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Story-Big Changes

Updated on May 9, 2009
 my drawing back in 1960's in watercolors
my drawing back in 1960's in watercolors
 an acrylic pinting by me
an acrylic pinting by me
 my first waterfcolor rose 1960's
my first waterfcolor rose 1960's
 an pair of antique S/P shakers
an pair of antique S/P shakers
  dad's suitcase (similar)
dad's suitcase (similar)
 my uncle's car(like it)not actual car
my uncle's car(like it)not actual car
 another watercolor by me :O)
another watercolor by me :O)

It just can't be my fault...

I try so hard to be a good girl...but I heard my daddy say to my mommy...those kids drive me crazy...you pay more attention to them then you do to me. Mommy yelled at him "Well you drink way too much " He said "if I want to drink I will...I work hard everyday at the ship yard and you know it...if I want to stop for a drink I see no reason not to. I only go there on payday"

I see him drinking 7-up with lemon in it and I see him drink milk...they don't seem too bad to me...We also have orange juice. So I am wondering what I did to make them so angry and why me and my sister make my daddy feel crazy?

We don't see much of him, but on the week-ends we have a lot of fun, even if he does sleep a lot, he still plays with us and helps us take a bath...maybe that's it ? The other night we let the water overflow over the edge of the bathtub and it flooded out to the hall floor. He left us alone in there and we couldn't shut it off and he said he would be right back...it did make my mommy upset though.

Or maybe it's because me and my sister fight sometimes, or maybe because we don't like peas and hide them under our plates, or maybe cause we forget to wash our hands, and sometimes we fuss when we have to brush our teeth...I am just afraid when they fight...it scares me and makes me feel sad.

Or maybe it's cause our uncle comes over a lot more then he used to. He doesn't work for our country as a soldier anymore...I guess he is still upset about his friend going to Heaven cause mommy hugs him a lot...but he is a nice man and we like him a whole bunch. I just don't know what is wrong, but I have a feeling something is very bad around here.

When daddy came home tonight he said he was packing his bags and going back to ND to the farm...I guess he needs a vacation for himself? My sister and I cried cause we will miss him, but mommy didn't seem too upset. I think she is glad he will be gone for a while. I wonder what he will do there? Maybe it is Corn Harvest time again and they need him to help? I just don't know ?

It has been a very long time I think, since my daddy went back to the farm and mommy isn't feeling very well, she vomits in the morning, and tries to hide it but me and my sister hear her cause the bathroom is right next to our bedroom...I hope she is gonna be ok.

Our uncle helps her and us a lot cause daddy is gone, so that is nice. He almost seems like a daddy. He takes us to the park and he buys us neat toys and he even can BBQ pretty good..He bought a car now, but I don't really know where his work is since he isn't a soldier anymore. On Sundays we go for a drive after church and he always buys us a frosty ( that is a ice cream cone that is soft) and we get to eat it in the car while we all drive around.

He even has a radio in his car and he plays western music for us...it seems funny cause he is always putting his arm out the window and pointing up or down and sometimes just straight out. But I think he knows what he is doing. He likes to drive fast and it makes me afraid . Once even a policeman stopped him and gave him something called a citation/ticket, cause he was driving too fast. So now I always worry about that, I don't like it when he goes really fast.

The other day I saw mommy tearing up all the pictures she took of my daddy and she was crying. I didn't bother her cause she seemed to want to be alone and when my uncle came in he hugged her and she seemed better. I miss daddy very much and am wondering if he is really going to come back. My heart is hurting and I say my prayers every night and ask God to bless my daddy and take good care of him. Me and my sister always look in the mailbox for a card or a letter from our daddy but so far we haven't gotten anything?

I say "Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food we eat, thank you for the birds that sing, thank you God for everything. And God Bless mommy and daddy and my sister and my uncle and even all the people I don't know...good night Jesus"

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    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Hey sweetie...nice to hear from you on here....Wish I could buy you one......:O) Hugs and Love and Kisses...MOM

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      cynthia 8 years ago

      hi mom. this is great. i wish my computer didnt take so long to go from page to page though

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Dotti 1.  Yes my sweet one as the years fly by and we get a bit wiser? or we learn more about all the un-spoken trueth from our parent's past, are we able to put the puzzle pieces together...and believe me there are a few...some are still missing and as my mom gets worse each day they will be forever lost...:O( and thanks for mentioning my attempt at watercolors...G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Peggy....Thank you my dear and if it does help, even a bit, that would be nice. It is tough these days just as it was back then, even when I was raising my 3 children,we all make mistakes. :O) Hugs G-Ma

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Cris A...you are right it does sound like a diary, doesn't it? but I assure you at that age never even knew what a diary was...I am trying think in short segments like children do and sometimes until we are much older does the REAL picture become visible...

