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"Secretly", a poem referencing "Outlander" novel characters written August 11, 2014

Updated on May 17, 2017
Diana Majors profile image

I'm Diana, happily married, and blessed by God on a daily basis. I live with chronic illness, but I don't let that get me down!


Where is my match?

Where is my Jamie?

Is he in this time

Or in the distant past?

Have I missed him,

Though I should search for him?

I spend my nights alone,

My mind yearnfully seeking him.

Where is he?

Does he live near

Or very far away?

Will I know him when he comes

Or have I already met him?

I wonder where you are,

What you're doing,

When we will meet.

Will I know instantly?

Will I know you for a long time before?

Where is my Jamie?

Must I be Claire after Frank,

With no love left to give?

I miss comforting arms,

Reassuring tones with understanding words.

I enjoy having no boundaries,

And yet their absence causes pain.

The simple sharing of one's life with another

Seems a privilege denied.

I sometimes would gladly give over my

Hard-sought independence

To be able to trust him enough

To lay my barriers down

And to be loved for my transparency.

The tears roll down my face,

Not crocodile tears, but of suppressed fear.

Yes, fear.

Will all my days be this?

How long to be alone?

Alone, secretly fearful of his not appearing.

Of Alone.

Of being unloved,

Unable to feel loved completely

Or being able to love another

In the same way.

Oh Claire!

Where is my Jamie?

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© 2017 Diana Majors


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    • Diana Majors profile image

      Diana Majors 10 months ago from Arkansas

      Thanks, Audrey! I have found him!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 10 months ago from California

      I hope you find your Jamie--this was beautiful and heartfelt

    • Diana Majors profile image

      Diana Majors 10 months ago from Arkansas

      Thank you! I actually met the man who is now my husband just 3 months after writing this.

    • threekeys profile image

      Threekeys 10 months ago from Australia

      Heartfelt poem. May the yearning disappear and may your man appear. All the best you.