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Stories and Lies

Updated on December 22, 2016
Tide in at South Cape Marsh
Tide in at South Cape Marsh


The Defenestration of Ermintrude Inch: great name, great word, great story by Arthur C.Clark. Look 'm up yourself to get some fun. My story is related, kind of:

In college as a sophomore I was assigned a freshman as a roommate. He was a highly recruited lacrosse player from NJ, good looking in a sort of preppy NY sort of way. Very cocky, very short, wore pointed shoes we called PFCs. My favorite kind of guy. But coach Garber assigned him to me because we all KNEW he was from a little pond and it was UMASS 1967.... where the word PARTY was invented.

Our corner of the dorm was where all my best friends moved after a freshman year spent living in far corners of the campus. Wrestlers, gymnasts, soccer and lacrosse players dominated along with political types like me. We were cool, radical, and lordy,lordy how beautiful! Howie did not appreciate properly the honor that was bestowed on him, we god's letting him live on Olympus. He used my clean towels, swiped my acne medicine I smuggled in from Canada, abused my stereo, and wore out my Rubber Soul album. But he thought he was undetected.. na ah.

You see, I was in Luuuve. But she was going to BU, so even this close to Christmas break, I had gone home for the weekend. When I came back late Sunday night, Howie was stoned, holding my bottle of Jack (half empty) playing my stereo with Rubber Soul blasting out my speakers, dropping ashes from his toke on MY carpet. We were on the third floor, but I opened the shutters and threw up the sash and tossed him out the window, merry fuckin' Christmas, Howsterina.

Thus the saga of The Defenestration of Howie. My BFF Joey, who lived next door, coined the term after the incident that started the 30 years war (pretty clever for an engineer). Joey did remind me that Howie was only a lacrosse player, not a gymnast, and therefore could not fly. My only comment was that I was almost sure there were bushes or snow banks down there to break his fall. Probably.

So, today we remember the Defenestration of Prague, of Ermintrude Inch, and of Howie of the PFCs.


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