ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Strip the Light Fandango for Another Birthday

Updated on April 24, 2014



My friends took me out to a male review,

I expected Les Girls or someone I knew,


A virile Adonis confirmed my worst fears

Unveiling parts of anatomy I hadn’t seen in years,

(Well almost)


One hero, juggling swords, made me feel squeamish,

I’m devouring my meal, he’s endangering his species,


And eating fire, I believe, is a dangerous thing,

When all you are wearing, is one piece of string.


Disrobing in public - would make mothers despair,

(Is that why they knitted them warmers to wear?)


When he danced on the table, I sensed mass hysteria,

But all I could distinguish was one more posterior.


Gyration, simulation, a statuesque pose,

What a very strange place to be wearing a rose,

(Presumably dethorned)


Gymnastics, acrobatics, painful self-assurance,

I hope they are covered by accident insurance…


I wonder if it’s indicative of my age

I seem to have lost the urge to rage,


While red blooded males are to be admired

By 11 o’clock I was feeling quite tired,

If they held a raffle and I was the winner

I’d take Hercules home and cook him a dinner,


There’s a distinct lack of variation in the male sex,

I hasten to add – I’d forgotten my SPECS.



Other hubs from - Women of Certain Ages -

Nice One Cleo or Don't be an Asp

The Lament of Anne Hathaway

View from the Bridge - a poem remembering Princess Diana

One Day in July - poem for my mother

Burial Ban - poem for Anna

Her Gift - a short poem

A Compassionate King - a brief moment poem




Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Torrs13 - so glad you enjoyed a laugh with this birthday fun - best to you...

    • Torrs13 profile image

      Tori Canonge 

      4 years ago from North Carolina

      Too funny!!! I got a good chuckle reading this :-)

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Mary - whoops, caught out I fear! Your comment made me laugh. I believe I've had more fun reading the comments than writing this. Regards...

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Jujude - thanks, the fun continues. Cheers...

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Thanks Nolita - good fun!

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      vocalcoach - thanks for enjoying and seeing the scene with such humour. Certainly what I hoped for - good to have laughter in life now and then. Thanks again

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      4 years ago from Florida

      Well, even without your specs, you certainly saw a lot!! Thanks for the giggle here on a Monday morning!

      Voted UP, etc.etc

    • profile image

      Jujude 

      4 years ago

      Loved your Fandango, TravMaj. It's right up there with the pink knickers and black fringe!! Had a good laugh. Thanks.

    • profile image

      Nola Bartak 

      4 years ago

      You funny woman!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      4 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      Oh my! This is just hilarious and bravo on such creative writing. I think I will laugh myself to sleep. Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and will share for sure. And thanks so much for the follow!

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      truthfornow - happy to brighten your day, I'm most happy that all the comments - like yours - saw the humour too. Thanks so much...

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Nell - thanks for the fun - unfolding indeed! I did get the point! And I'm still smiling. Thanks heaps -

    • truthfornow profile image

      truthfornow 

      4 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Thanks for the funny read to brighten my day!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      4 years ago from England

      LOL! brilliant travmaj ! I could see it all unfolding!! if you get my point! Just remember next time to take those specs! funny stuff!

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Jodah - thanks for the comments and votes - much appreciated. Glad it appealed and made you smile. Cheers...

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Loved this travmaj, one of the funniest hubs/poems I have read in ages. Voted up, up and away.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      BNadyn - so pleased you saw the fun in this. Sometimes life is just so serious and a little humour doesn't go astray.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Gypsy, thank you, yes, what you pictured was exactly what I had in mind.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Hello Kay, good to see you here - that would be a fun look, taking of the specs!

      Nice to know you are still raging, yes, make the most of every moment. The birthdays keep coming - best wishes...

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 

      4 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      So funny, humorous read to lighten up the day a little! Every line was amusing, nice job. :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and funny. This was quite amusing. Made me picture a group of girls in their eighties taking the birthday girl to see a male strip show. lol

    • profile image

      Kay Readdy 

      4 years ago

      Would be the opposite for me - I see better without my specs! (And must say the rage is still there, just hidden behind the flapping flesh - there is life in the old girl yet - I hope.)

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Valley, I like that - claret and blue trees, no doubt at all. Go Wigan A (I think I recall that's your team) Cheers and best -

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 

      4 years ago

      The Spring colours are definitely here in the valley Maj, with a lot more claret and blue this year! What a great achievement, you must be very proud of them.(my fingers are crossed for us) :-))

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Thanks Valley, came back with a bit of humour. Thanks for the good wishes. Hope to be posting again soon. By the way - how green is my valley in spring time? I can only imagine. And how good are my soccer team (clarets) Just saying.. Cheers and best,

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 

      4 years ago

      Great to see you back here again Maj....this is a really enjoyable and funny read, I'm sorry to hear you haven't been too well recently. I hope you are back on the road to recovery, and will be seeing more of you again on here soon. Best wishes from the valley:-))

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      janetwrites - Hello again, pleased you had fun with this, it's certainly what I intended. Thanks again.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      BlossomSB - thanks for seeing the funny side, tongue in cheek and much imagination.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      sweethearts2 - thanks for commenting and having fun with it, conjures up many scenarios.

    • liesl5858 profile image

      Linda Bryen 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi! Maureen, I did miss you, sorry to hear about your health problems, I do hope you are much better now.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Hi liesl - glad you enjoyed this poem and yes, it is good to be back. Had health problems. I hadn't realised how much I missed the hubs. Hope you are well, Maureen

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Flourish - thanks for the positive comment, glad you enjoyed the show!

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      mizio - thank you so much, your comment made me laugh - I don't think a sequel is on the agenda.

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Thanks Michelle, I have to say it was fun to write...Maureen

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Enjoyed this poem very much - up-beat and to the point, it hit my funny-bone!

    • sweethearts2 profile image

      sweethearts2 

      4 years ago from Northwest Indiana

      Voted up and funny- also like your priorities - finish those hubs

    • travmaj profile imageAUTHOR

      travmaj 

      4 years ago from australia

      Thank you Theresa - glad you connected with the humour of it all. Left overs at eleven - perfect! And he'd have to wait until after the hubs were written. LOL

      Maureen

    • liesl5858 profile image

      Linda Bryen 

      4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi! Travmaj, nice to see you back. You are such a good writer. I enjoyed reading your poem. I think it's great to have you back.

    • janetwrites profile image

      Janet Giessl 

      4 years ago from Georgia country

      That's awesome. I really enjoyed this. I had a good laugh. :-)

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 years ago from USA

      A good one which I enjoyed very much. I love the punch line. It was almost as if I were sitting next to you. :)

    • mizjo profile image

      mizjo 

      4 years ago from New York City, NY

      You mean to say, all that energy spent to impress was wasted, because you forgot your SPECS?? Ha ha, you'll have to go again!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 

      4 years ago from Singapore

      Cool, Travmaj, and I love the punch at the end!!

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 

      4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Travmaj - I love it! I could see all the antics taking place and I laughed and laughed, :) Truth be told, if I took him home at 11:00, I would probably just warm up leftovers. This is great. :) Theresa

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)