      I have seen the picture but am trying not to reveal it...I have no idea why I started this either? Just woke one morning with it all in my head, trying to get out sooo here I am...Lurve you Moreee...G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

      Another good thing about getting older is you learn it wasn't your fault.  I love your writing G-Ma, it is so heartfelt.  Thanks for sharing. :) And your artwork is lovely, thanks for showing. :) Hugs.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      This is so poignant a story. We all like happy endings, but sometimes they are simply not to be. What you are sharing may help others with respect to how they act around children in particular. Hugs.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      The stories you've shared thus far, through the little girl's eyes, have been like reading a diary - sort of like Anne Frank's. The meat is not on the bones but you still get to chew on it in your mind! Lurve ya for sharing this :D

      Btw, I hope you're not feeling worn out now :D

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Gifted G-Ma...you are so right...and so I think in my stories I am trying to enlighten them, but they may never read these???? We get so wise when we get to the GOLDEN YEARS huh?...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Tatjana...my dear sweet woman, you are so right on..."It is part of female nature, with children or without them". I love you for that...and Thank YOU for such a nice comment...G-Ma :O) Hugs big time

    • GiftedGrandma profile image

      GiftedGrandma 8 years ago from USA

      Nice hub...if only adults could see through childrens eyes what their actions do before it is to late

    • Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

      Tatjana-Mihaela 8 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

      Well, G-Ma, I do not have my children in this life...and will not have. But I have "mother´s feelings" towards the other people, children, animals... It is part of female nature, with children or without them. Thank you, and very happy Mother´s Day to you, and thank you for your love for all of us!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well 'GT'.... Thank you for commenting and yes it is tough for the children and though they don't totally understand it all they get the vibes from their parents, to later in life perhaps figure it all out...we grow from what we know...Have a great day...Love ya G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      I have to agree with laughing mom's comment, children see things literally and we read the story in between the lines. there is plenty of story going on here.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      LM...thanks Angel and you have a great day ok? Love ya moreee :O) Hugs

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 8 years ago

      Children are such literal creatures. You captured that perfectly, G-Ma!

      Happy Mother's Day to you! Love ya'!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Tatjana...I am assuming you are a Mother...from your words of wisdom in your hubs, but am not sure ? Hugs :O)

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Tatjana...well actually most of this is from my childhood, a few things aren't to the real point (sighs G-Ma), but thanks for liking my attempt @ art work...like I said b4 Jack of all trades and Master of none...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ...G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      cindy...ooops, sorry to open any wounds, but was just wanting parents to THINK carefully and we need to know (i guess) nothing lasts forever (even if you think it should) and certainly God won't ask us to do anything He knows we can't handle...Thanks for commenting and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY my dear...G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

      Tatjana-Mihaela 8 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

      G-Ma, is this your story from your childhood? Some pains never disappear, maybe they are here just to teach others about appropriate behaviour towards children.

      Your Hub is so touching...and I like your paintings very, very much.

      A lots of love and hugs.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      G-ma, reminds me of when I was a child and arrived home from a day out with my aunt, to find my mom crying, all our things on the front lawn and another woman moved into the house with my stepdad.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Tom...I think they feel the moods/anxieties and anger just don't understand exactly what it is caused from?...Thanks for commenting :O) Hugs

      CW...You bet I will and same goes for you..:O) Hugs

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 8 years ago from Washington, USA

      Thanks G-Ma we all can pray and hope he is doing well. I hope you will inform me whenever you hear about Ashwin. He is such a polite gentleman with very good manners.

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      Thanks for reminding us that kids have big ears and we should watch what we say. Sometimes, as a kid, things just don't seem to make sense. Thing is, that's because they really don't make sense.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      YOU YOU YOU...are too sweet....:O) Hugs

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      LAmatadora 8 years ago

      thats a good one....I like the way you say it..I think you don't give yourself enough credit G-ma!! You are great.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Awww.Thanks angel I was just reading your last hub...all i can say is I am a jack of all trades, and the Master of none, but I try...God Bless...G-Ma :O) Hugs

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      LAmatadora 8 years ago

      Life can be so confusing looking at it from a childs eyes. They don't have a full understanding of whats going on around them...I loved this hub and your paintings too! You have a well rounded artistic side G-ma! Writing and painting....I am impressed!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Feline...aww once again I "Thank you"...I guess all my years have taught me some things...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY my sweet lady..G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      CW..Thank you and yes it is difficult for them to understand the adult troubles...they are so young and little angels, but they sense when there is trouble, they know their parents as well (maybe better) then the parents know their children...

      And I have sent many many e-mails to Ashwin and not one answer...I pray daily for him. It is hard when you make friends here but can't really keep in touch, we never did exchange cell numbers.

      Thank you for your comment and also your concern ...Love you dear one...G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Gypsy..Thank you sweetie...Hugs :O) G-Ma

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image
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      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      John Z...ouch...Life can be hard for the children..thanks for coming by G-Ma :O) Hugs

    • John Z profile image

      John Z 8 years ago from Midwest

      close to home g ma, close to home. Well done

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 8 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      Love your artwork and I enjoyed the hub too. Thnx

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 8 years ago from Washington, USA

      It must be really confusing for a child to understand so many things happening around them and sometimes even end up blaming themselves.

      Btw any news about Ashwin? I am also getting concerned with a such long break and hope the operation went smoothly. Have a great weekend.

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      Feline Prophet 8 years ago

      G-Ma you've done it again! You do have a talent for seeing the world through a child's impressionable eyes. :)