I walk tall, and proud along the golden sand,
and feel the cool waves above my feet,
You are there to see me through,
what has been a life of sadness, a life incomplete.
If only I knew how to look, were to start,
we could make up for all those years apart.
Tears that have been shed, cries out loud,
Dad why did you never love me? mum was too proud.
Mum said you left the day I was born,
she cried and wept her heart was torn.
I understand that you had a life, a family precious to you,
but why did you leave me, I have no clue?
I have tried so hard to understand,
I respect your privacy on one hand,
but on the other I am nameless, scared and have never forgotten you,
I only saw your face in a locket, with a strand of ginger hair,
so glorious and vibrant like I imagined you.
My nosiness only brought me heartache,
and a beating with a stick to make me black and blue.
Was I not beautiful, was I not vulnerable, did I not look like you,
Daddy even then I knew the smell of your touch.
Years have passed and great love I have know,
but my life has been empty, and many times alone.
The wind is blowing my hair on the dunes of life,
salt spray from the ocean so blue, reminds me that no where abounds,
is that loving sight of you.
No open arms to hold me high, no Christmas cards, or presents to hide,
I am a mother and a nana now, but all I ever wanted
was to hear those precious words,
loving daughter I am so proud of you.
The chances are that you have passed on,
and now in god my faith has gone,
I do not have a grave to grieve, daddy why did you ever leave?
Summer dreams are all I have,
sometimes I think I can hear your voice, a hand brushing my hair
and a kind face to share all my fears, all my tears.
The sunlight kisses my cheeks, and I wish it was your finger tips.
My dad Stan, replaced you, the daddy that I never knew.
One day we will meet in that summers sky,
and the first thing I will ask you is why?
Five score years and four have passed,
I wont waste more time thinking of you, you are in my past.