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Small Stories: Five Short Flash Fiction Stories
The Challenge
In his recent hub titled "Extremely Short Flash Fiction: Three Stories by cam" Chris Mills issued a challenge for other hubbers to attempt to write some very very short stories. These are nowhere near as short as those Chris was able to write but they are the best I could come up with given both the Hub Page preferred minimum word count and my ability as a flash fiction writer. I hope you enjoy at least one of them. They are still quite short so shouldn't take too much of your time. Thanks for reading.
Tears in the Rubble
Mark wiped away a tear, his soot covered hand leaving a black smudge across his cheek. How could these cowardly bombers sleep at night after taking the lives of innocent children?
This was the part of a firefighter's job that he hated.
Just then Mark stopped feeling sorry for himself as he heard a faint cry, and began to dig frantically through the rubble that was once a child-care centre.
Based on a True Story
Although this story may seem a little fanciful it is indeed based on fact. Check out the following link:
Police snap up mud crab thought to be intruder in West End homeA Shellfish Intruder
"Did you hear that noise?" Danny asked his best friend.
"Yeah, it came from the kitchen," Trent replied, "Do you think it's a burglar?'
"Could be. It kind of sounded like footsteps, but I'm not going in there!"
"Your folks picked a good night to go out and leave us home alone. Use your cell phone and call the cops."
The police arrived promptly, and in a slightly bemused tone one officer addressed the two young boys, "Well, we've apprehended the offender, " she said, "He's a little crabby at being caught but at least he didn't pinch anything."
The boys blushed embarrassedly as the male officer held the intruder up .. a giant sized mud crab.
I think they recommended he boil the offender as soon as possible so they don't get a repeat call for this type of incident
— Todd Sucic, Senior Sergeant District Duty OfficerPour Pour Pitiful Me
The water poured down heavily, dancing a tarantella on the roof and windows.
"When will this ever stop?" asked Sarah anxiously, "I'm feeling claustrophobic cooped up like this."
"Stop exaggerating!" scolded her husband John, as he eased his foot down onto the accelerator. "It's only a car wash for God's sake."
Closet Capers
"My husband's home! Quick, hide in the closet!" she yelled.
Frantically, he jumped off the bed naked and raced to the closet, slamming the door behind him.
Slowly it dawned on him. "Hey, this is my house!" He banged on the door but it was locked.
Ignoring his protests she calmy dressed, removed the wallet from his trouser pocket, and walked out the door. "Nice doing business with you."
Dying to Be Free (or Deathly Deception)
A heavy sorrow hung in the air, as the coffin was lowered into the grave. Most mourners wore black and the grieving widow sobbed under her veil.
The deceased watched from behind a tall marble monument at the back of the cemetery. His deception had worked. They were burying the wrong man.
He was free at last.
I think of flash fiction as being one part story, one part poem.
— Grant Faulkner - Editor of 100 Word StoryWhat is your favourite form of fiction?
What are Flash Fiction and Micro Fiction?
What is flash fiction? Definitions can vary depending on the market, but generally, complete stories of fewer than 1,500, 1,000, 500 or even 300 words can be classified as flash fiction. Other terms it is sometimes referred to are: short-short stories, immediate fiction, sudden fiction and micro fiction
What is micro fiction? It’s a subset of flash fiction—those super short stories typically told in 1,000 words or less. Once again definitions vary, but generally, micro fiction is any story told in 300 words or less, and could even be as short as a few words.
"I think of flash fiction as being one part story, one part poem. Plot matters less than mood and telling details–yet it does matter. I try to search for a subtle pivot, a surprising juxtaposition. I try to write to the drift of a story rather than in its grain. The joy of flash fiction as a writer and a reader is found not only in the words of the story, but in what is left out–the absences can be almost spectral, haunting what’s been told, only guessed at. Sometimes, a short short is like playing the Ouji board. You have to settle for a small part of the story and let your imagination communicate with the other side to know the rest of it."
