How It All Began
She'd always loved to flirt and now that she was working in a hospital in a secretarial pool for doctors the field was wide open! There were doctors everywhere with one better looking than the next. They were all sizes and colors and of course the married ones were off limits. Some flirted back, others were just polite but not interested.
When this particular doctor, Dr. Dee flirted back she was flattered. He would stand by her desk and rub her back as she typed. He would tell her how beautiful she was and how smart and talented. He knew all the right words and tricks. She was only nineteen but oh so mature.
He stopped by her desk for weeks and built up a relationship between them. She actually looked forward to seeing him and basking in his flattery.
She Never Saw It Coming
Finally he asked her out. A few drinks and maybe dinner. How exciting! She was going out with a doctor. Okay, he wasn't the best looking but he wasn't the worst either. He had dark hair and eyes and smiled a lot. He seemed like a nice guy so she said yes.
The day of their date she took extra pains to look good. Not just nice, but good. The dress that accentuated her slim waist and larger than normal chest. Let's face it, a girl had to show off her good points. She wore the highest heels in her closet to make her legs look good.
After work they met outside the hospital and got into his car. He told her he had to stop to have a pair of pants altered. While she was waiting in the outer part of the dry cleaners, the wife of the man altering his pants, came up to her quietly and said, "Get away from him. He's no good and you're a nice young lady." She didn't know what to say so she just smiled and said nothing. When he was done they went to a nearby bar and had a few drinks. She didn't drink much, ever, so two was her limit.
After they had drinks he said, "okay, let's go to dinner." They got in the car and drove out of the city. She began to get a little nervous because she had no idea where they were going and it seemed such a distance to go just for dinner. They drove for quite a while when he suddenly pulled into the parking lot of a motel. "Uh, where are we eating" she asked. He replied, "don't worry, there's great take out here." They got out of the car and went into the motel...into a motel room. Now she was more than nervous. She could feel panic rising in her throat and her heart beating faster.
He went to get food and brought it back to the room. He talked while he ate, she sat silently, not eating, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Soon after they ate, she knew. He began to caress her and make moves she was not ready to deal with. She tried to fight him off but here, alone in a motel room, she had little chance. She began to cry but he took no notice. When he was finished with her he said, "okay, let's go. I'll take you home."
Statistics on Sexual Violence (Females)
- Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.(U.S. Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey)
- 1 out of 6 women have been victims of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime. (National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.)
- 38% of women who have been raped were ages 14-17. (PSU)
- 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to the police. (U.S. Department of Justice)
- 73% of sexual assaults were committed by a non-stranger. (U.S. Department of Justice)
(Statistics from The Center for Family Justice http://www.cwfefc.org/svfacts.html)
She knew now she was not mature. She had been tricked into a situation she couldn't handle. Now she felt her life was ruined and she was partially responsible.
When she returned to work the next day she was very quiet. Her supervisor asked what had happened. She really didn't want to tell the truth but said Dr. Dee had come on to her and she was afraid of him. Her supervisor told her he was notorious for that. Her supervisor told her boss, Dr. McAfee. Shortly after Dr. McAfee called her into his office. He looked at her and said, "I want the truth, no matter how hard it is." She didn't tell him the whole truth but most of it. Dr. McAfee said, "this isn't the first time we've had trouble with Dr. Dee. His harassment has reached an end and we are going to suspend him for this."
She had learned a very hard lesson. One she would live with for the rest of her life. Eating away at her and making her ashamed of her own stupidity. His suspension made the days easier and eventually she put it in the back of her mind, to reside there for the rest of her days.
Have you ever found yourself in a potentially dangerous situation?
Rape is an act of aggression or violence. Date rape is still rape.The perpetrator of date rape has most likely planned it in advance. No victim is responsible, ever.
It is said statistics for date rape are hard to find because most date rape goes unreported. There is no shame in date rape and it is vital to tell someone, a family member or friend. Tell someone you can talk to. If you afraid to talk to a family member or friend, talk to a counselor or your local pastor.
Obviously this young girl did not use common sense. She should have spoken to her co-workers about this man's character. She should have listened to the lady in the cleaners, but, she didn't. Once the situation has occurred the most important thing to do is get help and not blame yourself.