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Updated on January 24, 2011

Feeling It Today.....

I usually write when something pulls or tugs at my heart strings which is often these days. So here I am trying to deal with the emotion of LOSS once again. This subject has never been an easy one for me since I have lost nearly everyone close to me in my family starting with my mothers death when I was eight years old. She was only thirty two years old when she decided to make her exit (not on purpose ofcourse). Once again, too painful to talk about. Lets just move on.

When is it really TOO YOUNG TO DIE? I ask myself this whenever I hear or know someone who has passed. in this case I heard of a former classmate from many years ago that just lost her life to cancer in her mid forties. Nomatter how much I knew the person or not, it still shocks me to lose your life in your forties. Since I am the same age it makes me wonder what her life would have been like in the next 20 years? I mean at this point in my life I feel like I have hit my third act running. I can only imagine what I will accomplish in the next 20 years. I guess when it comes to loss you wonder if they were happy before they went? I think this is the main issue when it comes to death coming early. My father lived to the age of 92 years old so you can say he lived a full and very long life. Was he happy when he passed? I think for the most part he was. Looking back he was afraid of death but when he left I know that he knew he had done the best that he could.

I remember going and taking part in organizing my 20 year highschool reunion in Los Angeles and in a class of about 700 students, I think between 5-10 students had lost their lives. I'm sure there were quite a few we did not know about. I found out of some that I did not know about on a social site many years later. Not sure exactly how they all lost their lives cause we did not call to find out but there was a table there to honor some of them. I read the nice poem that someone set on the memory table and I wondered if they lived full lives until then? Ofcourse drugs played their role in some of the deaths so there was no question about that. But I'm sure quite a few died from other things that were out of their control like disease or accidents. My heart sunk at the thought of it and then I walked into the hall to see a lot of old friends.

I do believe that there are angels among us. As corny as it sounds I have seen them at work. In little ways even when they didn't know that they were doing anything. Do some people on earth receive messages from a higher power? I'm not quite sure, but I am sure that certain people are here to pick up certain signals. I do know quite a few people who are angels in some sort of way. They don't wear wings or white gowns but they have changed peoples lives. I have seen it firsthand and I have experienced it myself and I'm not making this stuff up.

When I heard of this former classmate dying at such a young age, I happened to know what her life was like a few months before. And it was not through her because I did not communicate with her. Just a few exchanges on a social site a while ago. That is it. She was doing what she wanted to do and living life to its fullest because of a certain angel that I know very closely. Someone who just happens to know how to get the signals from heaven even in a low hum. One of the few people in this world that listens very closely. I happened to know that this former classmate who passed was living it up for about four months doing exactly what she wanted to do and having a blast doing it. This has given me great peace so instead of getting sad about the loss I'm happy that she lived her dream.

And now we have come to this place right here at the bottom of my article. Let's think about this quietly and honestly. Are we living our lives to the fullest and are we happy? I can certainly say I am very happy and very blessed. i have made quite a few big changes to get to this place and it has not been easy. There has been a lot of pain and struggles to get where I am. I do feel happy when I help others which I do on a daily basis even if I don't know them. I never go a day without giving to someone and this makes my heart full. So here i am to let you know if you do not feel love every single day, there is something wrong. I feel it every single day in my writing, in my children, in my supportive friendships and from others too. I feel it when I stop by the bench in front of Von's and visit my homeless friend who is in her 60's and a grandmother who lost everything in this economy.

So ask yourself this, what can you do to feel the love? Just reach out to anyone who needs you. Even if it is for a few minutes. Just remember that life needs to be devoured and never taken for granted.



