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Soul Murder - A Rictameter Poem

Updated on August 21, 2018
Senoritaa profile image

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

Background

Ever since I read rictameters by fellow hubber Eiddwen, I have been meaning to write one myself. This one is about the realization of murdering one's own soul due to outward pressure, be it fate, peers, despair, temptations, or unrighteous desire. The realization strikes hard, and the grief seems to kill the soul.

Dying Soul
Dying Soul | Source

The Poem

Murder

Of my own soul

With my own sweaty hands

Drowned in the abyss of own fate

Committed to the past and present sins

Fallen into the deathly reign

Future ridden rapid

Childless grief-struck

Murder


© 2011 Rinita Sen

Comments

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    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot phdast. If you like this form I would suggest you check out Eddy's and Nikki's hubs. They are the masters!

      https://hubpages.com/@nikkij504gurl

      https://hubpages.com/@eiddwen

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Audrey. Appreciate your visit.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 

      9 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      My first exposure to rictameter. Powerful and gripping. Very well done.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 

      9 years ago from California

      Beautifully done!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot sofs. Appreciate your visit.

    • sofs profile image

      Sophie 

      9 years ago

      This is so deep and thought provoking. Lovely!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thank you so much Sky for making me feel so good with that comment. Surely this is a great platform to appreciate each others work, and learn from each other.

    • Sky9106 profile image

      Sky9106 

      9 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

      Recognizing the talents of others , speaks volumes of which direction you are heading ,and it takes nothing short of inside greatness, to recognize the works of others that are your peers playing on the very same field . With this I say that Eddy and yourself, on these poems that requires that extra Opmh! You are clearly at home and I admire your work. Great ability.

      Blessings Senoritaa!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Your comment made me fly high, Quill. :)

      You should also check out Eddy's and Nikki's pages: https://hubpages.com/@eiddwen

      https://hubpages.com/literature/Hello-Goodbye...

      I have learned from them, and they both excel at this style of poetry.

      Thanks a million again for visiting.

    • Last Scribe profile image

      Last Scribe 

      9 years ago

      I do believe this is the first rictameter I've ever read, and now I'm a fan. You made the rules of the style augment your writing. I loved it. Also, your explanations are written as gracefully as your poems. It's an honor to read the works of someone with such an amazing gift.

      -Quill

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks so much Eddy, for sharing your rictameters. I learned a lot from them.

      Hope we have a lot more to share throughout 2012 and beyond.

      Happy New Year.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      9 years ago from Wales

      Oh Senoritaa, I have to apologise for being so late getting round to this one.

      Your poem is amazing and you are obviously so very suited to this poetry.

      Thank you also for linking back to mine.

      I vote this one up up and away as many times as I can.

      Take care my dear friend and I look forward to following you into the New Year.

      Eddy.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thank you so much Jessica. Appreciate your visit, and glad that you liked it.

    • jessica.written. profile image

      jessica.written. 

      9 years ago from Flagstaff, Arizona

      this was so beautiful. i loved your word choice and the flow it was a very interesting and it was a very thought provoking piece to read. well done.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot Kim. You should definitely check it out. Its a lot of fun. As for me, I learned it from Eddy's hub:

      https://eiddwen.hubpages.com/hub/Our-lowsOur-highs...

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 

      9 years ago

      very nice, senoritaa. I'll have to check out the hub on rictameters. Thanks.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks Nikki. Your visit is always appreciated.

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Beautiful Garbage 

      9 years ago from Louisiana

      very good!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks a lot lyricwriter. Your visit and comment is much appreciated.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      9 years ago from West Virginia

      Votes up Senoritaa. Nicely done. This is a beautiful poem. Glad to find a fellow poet. Take care.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Exactly. You summarized it well. :)

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 

      9 years ago from Talisay City, Cebu

      yeah, so true...it's so sad to think that we are shutting down our souls for we are trying so hard to conform to this world...

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks always exploring. Your visit is much appreciated.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thank you caroline. Soul searching is one of my favorite topics.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      9 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Beautiful...

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 

      9 years ago

      Senoritaa this is amazing! I love the concept and your words are beautiful!

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Thanks V. Glad you liked it.

    • profile image

      V Qisya 

      9 years ago

      Simply great, Senoritaa! Up and away!

      Best Wishes, V

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      9 years ago

      Wow, Frank this was fast! LOL. Kidding! Thanks a bunch :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      9 years ago from Shelton

      Wow, Senoritaa this was good :)

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