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Strip the Light Fandango for Another Birthday

Updated on April 24, 2014



My friends took me out to a male review,

I expected Les Girls or someone I knew,


A virile Adonis confirmed my worst fears

Unveiling parts of anatomy I hadn’t seen in years,

(Well almost)


One hero, juggling swords, made me feel squeamish,

I’m devouring my meal, he’s endangering his species,


And eating fire, I believe, is a dangerous thing,

When all you are wearing, is one piece of string.


Disrobing in public - would make mothers despair,

(Is that why they knitted them warmers to wear?)


When he danced on the table, I sensed mass hysteria,

But all I could distinguish was one more posterior.


Gyration, simulation, a statuesque pose,

What a very strange place to be wearing a rose,

(Presumably dethorned)


Gymnastics, acrobatics, painful self-assurance,

I hope they are covered by accident insurance…


I wonder if it’s indicative of my age

I seem to have lost the urge to rage,


While red blooded males are to be admired

By 11 o’clock I was feeling quite tired,

If they held a raffle and I was the winner

I’d take Hercules home and cook him a dinner,


There’s a distinct lack of variation in the male sex,

I hasten to add – I’d forgotten my SPECS.



Other hubs from - Women of Certain Ages -

Nice One Cleo or Don't be an Asp

The Lament of Anne Hathaway

View from the Bridge - a poem remembering Princess Diana

One Day in July - poem for my mother

Burial Ban - poem for Anna

Her Gift - a short poem

A Compassionate King - a brief moment poem




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    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Travmaj - I love it! I could see all the antics taking place and I laughed and laughed, :) Truth be told, if I took him home at 11:00, I would probably just warm up leftovers. This is great. :) Theresa

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Cool, Travmaj, and I love the punch at the end!!

    • mizjo profile image

      mizjo 3 years ago from New York City, NY

      You mean to say, all that energy spent to impress was wasted, because you forgot your SPECS?? Ha ha, you'll have to go again!

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      A good one which I enjoyed very much. I love the punch line. It was almost as if I were sitting next to you. :)

    • janetwrites profile image

      Janet Giessl 3 years ago from Georgia country

      That's awesome. I really enjoyed this. I had a good laugh. :-)

    • liesl5858 profile image

      Linda Bryen 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi! Travmaj, nice to see you back. You are such a good writer. I enjoyed reading your poem. I think it's great to have you back.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Thank you Theresa - glad you connected with the humour of it all. Left overs at eleven - perfect! And he'd have to wait until after the hubs were written. LOL

      Maureen

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 3 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Voted up and funny- also like your priorities - finish those hubs

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Enjoyed this poem very much - up-beat and to the point, it hit my funny-bone!

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Thanks Michelle, I have to say it was fun to write...Maureen

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      mizio - thank you so much, your comment made me laugh - I don't think a sequel is on the agenda.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Flourish - thanks for the positive comment, glad you enjoyed the show!

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Hi liesl - glad you enjoyed this poem and yes, it is good to be back. Had health problems. I hadn't realised how much I missed the hubs. Hope you are well, Maureen

    • liesl5858 profile image

      Linda Bryen 3 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi! Maureen, I did miss you, sorry to hear about your health problems, I do hope you are much better now.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      sweethearts2 - thanks for commenting and having fun with it, conjures up many scenarios.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      BlossomSB - thanks for seeing the funny side, tongue in cheek and much imagination.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      janetwrites - Hello again, pleased you had fun with this, it's certainly what I intended. Thanks again.

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 3 years ago

      Great to see you back here again Maj....this is a really enjoyable and funny read, I'm sorry to hear you haven't been too well recently. I hope you are back on the road to recovery, and will be seeing more of you again on here soon. Best wishes from the valley:-))

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Thanks Valley, came back with a bit of humour. Thanks for the good wishes. Hope to be posting again soon. By the way - how green is my valley in spring time? I can only imagine. And how good are my soccer team (clarets) Just saying.. Cheers and best,

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 3 years ago

      The Spring colours are definitely here in the valley Maj, with a lot more claret and blue this year! What a great achievement, you must be very proud of them.(my fingers are crossed for us) :-))

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Valley, I like that - claret and blue trees, no doubt at all. Go Wigan A (I think I recall that's your team) Cheers and best -

    • profile image

      Kay Readdy 3 years ago

      Would be the opposite for me - I see better without my specs! (And must say the rage is still there, just hidden behind the flapping flesh - there is life in the old girl yet - I hope.)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. This was quite amusing. Made me picture a group of girls in their eighties taking the birthday girl to see a male strip show. lol

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 3 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      So funny, humorous read to lighten up the day a little! Every line was amusing, nice job. :)

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Hello Kay, good to see you here - that would be a fun look, taking of the specs!

      Nice to know you are still raging, yes, make the most of every moment. The birthdays keep coming - best wishes...

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Gypsy, thank you, yes, what you pictured was exactly what I had in mind.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      BNadyn - so pleased you saw the fun in this. Sometimes life is just so serious and a little humour doesn't go astray.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Loved this travmaj, one of the funniest hubs/poems I have read in ages. Voted up, up and away.

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Jodah - thanks for the comments and votes - much appreciated. Glad it appealed and made you smile. Cheers...

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      LOL! brilliant travmaj ! I could see it all unfolding!! if you get my point! Just remember next time to take those specs! funny stuff!

    • truthfornow profile image

      truthfornow 3 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Thanks for the funny read to brighten my day!

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Nell - thanks for the fun - unfolding indeed! I did get the point! And I'm still smiling. Thanks heaps -

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      truthfornow - happy to brighten your day, I'm most happy that all the comments - like yours - saw the humour too. Thanks so much...

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Oh my! This is just hilarious and bravo on such creative writing. I think I will laugh myself to sleep. Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and will share for sure. And thanks so much for the follow!

    • profile image

      Nola Bartak 3 years ago

      You funny woman!

    • profile image

      Jujude 3 years ago

      Loved your Fandango, TravMaj. It's right up there with the pink knickers and black fringe!! Had a good laugh. Thanks.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      Well, even without your specs, you certainly saw a lot!! Thanks for the giggle here on a Monday morning!

      Voted UP, etc.etc

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      vocalcoach - thanks for enjoying and seeing the scene with such humour. Certainly what I hoped for - good to have laughter in life now and then. Thanks again

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Thanks Nolita - good fun!

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Jujude - thanks, the fun continues. Cheers...

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Mary - whoops, caught out I fear! Your comment made me laugh. I believe I've had more fun reading the comments than writing this. Regards...

    • Torrs13 profile image

      Tori Canonge 2 years ago from California

      Too funny!!! I got a good chuckle reading this :-)

    • travmaj profile image
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      travmaj 2 years ago from australia

      Torrs13 - so glad you enjoyed a laugh with this birthday fun - best to you...

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