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    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      James....It is a hard subject to bring up with a lot of people, so I just do what I can to make the world a better place. Even if it is just one conversation or writing something like this. I remember bringing this conversation up to my father a few years before he passed. I said "Dad, are you sure you are ok? Would you like to be around more people at a place nearby. I'm just concerned that you are alone too much." He was silent. He was about 88 years old at the time. I saw his mind at work and his expression changed quite suddenly. All of a sudden he yelled out "What are you trying to do?!!! Put me in my grave?!!!! I stared at him in shock and I saw the fear. I never mentioned it again. I have seen people deal with death in all sorts of ways. Some were a lot more comfortable with it then others. So, it is best to celebrate life so we can comfort people who maybe on their way out one day. Best, G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      Zsuzsy Bee...thank you for sharing about someone so close to you. I don't think it is ever the right time for someone we love so much to leave us. I remember the word that was used to describe my late grandmother Annetta. She was a lot like your good friend and spent a lot of her life helping others and she was an amazing grandmother. The word that was used to describe her at her funeral was "irreplaceable." I guess that one word summed it all up for me. I miss her so much......G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      IV..thank you so much for your lovely words. Warms my heart. I am blessed to have so many wonderful people surrounding me right now. Some I have known for a long time and some I have not met yet. Your spirit is amazing and I'm so glad we met here on HP's....I'm so glad this hub touched you. G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      Pamela..thank you so much for your comment. I have seen different people at the time of death and you are right about what you said. All the best, G

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      8 years ago from Chicago

      I believe in angels, too, my dear.

      I have also been to my class reunions at which they have a list of those who have passed the Great Divide before us.

      I am afraid to die. Who isn't? Most try to block it out and not think about it. I agree with you: let's reach out and comfort who we can while we are here. Yes, indeed.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 

      8 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Hiya G, 'When is it too young to die? you ask. One of my dearest and best friends moved on to a better life (her words) just before Christmas. She was only 59, just two years older then I am now. The dreaded "C" had made her life a misery for almost two years and even then she was still strong enough to be there for everyone else.She WAS too young to die because she still had so much she needed to finish. Her grandchildren need her... to know what an amazing person their Grandma was... to know that she really was an angel. Always there to help the ones in need, feeding them (and not just at our soup kitchen), clothing them (sewing and collecting clothes, coats, blankets) or just being there with a nice wide shoulder for anyone to cry on. Best of all she always only saw the good in everyone, never judged anyone... She definitely was one of the angel living amongst us... definitely too young to die. On the other hand she was happy in her life, doing just what she wanted almost until the end. She only worried about death because she knew it would cause pain to her Hubby, family and friends...

      After all this what I'm trying to say is that if there is a purpose for us to live, if we can make life better for anyone around us then we're too young to die... Yanni is sorely missed by all.

      Thanks for sharing your inner thoughts G, you always seem to be able to guide my thoughts into the right direction.

      I hope you are well

      kindest regards Zsuzsy

    • IslandVoice profile image

      Sylvia Van Velzer 

      8 years ago from Hawaii

      I didn't make a mistake in finding a friend in you G. You have a heart of gold, and i truly truly esteem you. Keep writing and sharing, or baring your soul. This world needs more loving people like you. I love this hub, as it had touched me.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      GPAGE, I am glad you are living with love and touching the lives of others in such a positive way. Your hub is one that makes you think in depth about your life, and I am not afraid to die. I have cared for many people as a nurse and the ones that have spiritual beliefs just slip away without fear.

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      Dean. I would never delete you! People like you deserve to be heard. I hear what you are saying. I'm sorry for your loss. What a wonderful and loving vision you described as you held her hands. I think living is better then dying in this particular case cause you were there ALIVE to hold her hands and bring her joy in the end. I will always be here for your pain and your crazy jokes that always come from the heart. You can't hide from me my friend. Ha. I always enjoy you nomatter what you write! G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from California

      Wayne. Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate it very much. I like the idea of 3000 Saturday nights. Best, GPAGE

    • cheaptrick profile image


      8 years ago from the bridge of sighs

      Hello G.Remember me?Yesterday...I buried a girl who was my joy.She'd lost her legs to diabetes,become obese,and sat on infected bed sores in agonizing pain for some time.She always spoke about how much she missed dancing.I sat with her as death approached and held her hands.For no reason that I can fathom I squeezed her hands tight and looked into her eyes.I kept saying Dance with me with me.I don't know if it helped but what else can a man do when his joy is slipping away.I've been involved with death all my life as you know.I have danced with the devil and come to realize two things.Death always frightens the living...and death is mercy in it's purest form for some of us.My belief is simple...I don't think dieing is much different than living.You can delete this if you must.I'll understand.Sorry,no jokes for a while.


    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 

      8 years ago from Texas

      Life is terribly short at best and we only come to that realization at some point in the third quarter. The sobering effect is to reach that age when the next twenty years may be the last, glance at the scoreboard and wonder if you have enough points. If we live a full life, it really about 3000 Saturday nights....Good Write! WB


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