Witty Words of our Grandfathers - Things you just don't hear anymore
Over the years I have heard some strange sayings; things that make you stop and go "Huh?". Also some that are simply not in vogue anymore, or perhaps the world has become too "Politically Correct" for them; but I thought they sure were funny. Here are a few of them for your enjoyment. Let me know if you have any; I'd like to bring some of these back in style. Hell, they sure can't hurt the English language anymore than it is now., You know, those texting things like LOL, ROFL, TTFN, LMAO, and BTW. Anyhow, here ya go.
It's rainin' like a cow peein' on a flat rock.
I'll whip you like a red headed stepchild.
If the good Lord's willin' an' the creek don't rise.
Ugly as home made sin.
You couldn't carry a tune if you folded it up and put it in your pocket.
He's dumber than a box of rocks.
Old as Moses toes and twice as corny.
That's about as funny as a submarine with a screen door.
If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.
I'll bet he even sleeps slow.
Slick as greased owl puckey.
Slicker'n snot on a brass doorknob.
They don't have a pot to pee in, or a window to throw it out of.
Bless your heart. (This is not neccesarily a good thing to have said about you.)
Champagne taste on a beer budget (Again, not neccesarily true anymore. Some beer costs as much as cheap champagne.)
Want in one hand, poop in the other and see which one fills up first. (Still in use although the youth of today don't understand its meaning)
Busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.
Snug as a bug in a rug.
Colder than a well digger's hole.
Dark as sin at midnight.
She looks like she tried to kiss a Mack truck.
He looks like the North bound end of a South bound mule.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You'd complain if you were hung with a new rope.
Finer'n frog's hair split four ways.
It's better to stay quiet and let everyone think you're an idiot than open your mouth and confirm it.
Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.