Showing Some Grudge: A Dark Poem and Topic on the Suicides of Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell
Just Trying to Stay Alive: Rest in Peace Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington
This poem was written after spending my weekend listening to bands like; Tool, Linkin Park, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, and NIN.
As everyone knows by now, in these past few months, we have lost two great musicians of two bands I mentioned above; Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. They were extremely talented musicians with more demons to fight than even their families were aware of, both sadly deciding to end their lives. Chris hung himself on May 18, 2017 and in a state of depression that no one could have imagined, Chester Bennington followed his friend in the same manner, ironically, on Chris Cornell's birthday July 20, 2017.
The sad events have thrown me also in a state of depression lately. Not only am I a die-hard alternative-rock fan, I too suffer from this incurable disease. It is an unforgiving demon that will sneak up on you and destroy with no remorse. God, I hope I can keep my fight going, and I hope anyone out there that knows this, at times paralyzing sickness, will continue to keep finding reasons to live.
And I'm lost behind the words I'll never find. And I'm left behind as seasons roll on by...— Chris Cornell
I Was Off to My Dark World Today: Explaining My Inspiration for This Particular Poem
As I mentioned above, I too have this side of me that is dark and down. I think all who suffer from depression without control, go off to the parts of themselves that hurt the most from current or past issues. For me, it's actually been several things; bullying, being an outcast, and my biggest hurtful hurdle to get over has been not ever feeling good enough for someone to love completely. It's been my experience; I just don't fit in. Although I don't like to admit it, I get lonely sometimes which unfortunately, tends to dig up the old bones of love abandonment. As I was listening to some really sad songs, one stuck out in-particular and sent me on my journey of cleansing, which is through my poetry. And so, I will post the song and my poem here for anyone who would like to indulge themselves into my dark world.
Thanks for the Inspiration NIN...
I'm falling down the orifice of darkness, where I have hung my bonnet
before…not once, or twice, only a merely million times galore.
It was you that sends me on a free fall again; hitting on the thorns
of your dead promises.
And as I make my maddening descend I will once again halt, pulling
myself up for a bit of revenge.
Crawling out and becoming she; that one of me that you cannot unsee.
To feed my reborn demon side, I’ll hold onto your fake love lies.
You, I now hate, with your stupid views of how true love should properly
Never deserving of my wisdom insights, or my pretty poses, which
gave you eye candy delight.
Miss me, you will, because you at no time again shall see, that part of me
so light and free.
I’m dark as night now, the lies of disgust, finally broke through and toughened
me back up.
And please, don’t ever think I’m going to forgive; make that mistake
and you will witness my sin.
If You Need Some Help...
Fighting the Demons; Depression, and for Some - Addiction
© 2017 Missy Smith