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Secret Rendezvous

The roller coaster of love is one I love and hate to be on.
Why is it so wrong,
But feels so right?
Why is it you
I think of at night?
I can't have you,
So why even fight?
Your love is taken
Yet you continue to invite.
Like a fool I'm hooked!
I need you so!
You're everything I want,
But I feel so alone.
I don't know how you feel,
But I feel it so strong!
I throw myself headfirst
Though I know it's so wrong.
Do I love you or need you?
I don't even know.
Can I sit back and watch
since I can't call you my own?
Can I just let you walk out?
And let this go on?
Of course I will, love,
I will be your pawn.
Why do I want you?
Is it to fill a void?
To fulfill a fantasy
Of a girl and a boy?
Is there a great place
Where all this is going?
Can I continue?
To live with not knowing?
As these thought are swirling
Throughout my brain.
I have no answers
I'm going insane.
You want to see me,
My caution is in vain.
Because I will see you,
Maybe work through the pain.
As soon as I see you
My heart is aflutter.
My senses are numb,
I can only stutter.
I know now more than ever
There will never be another!
This is no mistake!
We were meant to be lovers!
I look into your eyes,
Become lost in your stare.
You guide your hands
To run through my hair.
You bend down to kiss me,
But your heart isn't there.
I can feel myself breaking,
This just isn't fair.
Like a fool I continue
To keep up the brave face.
These feelings are real,
So why do I feel disgraced?
Should I feel so low?
So out of place?
Now I know you felt nothing
Only wanted a taste.
Like a fool I allow you
To take me away.
The way you touched me
Made me want you to stay.
I felt like you also
Felt so afraid.
The moments of Heaven
Felt like Hell the same way.
I knew you would leave me
Since you got your fill.
It would leave my head spinning,
Like eating a pill.
Was it worth the time?
The heartache, the thrill?
How can you feel love?
If you know it's not real?
Comments
Another beauty of words! I love your emotion in the writings!
I'm speechless! This poem takes ones feelings beyond words. Written from the heart that captures the emotional turmoils of how painful and glorious love can be at the same time. From one end of the spectrum to the other.
You reach deep into your soul and you know what you feel. Your awareness of your feelings are raw and poignant.
So much pain and yet you were able to find your way through.......
Great Job!
Sage
Beautifully expressed...captures well the essence of love, with it's high and lows, swinging between desire and need and pain and disillusionment. Really enjoyed this too....:)
Another great poem Becca. Proud to be a follower of your writing. I'm honored to know you and touched by your expression. Thank you. :)
I loved this poem !!! Really !!! I think it's wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. A lot !!!! :)
This poem is so well-written, Becca. It includes us on an emotional roller coaster of love and pain and sorrow. It probably falls into the "too much information" category, but I have adored women who did not love me in return, who kept me nearby anyway for--well, who knows why they kept me around if they didn't love me?
Your poem brings all kinds of emotions to the surface. Your writing never fails to impress.
Thanks for sharing this.
Mike
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