Making a Life Changing Decision

Allow me time to find my way

Don't put me down

It hurts and causes me to frown

Help me find myself in life

not to distance myself

the intentions were unclean

which caused you to be mean

I then started another journey

went through a few chapters

started off sweet like honey

then walked through rockery and stoney

I was shied

I had drive

had my fair share

of goals that I strive

a lot of pressure

I won't lie

am human and always cried

There were so many things

that always transpired,

but in my house and home

always admired

There was my answer

here's my new journey

staring me in the face,

thats what it took for me to leave

that place

Many may relate, that from an early age, parents, teachers and extended family continuously reminded me about the importance of studying hard. This was based on a premise of good intentions to eventually land a good job, earn decent money, and be able to live a comfortable lifestyle.

I listened obediantly as a child and thought I did so to the best of my ability, but after years of listening to the same advice, I became a rebellious child.

My efforts as a child no matter how significant, were never acknowledged, which gave me the feeling of "not being good enough". Evidently displaying that the emotion of a child, registered differently in the mind of an adult. I then adopted a persona, "if I am not going to be accepted or encouraged for my efforts, why bother".

As the years progressed, the advice stopped, was then criticised and considered the outcast of the family.

Though the manner in approach affected me emotionally, I went on to finish my studies, thinking I have 2 choices:

1. prove them right or;
2. prove them wrong

I chose the latter, as it was no longer advice I need to heed, but advice that will enable me to persevere.

After my 20th birthday, I received an opportunity to work for a major financial institute in South Africa. I was overjoyed and gladly accepted, it was a step closer to my goal of success and proving those that were critical of me "wrong".

In view of the initial stages, I believed to be climbing the corporate ladder progressively, within a span of 6 months was promoted into a junior management role.

This was exciting news and an amazing opportunity to share, especially those critical of me.

As time went on, I realised that the job I started out with, became a career and by embracing the opportunity, decided it was time to further my studies which would provide me further direction in climbing higher up the ranks.

Another two years of working and studying equally as hard, I was approached and said I was in line for a further promotion into a middle manager role.

I know, an assured promotion is not an easy feat, considering everyone in the corporate world is striving for the same opportunity and promotion as you.

Soon, the working and studying no longer had the desired impact as before. I found myself consumed with balancing routines that I unconsciously adopted.

After 16 years, I reflected on my life, leading me to ask myself a few simple questions:

• Did I study hard?
• Did I work hard?
• Do I earn decent money?
• Do I have a comfortable lifestyle?

The concept of money and lifestyle has been unified for far too long; blurring the lines to distinguish one without the other.

Following dealing with my thoughts, I involved my family to my thinking process, “that’s when reality hit me”.

It was no longer about receiving acknowledgement by my critics but proving to myself that I am the best I can be and more than capable.

I was in an adult ego state for so many years that I failed to appreciate the simple facts of what I have been trying to achieve.

My lifestyle should not be based only on money. Many may think there is no truth in my opinion.

Allow me to explain,

• I am no longer a 20-year-old.
• I have become a wife, a mother and the glue that holds a big part of my family together.

Lifestyle to me is about the elements in your life that are qualitative. There were many years I missed milestones and opportunities of being a nurturing parent with my kids.

I have became the same as my critics in childhood.

On that point, I willingly decided to make a change. Believe me it’s not easy, especially if you’re stuck to routines.

I made an informed decision to resign from the corporate world.

There are many other reasons for the drastic change, which I will share in future articles. It was simple changes in the way I balanced the financial aspect in cutting cost on the activities that I usually outsourced, to mention a few, such as, aftercare school programmes, travelling expenses and tutors.

I have been a full time mum and wife for the past 9 months and my zest for life is greater than ever.

I appreciate the smaller aspects rather than my robotic self, that could never in 16 years in the corporate world, been able to notice.

My advice to you out there, would be to ask yourself the same questions.

Remember, if you don’t like your answers, you have the right and the choice to change it.

The journey of life is determined by the lessons we learn, to ensure the gain of knowledge and experience to contribute towards a greater purpose.

My journey has been a culmination of struggles with silver linings of triumphs. These victories are worthless until you've gone through the struggle.