Grant Faulkner - Editor of 100 Word Story
© 2015 John Hansen
Comments
Jodah, Every one of your is a good, strong story. But.......they can be shorter :) I worked on them a little, and yes, they can be shorter. Adverbs often can go. If there are only two people speaking, dialogue tags can often go as well. I condensed the first sentence of your first story to 12 words from its current sixteen.
This is great John, and good information on flash fiction as well. The value in this exercise for me is not so much the stories, but the training I receive in saying what I want to say without using excess words. Thanks for taking up this challenge. Good, strong work.
Great stories. I think you can master any genre John. This are delightful.
- Author
Thanks so much Cam, both for the challenge and your comment. I appreciate the critique and was sure they could be shortened further, especially the dialogue. I thought of trying to cut them back and maybe write a few more stories but this is just a start and I can't wait to try writing more...practice makes perfect.
- Author
Thanks for reading Eric. Glad you enjoyed these. I like to try my hand at everything...it's the only way to find out what you are capable of.
All of your stories are great, esp. the ' closet Capers ' A few words, yet the whole story was seen. Well done John!
Great stories. I enjoyed every single one. I'm also a fan of the 6-word memoirs. It's so much fun trying the different "new" styles.
Nice job, John. My favorites are Pour Pour Pitiful Me and Dying to be Free.
All are good, but the car wash one is my favorite. Too funny! That girl needs to get a life. LOL Thanks for the great read this morning, John!
You have a Midas touch. Whatever you touch becomes very interesting and noteworthy. I enjoyed reading these stories, each one having a different flavor and unique effect.
These micro stories are reflective of great flexibility in literature. Much entertainment within a short span of time ! Voted up and shared. Great response to Chris's challenge.
- Author
Thanks Ruby. Glad you enjoyed these. Closet Capers was a bit of fun. :)
- Author
Hi Barbara, good to see you. Writing these was something new and fun. I could shorten most of them even more but glad you enjoyed. I'll have to check out the "6-word memoirs".
- Author
Hey Shauna. Thanks for reading and your kind comment. I enjoyed writing those two stories as well.
- Author
Thanks Bill. These were a little like writing limericks but in story form. Yes, that girl in the car wash..well what can I say? :)
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Thanks for the kind comment, vote up and share Harish. I am glad that you find my different styles of writing to be interesting and noteworthy. This was a fun challenge by Chris and I did my best.
wow Jodah, that must have been such a challenge.. it seems so difficult but you pulled it off my favorite of them is closet caper.. that had the adrenaline thrill LOL.. even dying to be free was very well done, but nope.. closet caper takes the pill.. voted awesome
- Author
Good to see you Frank. Yes these were quite a challenge. I wasn't confident I could meet this challenge. My stories still aren't a short as Chris's examples but they were fun to attempt..especially "Closet Capers." Poor guy. Thanks for the vote up.
Very good; I may have to have a stab at this! Will come back and spend more time later today. On the run right now! Up and sharing!
- Author
Thanks for taking the time to pop in and check these out Jackie. I hope you do try this challenge of Cam's. It is good experience and fun.
These were all excellent! Closet capers was very funny. The death deception was very good, but such a cliff hanger. Love to see expand it! Nice job, John!
If you just came up with these that is pretty good! Loved them.
I kind of liked the car wash one best; reminds me of me and also the joke my husband always tells his friends about me locking myself in the car!
- Author
Hi Lori, it seems Closet Capers and Death Deception are the most popular. You're right that the latter would lead itself to expansion into a full length story. Thank you for your encouragement.
- Author
Jackie, yes I did write these just for Cam's challenge. It probably took me two hours start to finish so it wasn't quite as difficult as expected though I could have trimmed them even more. Haha, really, you don't like car washes? Oh now you have to tell us the story your hubby tells about you locking yourself in the car.
