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SPOILED KIDS - Impress and Depress
I hope that I can help a friend or two here by writing this article. This is my true intension and instead of just personally attacking someone for how they choose to live their lives, I thought it would be better to make some people "think" and hopefully they will make changes for the sake of their children and move towards a more positive future. After growing up around two very different neighborhoods, I do think I know about "spoiling children" since originally I came from a very humble background and neighborhood. When I moved to a more affluent neighborhood eventually, I definitely saw the difference in how the children were being "rewarded" and not disciplined. It was very obvious that the parents were less emotionally involved and more interested in making money and "keeping up with the Jones" as my father used to say. Some of the kids I knew had brand new foreign cars when they first got their drivers licenses. I am thankful for my experiences in two different places because it taught me the difference in the "haves," "the have nots," and the "have...but not pretending they are royalty."
Dear Parents, what you really need to think about before you buy that little girl a pony is how this will effect her after she leaves the nest. If you are planning elaborate functions for children who are not near their "sweet sixteen," I would definitely sit down and think about "why you feel the need to impress anyone?" Is there a lack of intimacy in your household? Is it that you are too busy with your professional lives and trying to "keep the peace" in your home or with your spouse and family since you are never around? I have been to many of these so called "expensive" elaborate events (in many parts of Los Angeles) as a child and as an adult and as the kids got older they just expected more and more. A lot of them ended up with serious drug problems and lifelong therapy sessions. Some really hated their parents for not giving them "love" and "buying them off" as they used to say. Eventually when these parents got divorced (which usually always happens ; sorry to say), the children got caught up in what I call "who is going to pay for my lifestyle now?" I saw this happen with a friend of mine who was married for 25 years before she got divorced and when her daughter asked if she could keep her pony, my friend said "ask your father." Her father then told her "ask your mother" and it went on and on until the pony eventually was sold and the young girl went into depression before she went to college. Sound good to you? This is the sort of stuff that happens. Also if you have daughters and you treat them as princesses, they have a worse chance of meeting a "good hard working, respectful man" in the future because all the "flash" that they are accustomed too is not to be seen in the initial dating phase. Remember if they marry for money, they will pay for it. And so will you when Mr. Jerk off shows up. It is like a "domino effect" and it just keeps going and going into future generations. Please, tell me how many wealthy people you know are really actually nice? Not many. Why? Because they are too stressed out about keeping it all and making the delusion last forever!!!
So, think about it every time you "give in" and try to keep "up" another parent in your neighborhood or impress a client who has kids in your kids schools. Here is the point...if you have gone too far and this article has made you realize it then here are a few things you can do to change things. Start creating chores for your children and come up with a list of money rewards like a quarter for each chore so they understand about the value of money. Make sure your kids go and help at a "homeless shelter" or "soup kitchen" during the holidays once a year to remind them about "real life." If possible, plan intimate dinners for celebrations or birthdays instead of elaborate ones. Even if you want to impress a client, make it intimate for the sake of your kids. You can impress your clients and other parents by hiring a good chef.
Growing up and marrying into different situations, my life could have gone any way I wanted it too. After all everyone has choices. I chose to move my kids out of Los Angeles so that they can look into the fishbowl and understand the difference. I do have my production company in Los Angeles, but the kids are rarely there. This can happen anywhere though. Anywhere people move to be in the place that makes them look "successful." Los Angeles, New York, London, Paris and more. My company has very big clients in foreign countries that deal with entertainment and branding but I never bring the kids around it. I took them to a commercial set once when they were young and just recently so they can see how hard it is to make television (I'm hoping they have normal jobs one day ; Please God). When they sat there for 4 hours watching the same scenes play over and over again while they were filming and met the cast, they were not impressed at all. I also keep them away from spoiled children as much as possible and they have even complained about "how hard some kids try to impress them." So, even if they get good gifts once in a while, the focus is not on "what other people have" and "why they have less?" God knows children have enough pressure in their social circles to have to compete about other things too.
So, one day when you are in a bad place with your child (hopefully not), maybe you will see what I was saying here in this article. It may be a good idea to bookmark this. One thing for sure that I will always do....nomatter what... I will always let my children know is that their "hearts are not for sale" and either is mine.
- Why Rich Kids Dont Stay Rich - The Wealth Report - WSJ
Rich kids, we hear, have it all. Money. Connections. Top educations. Cars and clothes. For those who are part of what Warren Buffett calls the Lucky Sperm Club, life is supposedly one long shopping trip with an no-limits ATM card. But what if its not
- Rich Kids Wont Inherit as Much as They Think - The Wealth Report - WSJ
For generations it has been an article of faith that the wealthy will pass down their fortunes to their children. A survey from U.S. Trust shows that chain of wealth may be unlinking.