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Funny Short Seniors Joke - Number Two

Updated on March 13, 2013

Love conquers all

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Two

Now that you know April is National Humor month, we can dive right into funny short joke number two and funny quote.

Be sure to memorize all these funny jokes as questions may be asked of you . . . by your family psychiatrist.

Funny Joke Number Two

Millie, 90 years young but still attractive, had been a widow for some time. She met Billy, 92, a widower, at a social activity in the retirement village in which they both lived. Mutual friends introduced them and both soon discovered that they enjoyed being with each other.

After several weeks of meeting to play bridge, Billy finally asked Millie out for dinner and was delighted when she accepted. They dined at an expensive restaurant, and discovered they had much in common. Besides being excellent bridge players, they both had identical political and religious preferences. And despite his age, Billy was still a delightful, knowledgeable dinner companion.

Afterward, Billy asked Millie to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink. They listened to their favorite piece of romantic music, Debussy’s ‘Clair de Lune,’ while drinking a little brandy Billy had been saving for a special occasion. Age did not inhibit them and the special occasion soon took place. They enjoyed – this is a very old term – a ‘roll in the hay.’ As they were reminiscing about the pleasure they had just shared, each was lost in their own thoughts.

Billy was thinking, “Gee, if I had known she was 'so much in need,' I would have been much more gentle.”

Millie was thinking, "If I had known he could still 'do the deed,' I would have removed my pantyhose."

Funny Quote

“I plan on living forever. So far, so good.” – drbj

Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved.

Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

Comments for Funny Short Seniors Joke - Number Two

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    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      This joke has probably been around longer than our combined ages and I did have to sanitize it a bit but not too much or it would lose its, shall I say, flavor. Thanks for loving my quote as well.

    • nemanjaboskov profile image

      Nemanja Boškov 

      6 years ago from Serbia

      There is an exact same joke in my country, although a bit more dirty :) I love it, and your quote is hilarious as well!

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      If I made you laugh, JR, I am delighted. You are my hero, too, you know.

    • profile image

      JRocco 

      6 years ago

      Well you did it again. You made me laugh. You are my hero.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, VioletSun - delighted you found this funny. It's not difficult to locate humorists who are funnier than most - every mental institution houses them. Just kidding, of course, since I often label myself (in my lighter moments) as one of them.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Sometimes, Alastar, tongue-in-cheek experts are the best kind. If you like, I can send over an expert to check your communication wires. Should I call the telephone company or your mental health professional. Heh, heh.

    • VioletSun profile image

      VioletSun 

      6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      OMG, this was funny! LOL Like FP says who thinks up these jokes? It will never occur to me to come up with these. Thank goodness for the talented humorists. LOL!

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 

      6 years ago from North Carolina

      Drbj, my communicatin' wires have been mixed up lately, so just so you know, the 'experts' were tongue-in-cheek ones.:)

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Vincent. Wow, what an opening you gave me with your comment, 'Why do women always have the last word?' The answer, my dear Hubbuddy, is God created man first. Then He said to himself, I can do better than that. And he created woman!

      Gals love this oneliner but guys aren't that fond of it. Can't imagine why.

      Dementia is okay as long as you don't succumb. Humor and laughter work wonders in keeping it at bay. Yes, take that pill but don't call me in the morning. I like to sleep in on the weekend. Enjoy yours!

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Erotica, mary? That's too heavy for me. I'll leave it to the experts. Funny, almost innocent, jokes are my cup of tea - especially if the punchline can be a bit of a surprise.

      The next one, Number Three, should be on the way.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you for sharing with your mental health experts, Alastar. Delighted to have kudos from such credible critics. What a great motto for a tee shirt: 'Nimble Nonagenarians Rock!' Love it.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Paradise. So the punchline was worth every minute and a half? You are a naughty girl, funny, but naughty! The best kind.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hate to disillusion you, m'dear, but an experience like this one when you are much, much, much older may be the BEST of your opportunities. Trust me.

      And I love having the ole chain yanked. Metaphorically speaking of course.

    • profile image

      Vincent Moore 

      6 years ago

      Doc why is it that woman always have the last word? You had me almost wetting myself. Nurse please bring me another diaper pleaseeeeee:-) BTW it's so nice to be into Dementia together, that way we can't be blamed for our oversights. I loved this one, laughing out loud. Can you hear me doc, I know give me a pill and I will be fine in the morning right? LoL

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, sweet Feline. Who thinks them up? Damned if I know. I just find them in my files, dust them off, rearrange the message when needed, and fire them off. Did I hit the mark?

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Pras - I love to read your comments. You are always so gracious with your adjectives. Thank you. And you were laughing from the beginning to the end? That's the greatest compliment of all, my friend. Happy you enjoyed that beautiful music and thank you for the Up.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, christopher. I knew you would appreciate 'Clair de Lune.' It's one of my favorites. too. I apologize if your laughter made you miss a crescendo or two. More fun is coming your way.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      You are so right, John, this WAS an almost 'penetrating' anecdote. Clever of you to notice.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, kallini, you may have noticed that the joke on this hub is different from the one you commented on. See my explanation in my answer to Becky above your comment. And you are so right - the wife was just as much at fault. Let me know if you like this one, too.

    • drbj profile imageAUTHOR

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Becky, I think I heard you laughing from here. I thought the joke about the (drunk) guy driving was pretty funny too, but a renegade ezine site appropriated it and my hub was pulled. Not to worry, I will have my revenge. A Scorpio never forgets. Nor forgives!

      Hope that you enjoy this substitution - I would have included it sooner or later anyway.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      6 years ago from Florida

      Oh Lord, when I first begin to read this joke, I thought, oh, no: drbj is joining some of the other poets here in writing erotica. I was glad to see this was just a funny little joke. I'll look forward to the next one!

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 

      6 years ago from North Carolina

      Showed this to two of my three "mental health experts' Drbj and both asked "How can we follow this Joker?" So, with that good news-- Nimble Nonagenarians Rock! Love yer quote too Drbj!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 

      6 years ago from Upstate New York

      Great! The punchline was worth every minute and a half!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Are you kidding me? Is that what I have to look forward to? hahaha Totally yanking your chain! lol

      Very funny!

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      6 years ago

      Who thinks up these gems?!! :)

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 

      6 years ago from malang-indonesia

      Brilliant hub and very well written. Laughing from the beginning until the end. Thank you very much for writing and share with us. I also enjoy the video as well. Rated up and take care!

      Prasetio

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 

      6 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      I had to mark it beautiful as well because of the music. It is difficult to concentrate on the delights of Debussy when laughing so much. I gave it my best shot though. MORE PLEASE SOON!!!!

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 

      6 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      Was this a 'penetrating' anecdote, DRBJ, or a review for wearable condoms? Nice one!

    • kallini2010 profile image

      kallini2010 

      6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      I think there should be a charge for the woman - as assisting in all the crimes, starting from the last/first offense - letting her husband to drink and drive and getting with him in the vehicle knowingly...

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Now I am really laughing. This one is really funny.

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