Those were all interesting, funny, and of course, short. I liked them. I think I liked the crab one the best - I was expecting the police to say it was somehing like a parrot. I voted this up, shared, pinned and Tweeted it.
Kevin
Hi Jodah.
These are great to read, fun to live through and opportunity to tribute to your great writing : Up, awesome ,beautiful and interesting.
- Author
Hi Kevin thanks for reading and your kind comment. I am glad you liked the crab story....first reader to say that is their favourite. Thank also for the share, tweet, pin and vote up.
Hey John, you've done a great job on this short fiction. I enjoyed all of them and the element of surprise. They are all so different. I think you mastered this genre.
I'm not really into short fiction but can see the value in writing them and cutting those words down. I will certainly have to have a stab at this. (One of these days!!)
I wouldn't want micro fiction to become much shorter and somehow blend with Haiku!
Your mud crab story amused me (only in Queensland!)
Cheers for now - Maj
- Author
Goodday Maj, glad you enjoyed these. it's my first attempt at writing stories this short. I know I could have cut them back and reduced them even more (cam confirmed this) but I was uncomfortable making them any shorter. You are right, really short micro fiction stories aren't far off Haiku (apart from the set syllable structure). Yep, only in Queensland. We once found a live crab in our drain, and we lived 30km from the coast.
Seriously? Trying to pick a favorite isn't easy. Each one had its own graces but I think its the irony in the closet capers is what really caught everyone's interest. Great job John. I'll have to think about this one.
Voted a grand slam cause you certainly hit this one out of the ballpark.
- Author
Mary, what a great compliment. Thanks for the encouraging comment and vote up. Glad you enjoyed these short stories. I hope you decide to take up this challenge too.
Hello John. I enjoyed each of these so much! It's a fun and challenging exercise to tell stories in fewer words; however, I love descriptive words and think you have achieved a perfect balance. What a treat!
Cat:)
Loved the stories, John. It's a good challenge because it makes us be minimal. I too love the carwash story; I must admit they make me claustrophobic! Great ideas and lots of info about different lengths of writing.
I enjoyed the read and it made me smile.
Ann
Hi Jodah.
Well planned deception, quite a costly indeed.
Someone has said " learning is a process of acquiring skill." Speaks to me clearly on my way gaining skill commenting properly. In my previous comment by omitting to specified one story I like best, my comment was overlooked while following have received double. Thanks for indirectly leading me toward understanding secrets of HP technique.
Have a blessed week.
- Author
Hi Michael, please accept my apologies. I was sure I replied to your earlier comment but I see another was repeated instead. Sometimes my iPad does strange things. I appreciate your kind words and that you enjoyed these stories. Keep reading hubs and one day I look forward to reading some written by Michael-Milec.
- Author
Thank you Cat. It's great that you believe I achieved the perfect balance between "short and descriptive enough". That was what I found was the biggest challenge. It is always great to see a comment from you. Cheers.
- Author
Thanks for reading these short stories Ann, and for enjoying them of course. I found it similar to writing my micro poems and limericks but slightly more challenging to get the right balance and tell a whole story. Before of the car wash :) !
Hahaha, I loved all of these. They are all creative and it is certainly a great talent to write these as short as they are here. I am not sure I could write them any shorter. I like the crab one and the car wash one the best, but the funeral one is clever as well.
Up +++ tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing
We had the grands up since Thursday night, so I am trying to catch up a bit in reading.
Blessings always
- Author
Glad you enjoyed these Theresa and that they gave you a laugh. I enjoyed writing them..can't resist a challenge. Thanks for the vote up, tweet, pin etc too. Hope you had a great time with the grands.
It's awesome. Too much interesting and appealing stories in such few word counts. I enjoyed it too much.
Voted up, awesome and sharing also.
A fantastic collection, great writing, both lively and engaging , wonderful stuff, very pleasant to read,very well done, voted up, thank you, Lee
Thanks for the explanations of flash and micro fiction, and of course, your wonderful short stories. My favorite is "Pour Pour Pitiful Me." For me, it instantly provides so many leads into several areas of discussion.
