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Updated on March 5, 2012

By: Wayne Brown


This world is full of pesky varmints which bring one fright

They’ll make you pull your hair and stay up late at night

But some of the worst critters that can enter into your sight

Are those pesky little rats, lawyers, skunks, and termites


Rats are big and ugly, gray long-tailed furry beasts

Stealing into your house and on your stuff to feast

Little vermin and one of the most unpleasing sights

Just like those little pesky lawyers, skunks, and termites


Skunks are furry innocent-looking black and white critters

They multiply like rabbits and are usually born in litters

And when they unleash that stink; it’s a permanent delight

Just like those little pesky rats, lawyers, and termites


Termites are stealthy little creatures burrowing in the house

They’ll eat out all the wood planks; do it quiet as a mouse

But you’ll see where they are when they eat through the foyers

Then it’s time to dispose of them like the rats, skunks, and lawyers


Lawyers are a hardy breed counted as many needed by few

Guess they keep them around for there are things a rat won’t do

Use his services just a little bit and his bill will be out of sight

No wonder he is among the ranks of the rats, skunks, and termites


So keep your eyes peeled America, these critters are all around

You cannot avoid their contact for they live in every town

Aim well; make your first shot count when they are in your sights

Those pesky little critters; rats, skunks, lawyers, and termites.



© Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved.


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    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @lorlie6...Everybody loves a good lawyer joke...except maybe the lawyers! LOL! WB

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      As my mother used to say, "Hardeehaha!"

      She adored jokes like this since she was married to a lawyer!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @maven101...Well, I'll admit there is only so much you can say about rats, skunks, and termites. But mix a lawyer in with them and now you got yourself a vocabulary going that will raise poetry to an all time high! LOL! Thanks much, Larry! WB

    • maven101 profile image

      maven101 6 years ago from Northern Arizona

      Wayne...Your poetry flows like a sparkling creek snaking through Hubland...Very natural and free, with a thumping beat and rhythm...Voted up and funny...Thanks, Larry

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Amy Becherer....You are so right, too funny! LOL! Thanks for those fine words of encouragement! WB

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Well, the rats, skunks and termites have one redeeming quality absent in the lawyers...critters are never maliciously evil.

      Fantastic poetic quality...i love the beat and the meat of the matter.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Radioguy...I guess I won't be going to law school if they require a background check! LOL! Thanks much! WB

    • Radioguy profile image

      Radioguy 6 years ago from Maine

      Good stuff and quite the collection of Crispy Critters!

      And I loved the video!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @Stan Fletcher...Glad you liked it! WB

      @mslizee...You are so right about you are starting to grasp the conception of "infestation"! LOL! WB

      @Cardisa...Glad that it was that much fun for you! Hope you aren't planning a career in law! LOL! WB

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 6 years ago from Jamaica

      Wow, I don't know what to say. I could hardly sit still while reading anxious to see the next line. Loved it!

    • mslizzee profile image

      elizabeth 6 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

      Arn't most of our congressmen and congresswomen lawyers????? That explains a lot.

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 6 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Hilarious, dude! A great read.

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @breakfastpop...What about all those lawyers in Washington, Poppy...they don't scare you just a little bit??? LOL! WB

      @drbj...The hate mail will be rolling in soon, Doc. It's too much to hope for that lawyers would not be here on the Hub. I'll probably have to move into that den of skunks out back to avoid harm! LOL! WB

      @Truckstop Sally...Yes, this rant was set off by that Hub. I initially thought of tossing it, then the "Lil' Stinker" came out in me and I thought "what the hell!" WB

      @Ghost32...Aw gee Fred, I found a tender spot with you...hope there were no tears shed for all the good memories these pests left with you. Are you still making payments??? LOL! WB

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      It's for the Marines, Sally.

      This is one of your best, Wayne--which is saying something. Probably shouldn't mention that I once seriously considered going to law school. Thankfully, the fever broke after about a week.

    • Truckstop Sally profile image

      Truckstop Sally 6 years ago

      Very funny . . . and in rhyme to boot! Saw this one coming from Rear Ended. Of course you know, there are a few good lawyers out there (think few good men commercials - is that for the army? navy?). Pity that a few bad apples have ruined the reputation for others.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      You are a marked man now, Wayne. I heard the ABA is out to get you. Ifn you see any hit men around, run the other way.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      I'm more afraid of skunks, rats and termites!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 6 years ago from Texas

      @dahoglund...Oh, DA...the government would be what Terminex would describe as "fully involved!" Thanks much! WB

      @mckbirdbks...LOL!...That's a good one! I can tell by my score there are lawyers here too! They're everywhere, everywhere! LOL! WB

      @Motown2Chitown...Yes, this was a backlash I suffered while writing the hub "Rear-Ended!". Thanks for the good words! WB

    • profile image

      Motown2Chitown 6 years ago

      Wayne, darlin', you really have to stop being so timid and reticent. Try telling us how you REALLY feel! ;-) THIS was great! Funny and up and...well, just great!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 6 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      I did not think a skunk, rat and termite could be insulted. I have been proven wrong, again.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 6 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      And they have in-filtered the government, I think.