THE MENTAL ABUSE
She closed the door, locked it, threw her bag aside and sat on bed. It was another tiering day at university and she just wanted to relax. Nothing but sleep! Angila lay on bed without even changing. She was half way through her sleep when she heard her father screaming once again. She got up and looked outside her room.
“I told you I can’t take you with me. Don’t you understand?” her father was yelling once again at her mother.
“Ok then no problem.” Her mother replied softly.
“You idiot! Why do I have to explain it every next day?” her father said it and she saw him going towards the main gate.
It was nothing new for Angila. She had been so used to it since her childhood. It was a part of her routine then. The only difference was that she didn’t cry anymore. She hadn’t had to lock the door and cry until it hurt because she had grown up now. She had learned to live without the love of her father. She knew exactly how it felt to be without the love of a close relationship even if they were around you. It was even more aching, much more afflicting than not having them around. Her father and mother had their differences but they were living together anyhow. Were they compromising? Yes…. No…. she doesn’t know actually. If yes, then why?
“Mom! Let’s come and have lunch.” Angila came out of her room. It was her teensy-weensy effort to sooth her mother. She was not good at words but she was perfect in her actions.
“I am not hungry, love.” Her mother turned around, hid her face from her daughter and wiped her tears. She didn’t want to show her turmoil to her daughter. She had always kept it to herself only.
“But it’s your favorite pasta mom. You would love it.” Angila pretended to be unnoticed of her tears.
“Ok. You’re very stubborn.” Her mom smiled and sat next to her. Both of them hid the most heartrending reality of their life. Both of them knew but they try not to talk about it.
She dressed up and went to meet her friend, Ethan. Ethan was his class-mate, handsome with broad shoulders; he was not lesser than a Hollywood actor. Angila had been mesmerized and hypnotized by both his benevolence and his demeanor. It was always relaxing for her to talk to him, to spend time with him. He was a form of blessing to her, a way out of her tensed emotions. He was a very good listener, which increased her affection for him.
“I haven’t studied for tomorrow’s test yet.” Angila tried her best not to talk about her tension. But it was always hard for her to hide it from him. Ethan was a fine instinctive and this talent got polished for her as their closeness grew.
“Oh! Why? I studied a bit though. It’s not so hard.” Ethan replied as if he hadn’t studied her face, her emotions.
“That’s great! How lengthy is the chapter?” Angila’s mood was coming towards normal. She had started to forget what happened an hour ago. That was the thing about him she never understood how!
“Not much. There is theory part and about ten numerical.” He kept talking, she kept de-stressing.
“I’ll start studying tonight.” She smiled at him.
“You know if you need any help, my number is always on for you.” He smiled back at her. He knew pretty well what was going on in her mind. She had told him about the differences between her parents. They had talked about it earlier a few times and they didn’t talk about it anymore. He had become her mind reader, her face translator and most importantly her best friend. But he kept thinking in his mind how could he take her out of such squalid situation. On the other hand, Ethan’s parents on the other hand were ideal partners. They loved each other so profoundly. They used to eat, walk and talk together. Ethan never saw his parents fighting or arguing. Apart from just love, they respected each other much more than any other person on earth. Ethan told Angila about the relationship of his parents once while talking about her situation. Angila was so happy listening to this.
That was the reason behind Ethan’s loving personality may be- she used to wonder!
“Hey! Sleeping?” Angila was lying in bed then when her phone beeped. She saw Ethan’s text appeared and her heart jumped towards her gorge. It always happened whenever she saw his name appeared anywhere.
“No. Just relaxing! What about you?” She sent a reply with a smiley face. She was smiling much more in real though.
“Same. I was just thinking something.” Ehtan got no courage to tell her this in person. He always took help from text messages.
“What?” Angila’s got curious.
“You were looking very beautiful today.” Ethan replied with two smiley faces. Angila’s heart was beating much faster now. She always loved such complements from him and that time she felt adrenaline increased in her blood.
“Thank you. And you always look handsome.” Angila had texted along with heart smiley then.
“I have important thing to talk to you about.” Ethan tried to speak out his mind. He failed.
“Yeah sure! Say.” Angila was confused now. But before they could proceed, she saw the same strident voices coming from her parent’s room. It was not always her father but her mother too. She wanted to ignore them but it was impossible for her to. It grew louder and louder like always. Ethan had replied her already. She couldn’t concentrate on her phone beep. She didn’t know when the message came. She was listening to them, unconsciously. She wasn’t sure about the reason of their fight though, she never was. Angila’s phone beeped again, this time she felt the vibration. She rummaged through her bed. She had forgotten where she put it after replying him last.
“Are you asleep?” She found her phone right next to her pillow. She read his text.
“Oh! No. Just went to drink some water, sorry.” She replied promptly, came back towards the conversation. She read his previous text quickly. He had asked about her future plans. He had asked her if she had a boyfriend she hadn’t told him about. He was her best friend, and he knew that, but he just wanted to be sure.
“Well! Regarding my future plans, I am focusing on my graduation only right now.
Hahaha boyfriend! Nah not now! I had once though, when I was a teenager. Stupid me!” She was delighted by his questions. Ethan was surprised on her pleasant replies. He was expecting her to be nervous, if not nervous then at least reluctant. But she wasn’t at all. Angila saw it coming.
Ethan proposed her within the month that followed and she had accepted, delightfully. Her world was about to change then. She had started preparing and making plans for her future life. They were going to be married within six months. They were just waiting for their final graduation exams.
I am going to work after marriage. I think Ethan will understand this. And yes! We will spend our honeymoon in San Francisco. And I am going to decorate our home by my own- She kept planning in her mind. All of her dreams were about to come true.
She was going to be married and the thought of it made her father emotional. An overwhelming sentiment was settling in his heart. She had lived in his house for twenty-four years and she was leaving then. He wanted to tell her that he had loved her. May be he had forgotten to show due to the relationship with his wife but it was no excuse to give to her, he knew pretty well. He felt extreme remorse, guilt and pain altogether. He wanted redemption of his actions, ignorance and neglect but he couldn’t find any. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry. Suddenly he wished if time could go back and he could give her the love she deserved but that’s the thing about time, it goes and never comes back! He wasn’t a bad man but sometimes good people do bad things. Those things which are unforgiving, irremissible! Angila’s mother on the other hand was experiencing a bittersweet feeling. She prayed a lot for her.
Their wedding ceremony was held in a church, with limited number of guests invited. She wore a beautiful white dress and she looked breathtakingly amazing that day. She was coming towards Ethan who was standing write in front of altar. The cessation of expression was impossible for Ethan. “You look beautiful Angila.” He told her as soon as she came to him. A deep exchange of glance took place between them and then they smiled.
“Do you, Ethan, agree that all times in this marriage, you will accept this woman as your lawful wife?” Pope eyed towards Ethan. All three of them were standing obediently in front of altar.
“I do.” Ethan answered, his eyes steady on Angila, his face smiling.
“Do you, Angila, agree that all times in this marriage, you will accept this man as your lawful husband?” pope asked Angila then.
“I do.” Angila responded with a broad and ravishing smile.
Angila’s parents were standing together in crowd. His father was smiling but he was still in pain. He thought about talking to Angila once again. But he didn’t, it wouldn’t do any good. He feared this remorse may last forever in his heart. She was delicate and he had treated her frigidly. He wanted to start a new life all over again in which he could keep his personal issues away from his only child. In which he could give her what she deserved, apart from just money. You can buy anything later in life with money except love. She was going to buy everything with her own money then. What she was going to lack forever was a love of her father which no one could fulfill. Ethan was going to love her so much but even he couldn’t fill that space which was immortal.