- Author
Thank you very much for your generous comment , vote up and share Venkat. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed these stories.
- Author
Lee, thank you for reading this hub and for your encouraging comment and vote up. Glad you enjoyed this collection of short stories.
- Author
Hi MsDora, I am pleased that you enjoyed reading these stories. I really hoped that "pour Pour Pitiful Me" didn't come over as sexist. As quite a few female particularly liked that one I feel it must be ok. Glad you found the explanations of the different forms of short story helpful.
Great writing. Love reading your stories.
- Author
Thanks Larry. I appreciate your reading them.
Whenever I read micro fiction I am reminded about micro poetry--they are very similar in their approach--I really do like your fiction John!
Jodah, I really liked all your stories, but "Tears In The Rubble" is my favorite - so heart-wrenching and emotional.
I like that image of Trent and ET. Very creative.
- Author
Yes Audrey you are right, micro fiction and micro poetry are very similar. You are still trying to tell a whole story in just a few words. Thanks for reading.
- Author
Hello Phyllis, great to see you. I hope you are back on the road to full recovery. So glad you enjoyed "Tears in the Rubble" it is my personal favourite though the saddest of the stories. Yes, I had to use the Trent and ET pic somewhere. This seemed appropriate.
Hi Jodah, I love these small stories! all of them different, and I love the picture at the top! lol!
- Author
It's such a compliment when readers say they "love" something I write Nell. It encourages me and fuels the desire to keep trying new and different things. Glad you like that pic too.
Your stories are excellent! I love the one with the guy locked in the closet! So funny! Also interesting are your thoughts behind writing these short, short stories.
- Author
Thank you for reading my stories Suzette. Glad you enjoyed the hub.
Loved your stories John! Especially Closet Capers and The shellfish Intruder. Great photos too. You always write amazing stories. Great job! I want to try flash fiction too, but as of now I only have one and not sure its done.
- Author
Thanks Randy, glad you enjoy my stories. You should give flash fiction a try. I look forward to reading the story you have when you publish it.
It is difficult to choose one. I like these and the genre.
- Author
Thank you Flourish. You are allowed to ike them all :)
This is the first time I've come across this genre-ideal for the internet with speedy surfers! Loved the stories and I intend to try some myself. Thank you Jodah.
It seems like future concept. Your writing is good and enjoyable. The first one is really something like flash fiction, 2 3 4 are more like nice jokes than stories and the last one felt underdeveloped ( to me ). Great work nonetheless.
- Author
Thanks for your comment and valued opinion Top Indian Cinema. This was experimental and in response to another hubber's challenge. It is something I need to practice, writing stories this short. The last one could be developed into a longer story for sure. Thanks again.
I really enjoyed these shorts. They evoked all the emotions, and I liked the surprises they gave. Great work.
Truly enjoyed reading all the short stories Jodah. Those were some very unique ideas portrayed with immaculate use of language and imagery. You never cease to amaze with your set of skills in the various fields of writing.
- Author
Glad you enjoyed these stories Smilealot and that I managed a few surprises. Thanks for the encouragement.
- Author
Hi Sara, always good to read your encouraging comments. I like to try many different forms of writing and I am still learning all the time. Glad you enjoyed the language and imagery. Have a great week.
Couldn't help but chuckle at your stories. How fun. I often forget about flash fiction. Refreshing! Think I will read more!
- Author
Hello EsJam. I enjoy reading flash fiction because it doesn't take long to read and there is often an interesting twist at the end. I have only started writing it recently. Glad you enjoyed these.
Thumbs up! :)
I think all the stories are excellent, but got a real chuckle out of the feigned death.
- Author
Thanks for reading Deb, glad you enjoyed these especially "Dying to Be Free".
