ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Steel Regret

Updated on June 18, 2013

Squeezing so hard now
I can't stop the flow
watching it all drip away
I want to stay
but I lit the fuse
now it's too late

so much to say
so little time

trying to stop it now
but it's dripping like candle wax
I can feel the flame lowering
not as warm as i used to be
getting cold
on this hard wood floor

I am so sorry
I never said goodbye

I'm sorry
I wish I hadn't tried
wish I hadn't pushed so deep
wished I had a tourniquet

my pulse is fading
faintly breathing
every tear drop from my eye
screams another reason to live
I didn't want to die
I tried
I tried so hard

I just needed someone to help me fight the demons
I know I cried
a lot
but there was no place to hide

the darkness consumed me
I couldn't find the light at the end of this tunnel
I tried
I'm sorry

I thought my silence spoke volumes
but instead
it left you confused
you didn't know what to do
I sent smoke signals with every blink
you didn't know what to think
I'm sorry I lied
I tried

I told you everything was okay

Why did you believe me?

couldn't you see
I was always playing make believe
always pretending everything was okay
you were always looking
looking the other way

my dreams were hazed
everything glazed
you thought it was a phase

I told you my suicide note
was just poetry
I didn't want you to believe me
"It's nothing Dad, really"
my fingers crossed
I never needed a hug more
than I did then
I wanted you to see me

the paragraph in the middle
was about you
and me
you were too blind to see
I was afraid

Now I wish I could speak to you
and hear your voice
one last time
I would tell you "I love you"
a thousand times

I'm almost dead
and I'm left screaming in my head
hoping for peace
just a small piece
here at the end
I find myself
holding on, with everything I have
but it's not enough
all this blood
this red flood
it's written, "The End"


I'm so sleepy


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • SiberianWolf profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric T. Shortridge 

      5 years ago from MidWest

      SMonaghan... thank you so very much... appreciate your time and words... but most of all, for feeling the ink... love when that happens... new to the community of hubpages here.... so thanks again! I look forward to reading your ink :)

    • SMonaghan119 profile image


      5 years ago from PA

      Very well written...loved how I could picture feeling it...put myself in the place and perspective of the story being told...very emotional and are a very talented writer. Keep up the good work.

    • SiberianWolf profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric T. Shortridge 

      5 years ago from MidWest

      Thank you so much blaise... I will admit, I cried myself while writing this... embracing all those emotions as my fingers moved... makes it all worthwhile with your words... thank you!!

    • blaise25 profile image

      Fehl Dungo 

      5 years ago from close to you...

      I felt like crying as I go's breaking my heart. You wrote it so effectively. I'm a fan now. :)

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      5 years ago from TEXAS

      My pleasure!

    • SiberianWolf profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric T. Shortridge 

      5 years ago from MidWest

      Thanks so much Nellieanna :) always honored when others 'feel' the ink... appreciate your time and your kind words... Hope to be reading you soon :)

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      5 years ago from TEXAS

      It's effective, Siberianwolf. The saddest element to me is its evidence that it's a son or daughter. wow.

    • SiberianWolf profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric T. Shortridge 

      5 years ago from MidWest

      hey Poetic Ink :) Thanks so much... really appreciate that... I don't always enjoy the darker inks, as I tend to really feel the emotions involved... sometimes it can take awhile to come down, or get back up... thanks again, I hope to be making the rounds and reading your ink :O)

    • Poetic Ink profile image

      Mike Pugh 

      5 years ago from New York, New York

      This poem was loaded with passion and emotions for the love of self appeared to be slipping away, and till there was hope due to it all being a lie, wow!

      Nice technique and style of poetry, it was depressing for the most part, but good poetry does that to its readers sometimes, and even can inspire. Good job, and thanks for sharing it with us all. Thumbs up and getting shared on all of our community networks.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)