Secret Rendezvous

The roller coaster of love is one I love and hate to be on.

Why is it so wrong,

But feels so right?

Why is it you

I think of at night?

I can't have you,

So why even fight?

Your love is taken

Yet you continue to invite.

Like a fool I'm hooked!

I need you so!

You're everything I want,

But I feel so alone.

I don't know how you feel,

But I feel it so strong!

I throw myself headfirst

Though I know it's so wrong.

Do I love you or need you?

I don't even know.

Can I sit back and watch

since I can't call you my own?

Can I just let you walk out?

And let this go on?

Of course I will, love,

I will be your pawn.

Why do I want you?

Is it to fill a void?

To fulfill a fantasy

Of a girl and a boy?

Is there a great place

Where all this is going?

Can I continue?

To live with not knowing?

As these thought are swirling

Throughout my brain.

I have no answers

I'm going insane.

You want to see me,

My caution is in vain.

Because I will see you,

Maybe work through the pain.

As soon as I see you

My heart is aflutter.

My senses are numb,

I can only stutter.

I know now more than ever

There will never be another!

This is no mistake!

We were meant to be lovers!

I look into your eyes,

Become lost in your stare.

You guide your hands

To run through my hair.

You bend down to kiss me,

But your heart isn't there.

I can feel myself breaking,

This just isn't fair.

Like a fool I continue

To keep up the brave face.

These feelings are real,

So why do I feel disgraced?

Should I feel so low?

So out of place?

Now I know you felt nothing

Only wanted a taste.

Like a fool I allow you

To take me away.

The way you touched me

Made me want you to stay.

I felt like you also

Felt so afraid.

The moments of Heaven

Felt like Hell the same way.

I knew you would leave me

Since you got your fill.

It would leave my head spinning,

Like eating a pill.

Was it worth the time?

The heartache, the thrill?

How can you feel love?

If you know it's not real?