I enjoyed reading your stories. I laughed at the hide in the closet story. I think flash fiction suits my attention span these days. voted up ++
- Author
Catherine, I think my attention span is also lessening these days. I have trouble reading a hub with over 2000 words, and sometimes that's a struggle. I used to read a novel every week or two but that's out of the question now. Flash fiction seems to suit today's readers preferences though looking at the results of the survey most prefer short stories to anything else. Thanks for reading and the vote up.
I had never heard about flash fiction before so this hub was very enlightening and what is really awesome is that I just wrote what I thought was just an excerpt of a story and realized if I changed it slightly maybe it could be my first flash fiction story.
I must say your stuff is great - just great!
- Author
Thanks for reading these and for your kind words truanttrain. Yes you should turn that excerpt into a flash fiction story..give it a go. You can still write the expanded one later.
Great flash!
- Author
Thank you Ponders, great "flash" comment. :)
Top notch work John. Cam's comment about dialog tags got me thinking. I'm sure he's correct for the flash stories, but lately I have been upset at the lack of them in books, even those by Lee Child, my favorite author. Without the tags, I have to reread a number of parts of the book to figure out who is speaking. If I have to do this too often, I lose interest in the book.
- Author
I agree Billrrr about the dialogue tags. I hadn't noticed the lack of use in novels I have read lately although most are probably not new but a few years old. It may be ok for flash fiction but I'm sure I'd get lost in a novel without tags. I like Lee Childs too. Thanks for reading this hub.
Very entertaining John: I loved the one about the closet caper and the cute one about the kids afraid of the crabs. I loved them all but those two happen to be my favorite. Well-done.
- Author
Hi again Dana, we all have our favourites but those two were good choices I think. Cheers.
Reminds me of the ones I've read in old newspapers. Very nice.
- Author
Hi HattieMattieMae. Ye it is possibly a genre that was popular in old newspapers and the like where space was limited and stories had to be short but have an impact on the readers so they'd buy the next edition. Thanks for reading and your comment.
Hello John. These are great. Car Wash is my favorite although they all really are first rate. I have been busy on Amazon Kindle so have not been checking in as much as I should. I have focus issues and my new favorite apology for everything is... "I'm sorry, but I can't even do one thing at once!"
- Author
Haha Bill, I do appreciate you taking the time to read this and comment. Hope all's going well with Amazon Kindle. My son tells me to stop procrastinating and publish my book there too. I also have trouble doing more than one thing at once. My wife listens to audio books while she knits, crochets, uses the computer etc, but I can't take anything in while I am doing anything else. Take care.
I am doing better financially with Kindle that I ever could with HP, but it is a different venue and you miss the kinship that you find with the hubbers. That said, you need to get your work on Kindle! The pay rates are good and it's easy to upload books to the site. I have one book that has been in the top 100 of its category for six straight months. I only charge 99 cents for it so I only get 33 cents per copy....but I have had months of $100.00 just from that book alone. I have six or seven up now and am writing two more right now - switching back and forth between the two. If you need an info, email me at Billrrrrr@yahoo.com with your questions and I will help as best I can.
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Thanks for the info and offer Bill. I really need to do that, have been procrastinating too much. Mine will probably be poetry though so I doubt the demand is as good. Are your books short stories?
Nice and fun read.
- Author
Thank you Jewel, much appreciated.
Sure am glad I found these, John. I think you wrote them when my family was going through some illness and I wasn't doing much HP. I just love 'em. I'm finding that I can write flash fiction unless someone gives me a challenge like write something with the words "street", "strawberries" and "cat litter". I go totally blank. You're much better at it than I am.
- Author
Thank you MizB. Yes, especially with fiction, I find it much easier to write if a challenge has been issued. These resulted from one by Chris Mills. Let's see, how about I issue you with a challenge. Write a flash fiction story (under 1000 words). Prompts: a laundromat, baby, a robbery. Good luck. If anyone else sees this and wants to join in, they are welcome.
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