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TODAY I CHOOSE TO BE FREE

Updated on October 29, 2011

 

Rising above pain is not easy

Our ego, pride trick us into pretending it’s breezy

Allowing our spirit to detach from it all

Takes faith-filled courage, because we will fall.

 

Events in the last 30 days seem so real, are but a mirage

Finding the core, an emotionally exhausting barrage

Wouldn’t it be easier to bury mistakes we’ve made?

Continue at 90 miles a minute through life, as if in a motorcade.


“Don’t analyze everything to a snit”

Voices heard, yet they are shouting from the pit

To risk being emotionally vulnerable

The worthy challenge toward light, is a test often feeling unbearable


We know we have felt this same way before

People and circumstances change, we begin to keep track of the score

It is not the first time we’ve been hurt

Cannot stop being aware of each, even with our face in the dirt.



Over and over the cycles repeat

Confronting them all, builds up the heat

Skipping even one can keep our blind spot from seeing the red flag

Could they really go back that far – to a simple game of tag?

 

Today I choose to be free

I saw the deepest fear in me

It had been controlling the decisions of my life

Over and over, repeating the same strife

 

I’d hung onto the false belief so tight

My subconscious Genie, making sure I was right

I’d accepted the job of protecting them

In a world filled with deceit and mayhem

 

Yet one by one they’re separated, lost

Determined to attain independence at all cost

Wallowing, threading through the pain and brine

I finally realized, their struggles are the same as mine.

 

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    • Smireles profile image

      Sandra Mireles 7 years ago from Texas

      This is a very real issue in the lives of many people. Very good.

    • profile image

      ralwus 7 years ago

      Oooh I like this. Yes parenting can be painful. At least this is what I think you are speaking of and how we must let them go at a certain time to learn as we have.

    • SEM Pro profile image
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      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you Smireles. Pain and illness are very real. Seeing those repeated threads, no matter who the players, give us the key to beliefs or issues we have to overcome - before they convince us to identify with the pain, rather than who we really are. Appreciate you coming by and your comment!

    • SEM Pro profile image
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      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Aloha ralwus - we can indeed learn much as parents can't we? You read my own issue and deepest fear perfectly. It was my job, but to stay in the role of protector indefinitely, is to dishonor both parent and child and inevitably diminish growth and freedom. No matter what we have to let go of, we know we have to long before we're willing to do so it seems. Very glad you liked it :)

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      In the last three stanzas you brought everything home, SEM Pro. Everything came full circle. Here is one of my favorites:

      Today I choose to be free

      I saw the deepest fear in me

      It had been controlling the decisions of my life

      Over and over, repeating the same strife

      It reminded me of samsara: the cycle of birth, death and rebirth in Buddhism. It makes perfect sense. It makes you all the more wise to point this out and in the world of "deceit and mayhem," it's best to be honest at all times. No one ever likes to be deceived, not even children! Empathy goes a long way, I've learned. I've always been told that I'd make a great parent one day...I hope I do!

      Thanks for this, SEM Pro!

    • emohealer profile image

      Sioux Ramos 7 years ago from South Carolina

      Very nice!!! to be free, to recognize the inner strife holding us back, to do something different, something new. To be free from me! Very beautifully written, thanks!

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you dohn. It does come from very real Buddhist beliefs. As our repeated issues cycle, coming to the core in order to let go. Your point is wonderfully reiterated - to be totally honest with ourselves is often the toughest, but the only path to empathy and understanding. You will make a GREAT dad, I have no doubt about it!!! Your inner joy will connect with them creating a bond stronger than love :)

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Always a pleasure to have you come by and comment emo! Yes, beyond parenting, it is the strife and pain that hold us back from the new - and better. We are not the roles and when we hold on so tight believing we are, doubt seeps in. The easiest way to ensure the next change will indeed be better, is to let go of the old - choosing to be free.

    • loua profile image

      loua 7 years ago from Elsewhere, visiting Earth ~ the segregated community planet

      SEM Pro, The balance is the equilibrium we seek unwittingly so we must continually refocus and notice the sameness of our futility, ergo the detachment of selflessness ~ letting go ... Love it... May I link to your site its a fine model of this meaningful perspective of balance...

    • SEM Pro profile image
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      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Links are always an honor loua! Thank you :)

    • IslandVoice profile image

      Sylvia Van Velzer 7 years ago from Hawaii

      I like how you begun by declaring a reality some of us find hard to accept, "Rising above pain is not easy

      Our ego, pride trick us into pretending it’s breezy

      Allowing our spirit to detach from it all

      Takes faith-filled courage, because we will fall". Such personal acknowlegement is key to being free. What a lovely poem. Love it!

