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Sharing the Secret Poem

Updated on June 1, 2013

The Secret

The Secret

As I lay down to write this little piece of poetry,

The tears in my eye bear witness to the truth

Like a song without the words

A man without a soul

A bird without its wing

Cos this is my secret

I have felt the breath

But Known no air

They say I have seen my enemy

And he looks just like me

My mind is muddy

but my heart is heavy

I have searched for clues

But all lead me to nothing

Do these little droplets, pure as the driven snows represent nothing?

If time is all I have

I'd waste it trying to find the secret

Without it

It’s hard trying to get this message across

Like sand in the midst of the wind

This is my message for you

Now try to understand

Cos that’s the real Secret.

This is actually the first poem I ever wrote properly. As you can probably tell, its not the greatest poem but then again I do not consider myself a great poet. As of writing this piece, I was feeling a bit down, trying to understand who I was or where I fitted in our society. "The tears in my eyes" bear truth to the pain I was feeling inside. I thought to myself why don't you try to write a poem about it, but my mind was too "muddy" for me to be able to write a good poem, I tried and this is what I could come up with. I showed it to a few of my friends and the response was rather positive, ever since I've decided when I've got a bit of free time to make the best use of it and write a poem. I hope you enjoy reading and look very much to reading you comments, be it a criticism or positive feedback,all is welcomed :). Thank you


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    • richbrayan profile image

      richbrayan 6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      thank you very much Secretlies, glad you enjoyed reading this :)

    • Secret lies profile image

      Secret lies 6 years ago from Redlands California

      Beautiful secret. I wouldn't have guessed it was your first piece. I love the images in my head as I read your words. Voted up and beautiful.

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 6 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      I've only read this one so far, but it makes me want to read further, I found it very much to my liking.

      I think I need to know more about you.

    • richbrayan profile image

      richbrayan 6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      Thanks Jean, I really appreciate it :) and I'll keep searching in hope I find the right answers soon

    • Jean Bakula profile image

      Jean Bakula 6 years ago from New Jersey

      I think it's a good poem, and there's a lot of bad poetry on hubpages. If you keep searching for clues, eventually they will lead to new interests and information about yourself. I often feel like I don't know where I fit in too. Keep on writing!

    • richbrayan profile image

      richbrayan 6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      oh wow, I can't express how feel for all of you taking time out to read my poem. Thank you for your lovely comments, it's what strives me on to continue writing! :)

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 6 years ago from Jamaica

      This is a good poem and as a poet myself I can tell when a poem is just 'made up' or when it is written from the soul. This poem was written from the soul and that is what poetry is about. I never could understand someone having to search for words to write poems when their emotions and experiences are speaking to them.

    • RVDaniels profile image

      RVDaniels 6 years ago from Athens, GA

      good hub

    • mikielikie profile image

      mikielikie 6 years ago from Texas

      I like this poem. It shows passion. The picture is pretty cool too.

    • gracefaith profile image

      gracefaith 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      nice sincere heart- felt poem.