- Books, Literature, and Writing
Ten Keys to a Woman's Heart- a Book Review
This book, and its predecessor are the same exact book but with different titles. The other book by this author was Ten Ways to Jump Start Your Sex Life. The latter book had only one small chapter about sex so I believe that was false advertising.
This is yet another book of how MEN screw up marriages. The author believes that if men did these ten things-gift giving, nonsexual touching, dating, filling her love tank, living with testosterone, putting HER first, educating yourself about HER, refusing to look at pornography, making her feel safe and appreciating her-that the wife should not have to bear any responsibility. Last time I looked, marriage is between two people and not just the one.
Marriage is a definite two way street and the woman has to be held just as responsible. She must also make her needs and wishes know. Men are simple creatures-they do not have ulterior motives. They are not mind readers because as women, we give off mixed signals. You must learn to speak what you want EXACTLY-stop sending mixed messages.
So ladies, if you want your man to respond to you like you want them to, I suggest you do the following:
1. Say things that you mean, not what you want him to deduce from your ramblings. Men have a short attention span and they can get confused easily. This is not a slap against men-on the contrary-I am trying to help you understand that men are factual.
2. If you men have the means to shower us with presents and cards and things that require money, great! If not, men can help by watching the children while you run out for a short errand. But don't expect him to be a built in baby sitter. More than likely, he has already put in a 10-12 hour shift at work between commuting and actually punching the time clock.
3. Respond to your man when he initiates love touches. Nothing is more rejecting to a man when his woman rebuffs his touch. If you are not in the mood for "it" then and there, make a date for "it" when you are. Also, take care of the way that you look and smell. You may have had a baby on your hip all day but when you put the little one down, why don't you take a bubble bath and pamper yourself? You will be amazed when you take the time to snazz it up. Remember how you used to primp and make yourself desirable for HIM? Your whole attitude can and will change. Besides, you can also fantasize about how the night will end. Another tactic to take is to be his MISTRESS or GIRLFRIEND-not just a wife. This goes back to remembering all those times you couldn't keep your hands off of each other!
4. Anticipate what your man may want to do for a date night. If you just can't tear him away from the game, wait till the commercial and tease him a little. Remember that there are two in this marriage:it isn't always about you. Besides, if you do something he likes, he will more than likely respond by doing something that you like to do.
5. Don't spend your husband into the poor house. More than likely, he is working extremely hard to make sure that the essentials of life are paid i.e. groceries, mortgage, power and water. Don't get credit cards and spend them to the limit without talking to him. If you want to know that your finances are safe, then you do your part and stop those impulse buys.
6. Tell your husband that he is the best thing that ever happened to you. Remember, he also had his pick of women to marry and he chose you to spend the rest of his life with as well. Men need to hear that they are your hero and that you appreciate his hard work of fixing things around the house and even killing those spiders!
7. Be proud that your husband is a MAN! Testosterone included. If he didn't have this hormone, he would just be another woman and didn't you marry someone of the opposite sex? True, men can be taught to be sensitive and caring but macho is nice!
8. Try putting your husband first instead of acting like you have to always be the princess. Your husband should not have to compete for your attention from your girlfriends. You will make time for the children's needs-that could be understood but if you want a night out with the girls, then reciprocate and let him have his male bonding time as well.
9. Educate yourself about how men work. Like I've said before, men are simple creatures. They want and need to feel wanted and loved, They want to be your knight in shining armor. They don't want to be henpecked and have every thing that they have done wrong in the past thrown up in their faces by you. Being able to recall exact dates and circumstances only conveys that you can't or won't forgive him. A little forgiveness on your part will lead to a husband who is more responsive. Remember, he is human...flesh and blood just the same as you.
10. You don't need pornography from TV or movies or videos. The Bible has some pretty racy passages. Look up Song of Solomon and try reading these passages to your spouse. They are guaranteed to leave you breathless! God designed sex to be fun and enjoyable so don't neglect his needs.
Basically what is boils down to is this "Love your neighbor as well as you do yourself" Luke 10:27 via The Message Bible. You can't have a more closer neighbor than the one you sleep with every night!
Also Luke 6:31 states, "Treat people in the same way that you want them to treat you." from the Common English Bible.
Good healthy marriages rely on communication and honesty. You should marry your best friend and remember-you love each other and make it a covenant marriage, not a contractual agreement! The marriage vows do not state "for better and better" or "for richer and richer" This is not a fairy tale. It is hard work but the rewards far outweigh the bad days.
So the next time that you want to complain that he does everything wrong, start telling him the things he does right.