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Said No One Ever - Quotes About Things No One Ever Said

Updated on November 26, 2015
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StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.


Funny quotes and status updates about things no one ever said and no one will say ever!

...Said No-One Ever Quotes!

"I LOVE smelly shoes" Said no one ever.

"Bad morning to you!" Said no one ever.

"I appreciate your scent in this room since you haven't showered in a week!" Said no one ever.

"I wish weekends never existed" Said no one ever.

"My, what lovely Crocs you're wearing" Said no one ever.

"Wow that orange spray tan really suits you!" Said no one ever.

"This lettuce sure beats having cake!" Said no one ever.

"I wish I was Octomom" Said no one ever.

"I wish mom and dad had named me Sparrow" Said no one ever.

"Man I wish I was older" Said no one over 30, ever.

"I'm so glad I've been feeling off all week" Said no one ever.

"You gave me way too much change" Said no one ever.

"No I don't like a shoulder massage" Said no one ever.

"I wish I had less money" Said no student ever.

"I hate sleeping in" Said no one on their day off, ever.

"I'm so glad I'm working today and not at the beach" Said no one ever.

"I love crying babies when I'm on a plane" Said no one ever.

"It feels so great to be ignored" Said no one ever.

"Your breath tastes so sweet in the morning" Said no one ever.

"I'm prettier than Miranda Kerr!" Said no one ever.

"I love going to weddings on my own" Said no singles ever.

"I really want to date someone sleazy" Said no woman ever.

"I want to date someone older than my parents" Said no one ever.

"You look so gorgeous with that tongue piercing" Said no one ever.

"Teenagers know everything about life" Said no one ever.

"I hope it's cold and rainy all weekend" Said no one ever.

"I love when the wind and rain messes with my hair" Said no one ever.

"I'm thinking of moving to the Arctic" Said no one ever.

"I love using the Port-A-Loo's at concerts" Said no one ever.

"Let's eat salad all year!" Said no one ever.

"I prefer fake diamonds" Said no woman ever.

"So lovely of you to leave wee on the toilet seat" Said no one ever.

"I love it when the train is full and I have to stand up for the journey" Said no one ever.

"I can't go out looking like this! I'm just too good looking!" Said no one ever.

"I love it when every channel is on a commercial break" Said no one ever.

"The weather man is always right" Said no one ever.

"I really wish it was colder today" Said no one ever.

"Go ahead and date my boyfriend" Said no girl in love, ever.

"Cheating is totally okay" Said no one ever.

"I can see you cheated on me by accident" Said no one ever.

"Please boss, can I work back late for free?" Said no employee, ever.

"Sleep deprivation is fantastic" Said no one ever.

"I love the way your midriff roll bulges out of your jeans" Said no one, ever.

"I love the way you never call when you say you will" Said no one, ever.

"I want eyebrows like Pamela Anderson" Said no one, ever.

"He would be so cute if he wore his jeans a little more lower" Said no one ever.

"I'm so happy to be stuck in traffic" Said no one ever.

"Petrol is so cheap!" Said no one ever.

"I just read the text messages in your phone while you were in the shower" Said no one ever.

"No! I do not want to win Lotto" Said no one ever.

"I can't wait until the next time I lose on Lotto" Said no one ever.

"No I do not want to be better looking" Said no one ever.

"You look so cute in the bathroom mirror photo you took of yourself" Said no one ever.

"Paris Hilton is a brilliant singer" Said no one ever.

"I want a dress made out of steak like Lady Gaga's" Said no one ever.

"I wish I was brunette" Said no blondes ever.

"I absolutely hate chocolate" Said no one ever.

"Lets wait until it's past it's used by date before we eat it" Said no one ever.

"I love the photos you take of yourself for your Facebook profile" Said no one ever.

Author: Stricktlydating

StrickltyDating's Funny Status Updates On Youtube:

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    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Bah, a lot of these sentences have been said many times, just through the purple mist of sarcasm.

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for your great feedback :)

    • duffsmom profile image

      P. Thorpe Christiansen 

      8 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

      Fun Hub - well done!

    • profile image

      Camo Girl 

      8 years ago

      You are very good at what you do and Very Funny hub too!!!!

    • Brett Winn profile image

      Brett Winn 

      8 years ago from US

      Very cute! I like!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Haha, Bob I'm sure that's been said many times before! Well it's 3am here in Australia, maybe I am going barmy, but thankyou for saying it's fun! :) Hope you're having a nice weekend.

    • diogenes profile image


      8 years ago from UK and Mexico

      "You're so lucky diogenes is in love with you!"


      ha ha SD, you're going barmy but it's fun.



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