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Soul Screams.

Updated on December 2, 2010

My soul screams to be fed.

What would you do if I

told you that my soul screams to be fed?

Would you gather me in your arms,

and hold me close, kissing the hunger away,

or would you step back and

watch me crumble from the weakening need?

What would you do if I told you I felt so cold,

so void of warmth, that I shiver deeply?

Would you cast a spark of heated passion my way,

or would you throw a cup of cold rejection

over me and watch me freeze?

What would you do if I told you that I was

sitting in a dark corner in my mind,

huddled and hiding, fighting not to lose sight of me?

Would you kneel down, and reach through the dark,

and raise me up, lifting me into the light with you,

or in your haste to get away would you push

me down further, not hearing my desperate

pleas before I drown in the muck?

I shudder at thinking these thoughts,

standing on an edge so desperately close

to teetering one way or another.

So lost inside.

A craziness that threatens everything I am,

everything I was,

everything I am yet to be.

I scream out as the

brutal tide of cascading emotions assault me.

I am pulled down unmercifully,

fighting the raging currents,

as I am pushed and dragged along the bottom.

I claw and kick,

struggling against the waves of insanity,

screaming out shakily.

Then just as suddenly as it started,

it crashed to an end,

leaving me breathless, trembling and torn.

I close my eyes,

afraid to show how lost I am inside,

afraid I am soulless,

not wanting to know,

but needing to know,

the answers that seem to stay outside my reach.

As I dance with a devil,

and play with an angel.

Letting them wage war over the tattered

remnants of something that I am no longer,

to know it is not worthy of any one effort.

I lower my head and

turn my battered and bruised spirit to the welcoming

dark.

Getting lost in the shadows.

Looking up with blank eyes.

What would you do if I told you,

my soul was screaming to be fed?

© 2010 ~Laurie~

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    • Fiddleman profile image

      Robert Elias Ballard 6 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

      Awesome

    • Poohgranma profile image

      Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge

      Amazing chilling desolate and I hope you have someone nearby.

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      @Fiddleman-Thank you. I wish you blessings.

      @Poohgranma-Thank you Sweet Lady. I actually wrote this years ago in the middle of a panic attack. In those darkest moments, and just now published it. Thank tho for caring. Blessings and hugs,

      Laurie

    • Poohgranma profile image

      Poohgranma 6 years ago from On the edge

      Oh GOOD! You can write durnig a panic attack? Girl, you are amazing on so many levels! ...and I would feed you my chocolate ... I would feed you half of my chocolate. YES I would feed you half of my chocolate!

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Ooooo chocolate!! I will share mine if you share yours!

      And yes at times Dear Lady, I write in panics, that is where some of my dark poetry comes from. At other times I am lucky if I can find my pills, or remember my name!

      And I feel blessed that you are willing to share your chocolate with me!

      Hugs!

      Laurie

    • prairieprincess profile image

      Sharilee Swaity 6 years ago from Canada

      LaurieDawn, this is breathtaking ... so raw and honest ... please take care! This is the question that anyone in pain asks: what will you do with me, in my Pain? When in pain, we long for someone to reach out ... this is so beautiful, my dear ....

    • Darlene Sabella profile image

      Darlene Sabella 6 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

      This reminds me of all the children in the world that are hungry, they must all feel this way, I wish I could do more, I wish I was rich, I would feed you and all others when their souls long to be fed. Brilliant hub, rate up love & peace darski

    • UlrikeGrace profile image

      UlrikeGrace 6 years ago from Canada

      LaurieDawn, your poetry is....frightening...in a good sense. I hope that makes sense. I can feel every raw word. I am glad that God is never afraid or cruel in our dark, raw momnets and that darkness is as light to Him. Sometimes no one will do but He in those moments. Bless you for sharing, Ulrike Grace

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      @PrariePrincess-Thank you Sweet Lady. Pain does have a way of making us feel intense and dark at times, but then we hopefully come out through the victory. I wish I could say I have, but I haven't yet, so all I can keep doing is making my way!

      Blessings,

      Laurie

      @Darling Darski-You are such a kind Lady! I too wish I could do more for those in need, and I always pray that my writings can help someone out there in need. I believe that friends and family are there to feed us what we need at times!

      Blessings and hugs,

      Laurie

      @Grace-You are so absolutely right, at times there is only God that can carry us through those times! In those darkest moments, I can say that I am thankful for him! Thank you Dear Lady for stopping by and your kindness.

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      I think the poem hits home for all of us as none of us wants to be alone in our pain and lonliness. Beautiful poetry Laurie.

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Minnetonka Twin! I think we all need that hug of warmth when we find pain and loneliness at our doors. And to share those moments in reaching out, that is what life is all about!

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      This is a powerfully written poem that captures the intensity of a panic attack.

      Thanks for writing.

      Namaste.

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Deborah-I guess sometimes panic attacks speak for themselves, the words just waiting to be screamed out!

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 6 years ago from New Zealand

      Packs a powerful punch your poetry! Thanks for sharing!

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Pennyofheaven! Thank you for stopping by, and it is a pleasure to "meet" you!

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • Scarlett My Dear profile image

      Scarlett My Dear 6 years ago from Missouri

      Accepting an outstretched hand in our darkest moments of despair takes great courage!

      I truly appreciate the honesty in the baring of your soul here, Laurie.

      Love ~ and Peace. Scarlett

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Scarlett! I thank you Sweet Lady for your compliments and for taking the time to stop by. There is always something to give back even in those darkest times. That is when we find dear friends, and kindness that has been shown to me.

      Blessings and hugs,

      Laurie

    • Dark Heart profile image

      Dark Heart 6 years ago

      So filled with emotions-wonderfully done.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      I am happy to read that this poem was written a few years back and you just now published it. However it still injects the reader with a sad feeling of loss for you back then.

      Isn't it amazing how we can bare our souls and share our inner most thoughts, pain, hurt and anger with strangers and feel that someone out there is listening and welcomes the opportunity to be our friend.

      I am glad you found yours. Peace and hugs and a very Merry Christmas to you and yours.

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Saddlerider. Yes it was written at a very dark place that I had reached in my life. And there are still times that I pull out that poem and read it, reminding me to always look up instead of down.

      One thing I have found is how great it is that there is always someone listening out here in this Cyber World, and it has helped me more than mere words can say. Thank you Dear Man!

      Merry Christmas to you and yours!

      Blessings and hugs!

      Laurie

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 6 years ago

      Sad but also creepy. You really like to dig around down there in the murky underworld. Cheers for taking the plunge.

    • LaurieDawn profile image
      Author

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      Thank you Doug! I sure do, I guess from pain words are born at times.

      Happy Holidays to you and yours.

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • profile image

      Jubilee 4 years ago

      I appreciate your writing, succinctly voicing humanity's outcry of the soul's 'lost-ness'. My many outcries to be fed were answered many years ago in three, among very many, bible verses. Matthew 5:6 (Blessed are those hungry and thirsty for righteousness: for they shall be filled), Nehemiah 9:15 (You gave them bread from heaven for their hunger, and brought forth water for their thirst, and promised they should go possess the land You swore to give them), John 6:35 (And Jesus said to them, I am the bread of life: you that comes to me shall never hunger; and believe on me shall never thirst).

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