It just can't be my fault...
I try so hard to be a good girl...but I heard my daddy say to my mommy...those kids drive me crazy...you pay more attention to them then you do to me. Mommy yelled at him "Well you drink way too much " He said "if I want to drink I will...I work hard everyday at the ship yard and you know it...if I want to stop for a drink I see no reason not to. I only go there on payday"
I see him drinking 7-up with lemon in it and I see him drink milk...they don't seem too bad to me...We also have orange juice. So I am wondering what I did to make them so angry and why me and my sister make my daddy feel crazy?
We don't see much of him, but on the week-ends we have a lot of fun, even if he does sleep a lot, he still plays with us and helps us take a bath...maybe that's it ? The other night we let the water overflow over the edge of the bathtub and it flooded out to the hall floor. He left us alone in there and we couldn't shut it off and he said he would be right back...it did make my mommy upset though.
Or maybe it's because me and my sister fight sometimes, or maybe because we don't like peas and hide them under our plates, or maybe cause we forget to wash our hands, and sometimes we fuss when we have to brush our teeth...I am just afraid when they fight...it scares me and makes me feel sad.
Or maybe it's cause our uncle comes over a lot more then he used to. He doesn't work for our country as a soldier anymore...I guess he is still upset about his friend going to Heaven cause mommy hugs him a lot...but he is a nice man and we like him a whole bunch. I just don't know what is wrong, but I have a feeling something is very bad around here.
When daddy came home tonight he said he was packing his bags and going back to ND to the farm...I guess he needs a vacation for himself? My sister and I cried cause we will miss him, but mommy didn't seem too upset. I think she is glad he will be gone for a while. I wonder what he will do there? Maybe it is Corn Harvest time again and they need him to help? I just don't know ?
It has been a very long time I think, since my daddy went back to the farm and mommy isn't feeling very well, she vomits in the morning, and tries to hide it but me and my sister hear her cause the bathroom is right next to our bedroom...I hope she is gonna be ok.
Our uncle helps her and us a lot cause daddy is gone, so that is nice. He almost seems like a daddy. He takes us to the park and he buys us neat toys and he even can BBQ pretty good..He bought a car now, but I don't really know where his work is since he isn't a soldier anymore. On Sundays we go for a drive after church and he always buys us a frosty ( that is a ice cream cone that is soft) and we get to eat it in the car while we all drive around.
He even has a radio in his car and he plays western music for us...it seems funny cause he is always putting his arm out the window and pointing up or down and sometimes just straight out. But I think he knows what he is doing. He likes to drive fast and it makes me afraid . Once even a policeman stopped him and gave him something called a citation/ticket, cause he was driving too fast. So now I always worry about that, I don't like it when he goes really fast.
The other day I saw mommy tearing up all the pictures she took of my daddy and she was crying. I didn't bother her cause she seemed to want to be alone and when my uncle came in he hugged her and she seemed better. I miss daddy very much and am wondering if he is really going to come back. My heart is hurting and I say my prayers every night and ask God to bless my daddy and take good care of him. Me and my sister always look in the mailbox for a card or a letter from our daddy but so far we haven't gotten anything?
I say "Thank you for the world so sweet, thank you for the food we eat, thank you for the birds that sing, thank you God for everything. And God Bless mommy and daddy and my sister and my uncle and even all the people I don't know...good night Jesus"