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you so much IslandVoice! As another cherished kindred spirit of the ultimate joy of gratitude, it is so true. We can be grateful for all, even the pain as a guide to show us what we're hanging onto that's not working, for us or anyone in our lives. Sometimes it seems so strange that we hang on to those erroneous beliefs and pain, our egos making us think THAT is easier than admitting we were wrong. Aloha dear Lady!

    • k@ri profile image

      k@ri 7 years ago from Sunny Southern California

      Thank you for this beautiful poem! "Over and over the cycles repeat"... this line holds so much truth for me! The entire poem does, but this one tugs at my soul. Thank you for being here with us! :D

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Oh k@ri - you know how to tug lovingly at my soul! Thank you so much. What a wonderful thing to say :) As on one of yours - you're never alone in those feelings Darlin' - nor when you need a friend...

    • IslandVoice profile image

      Sylvia Van Velzer 7 years ago from Hawaii

      Aloha, more power and stay free!

    • profile image

      Laura 7 years ago

      I was so touched by this! Thank you for sharing-beautiful beautiful beautiful!!!!!!!

    • DynamicS profile image

      Sandria Green-Stewart 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      SEM Pro, this is a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing. Detachment is an idea that I am trying to practise more and more. I have a tendency to get too emotional, so I thank you for the clip fron Depak Chopra. There are no coincidences, only miracle or devine intervention.

      Thanks for sharing...

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Staying free is the challenge dear IslandVoice! I intend to do my best in each moment - each day :) Aloha

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you so much Laura! I very much appreciate you coming by and commenting! Hope to see you again :)

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Ahh my dear friend DynamicS :) I don't believe there is such a thing as "too" emotional. The difference is that we are not supposed to be that way, so it is frowned on, we get embarassed and once again, our ego steps in and we lose the lesson. For example, in business, we're not supposed to cry right - tears being the release of the process when we truly see, rather than anger or the suppression thereof, thus repeating it again in the future.

      I was in a sales meeting and one of our higher up bosses was visiting. He made an extremely condescending and abusive remark to me. I teared up, but knew, he couldn't have been the source that bothered me so much (who the heck was he right). Everyone was embarassed for me, but I recognized my button and let it flow - busting through past abuse and the emotionally traumatic pain I'd been holding onto. After the meeting, I went to him to thank him for being the divine intervention you speak of. He respected me tremendously and I lasted longer in that job than any of the others at the table (not to mention earning 3x the commission of the others because I'd busted through, they were stuck in "supposed to not" and ego blind spots)

      Be you dear one - and see the thread of the deep emotions with a willingness to look at each moment in your life that thread has played out. It will all come from one, deeply traumatic experience that once seen, can be released. And you are right, every moment and every person on our path can be that gift to finally help us see some of the deep pain we've been holding onto.

      I'd be happy to email you a chart from OneBrain that helps tremendously! Let me know if you'd like it.

    • Philipo profile image

      Philipo 7 years ago from Nigeria

      Very touchy and inspirin. Thanks for sharing.

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you for your visit and comment Philipo :)

    • JJLBvS profile image

      JJLBvS 7 years ago from USA

      Full circle! Great poem! Welcome home.

      You and I have spoken of this

      "I finally realized, their struggles are the same as mine."

      I think this is finally the realization that you ARE free. Now enjoy your freedom!

      Love to see that you are here.

      luv u

      JJL

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thanks JJ. This true realization does change the rest of my life. Not sure I could have come to it when my child was the age yours are now, or my spouse as dependent as yours but it could be done. As Deepak says, it's a question of letting go of the attachment to the roles and outcome to be a better traveler. Good luck to you in maintaining that detachment so the outcome you currently seek will include the best decisions for all concerned. Baraka Bashad my Friend...

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 7 years ago

      don't know much about buddishm but i know the feeling of wanting to be free, it is a srong emotion indeed... enjoyed reading your hub

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      So very true Brenda! The desire to be free is probably the strongest of all - motivating and inspiring for strength and understanding beyond all human conditions and usual capabilities. So glad you came by and commented - thank you :)

    • Doyle Wheeler profile image

      Doyle Wheeler 7 years ago from doylewheeler@yahoo.com

      Very nice, i love writing poems and reading good ones thank you.

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

      Thank you Doyle :) Glad you came by and commented. Welcome to HP!

    • lxxy profile image

      lxxy 6 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      How did I miss this beautiful tribute to freedom? Thanks for sharing! You're a real tough cookie Syl, but in such a loving way. :)

    • SEM Pro profile image
      Author

      SEM Pro 6 years ago from North America

      Aloha my dear friend Lexi! A tough cookie? Hmmm, the chocolate chips are still fresh lol Delighted to see you here - maybe we see things when we can appreciate them more? You are loved dear sir - hope you had a fabulous trip filled with the feeling of freedom!

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