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THE ROMANCE OF AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Updated on March 17, 2014


I just read an article in hubpages that speaks of the drabness and in a way, perversity of arranged marriages, but I beg to differ. The article was written by a native Indian who says that such marriages are based on lust, it has no security and that only in some cases, the relationship may mature into deep affection or love over time. He says there is no romance or fairy tale setting in such a marriage. I for one have always been fascinated and been in love with the very idea, perhaps, it is due to my Indian Christian background or seeing the lives of my grandparents and parents or simply inherent, I do not know. Though mine may not end up so, I have been very much inspired to write an article about the romance of an arranged marriage.

Both men and women like mystery, elusiveness and elegance when it comes to love, but not too much, no one wants to end up marrying a serial killer of a psycho. Arranged marriages are mostly between relative, but not too close like cousins, distant relatives. The advantage of the arranged marriages and the main romance behind them are snooping and overly exuberant match makers, mostly women who love to join people in marriage. If a parent says they are in search of a bride or a groom, these good souls would take it upon themselves with such great resolve and fascination to bring about the eternal bonding of two people before His love. Thanks to them, the news gets published and becomes a very exciting topic at all sorts of festive occasions and thus renews and revives blood relations as the quest is circulated among inquisitive females. Recently, my cousin got engaged in an arranged marriage and I know the bustle that accompanied this incident, she is now a princess, a very sought after, eagerly followed person, which woman would not like to be pampered thus. Moreover there is binding security here, turns out the fellow, whom she had never before seen in her life is a distant relation and the two families and those in between are now on very good terms.

Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejedice has always been a very eligible groom, has been enthralling for many because of the dramatic change in him, it was not a very sordid romance. Wooing, flattering, courting for decades and finally marrying, there was so much drama involved, so much mystery. In arranged marriage, every man is a Darcy, you do not know his character, his likes and dislikes but you just know he likes you, maybe it’s just me but isn’t it the greatest compliment to a woman that a man falls in love with her and is ready to spend his eternity just by seeing her once, how delighted would that make you feel.

Of course, coming to the material advantages, both the groom and the bride, be they, working or not, do not have to spend a penny and the wedding is carried out with such show, pomp and ceremony, call me vain, but I love it, I think most people do too. If you have little cousins or sisters, your partner would occupy their whole undivided and enchanted attention. My cousins when they were about 5 to 8, would sneak around at the most improbable places to catch sight of the new bride, my mom! Though it seems nosy, it’s quite lovely to be someone’s hero or heroine. They are simply awed and are in throes of admiration with you. Your parents are satisfied even if you have always been a black sheep and gone your own way. If you let them decide your partner, it makes them feel they are a part of your life.

And both of you would go to any length to please your partner because you do not know anything about them, it’s just as God made Eve for Adam, you are made for each other because you don’t know any other, you also do not know what you are missing! ;) Eventually, as I witness in many cases of all my relatives, the initial animation would certainly deepen into love because it has been approved by so many. Anyway, this is just my opinion and may be impractical and appear as ranting, but I thought I would give it a go, one of my first articles after such a long time. Have a good day!

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    • sharonchristy profile image
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      Sharon Christy 5 years ago from India

      thank you molly meadows! I understand this is hard for you to comprehend but yes, some things are the same everywhere! Glad you can relate! Thanks for commenting!

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

      Sharon, I can't say I'd like this for myself, but you paint such a warm picture of a family wedding that I have to believe you when you say that for yours, it worked out.

      And I laughed out loud when I read "Your parents are satisfied even if you have always been a black sheep and gone your own way." Some things are the same everywhere! :-)

    • sharonchristy profile image
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      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      So glad you found it interesting Gypsy Rose Lee. Most wouldn't understand if they weren't brought up to it.... personally.... I think as long as our Lord stands by and approves the union of two coming together in his grace towards his love.... they are made for each other! Thank you so much for commenting and leaving behind such lovely words! Have a good day! :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 6 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and interesting. I'm not sure what to think I know I wouldn't want to have an arranged marriage but you have made an good point and for some it may even work out for the best. Thanks for sharing.

    • sharonchristy profile image
      Author

      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      You are absolutely right JKenny, a relationship not based on love as well as attraction is always inconsistent and egoistic. Thank you for your comments, wish all valuable and grand traditions do not fade away.... Wishing you good morning, Christy! :)

    • sharonchristy profile image
      Author

      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      Thank you faith reaper!

    • sharonchristy profile image
      Author

      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      Thank you faith reaper!

    • profile image

      Faith Reaper 6 years ago

      sharonchristy, this is a very interesting perspective.

    • JKenny profile image

      James Kenny 6 years ago from Birmingham, England

      Very interesting hub, Sharon. We had arranged marriage of a sort in Britain, as you well know. Even as recently as my granddad's generation, it was customary for a man who liked a girl to seek approval from her parents before being allowed to court her. Sadly, this honourable tradition has been lost, and many relationships nowadays in Britain are based purely on lust, and often end up breaking down.

    • sharonchristy profile image
      Author

      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      Oh.. I am very sorry aviannovice!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      There is more to the story, but most people would not understand.

    • sharonchristy profile image
      Author

      Sharon Christy 6 years ago from India

      It's just a matter of personal tastes, I think aviannovice. I just meant to say there is nothing wrong in an arranged marriage as long as you like the other person, that's the whole point of marriage, right? Celebrating love, just wanted to give my opinion. Anyway, thank you for commenting and sharing something instructive with me. I feel sorry for her, do tell her I wish her well!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I have a friend in Bangladesh who is wed to someone 20 years her senior. She has not been happy for quite some time and has confided in me. Her screen name is "???inchains." She is very well off, but has deep emptiness within. There is nothing that she can do. She is a Moslem and family comes first...

      And she never was romanced, doesn't know the first thing about getting flowers for no reason, that loving note on the bathroom mirror, a piece of beautiful jewelry hidden in the freezer...

      However, I do not wish to say that this is totally wrong, but people do need to experience life a bit before being shuttled off to the alter, to "find oneself," if you will...

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