Ten Things That Made Me Happy
Ten Things That Made Me Happy
Somebody asked me what makes or made me happy. It was a prompt to a keeping up with the Jones for nerds exercise. I guess I am happiest when my cell phone is charging. I also like it when a house fly gets stuck in the ketchup. Yesterday I was unhappy. My dog ate my donkey. How do I get happy? Let count the ways.
- I’m happy when my wife’s girlfriend spills the mashed potatoes on the stove just before the big dinner she’s been planning for months. I’m unhappy when she wants me to clean it up. OK, dear, but not with my dentures.
- I’m happy when someone sends me photos of people who shop at Wal-Mart. I wish I could afford to dress that way.
- I like it when terrorists who settled in America return home to visit family and can’t find any place to buy cigarettes and coca cola.
- It made me happy when the landlord of my income based apartment had me audited and learned she owed me thirty dollars. I bet her boss was thrilled to hear that, after spending all that money. I never got the thirty dollars.
- It made me happy when my Spanish teacher translated “Fritos Bandito.” I’m not a cannibal after all.
- I had an unwelcome house guest who almost put me to sleep by talking non stop for two hours. I was happy when my cat jumped up in his lap and took a pee. He still did not stop talking. It was another half hour before he went home. .
- Once my mother concluded a scolding session by picking up a spoon from the kitchen table with food stuff on it and placing it in her mouth. That made me very happy. I had just finished serving cat food with it.
- I was interested in a lady and observed that she likes a guy who goes somewhere. He gets in his car and drives some blocks and gets out, goes into a building for a while then drives some more blocks and does something else inside somewhere then he does that again, for a few times every week. I am happy over a woman who, like me, isn't going anywhere. . Are you going somewhere? Not with me
- One day I got a call from the police department. They said they would tow my car if I did not move it before 24 hours were up. There was a rule about how long your car could sit on the street without being moved.
“Oh, thank you!” I exuded.
“What?! You want us to tow your car? “
“Yes. I want to get rid of it and don’t know how."
“Wait a minute! We are not a towing service.”
“You just said you would tow it.”
“You have to call a junk yard for that. We’re not touching it.”
A few hours later he called back saying another officer wanted the tires from my car because they were a small kind that are hard to find and they were in good shape and he needed them. He would take care of me. Shortly a young man appeared at the front of my house, removed my tires and replaced them with older ones. He then introduced himself as a policeman, gave me five dollars and took my parking ticket. There is no record of it anywhere in this world. It made me very happy.
10. The moderator at the keeping up with Jones group for nerds wanted us to list at least ten things that make us happy for use in conversation. I’m happy I am at the end of the list. Too bad I don't know how to fix these goofed up numbers on this hub. I was never good at numbers. Oh well, can't be happy about everything.