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The 10 Ienvitable

Updated on April 3, 2016

The 10 Inevitable

Isn't it amazing that in the past fifteen years little junior was in the nursery class reciting his nursery rhymes?

Well, that was yesterday and indeed a story for today-like, wasn't the university a fun filled place packed with all the fun people, and outsiders perspective. Junior thought school would be like it was in the movies till he found out that nobody even say the word “awesome” in school.

It has become clear that all the hippies, yuppies, and yahoos are a fiction and the make believe warm, romantic atmosphere he saw in college films are straight up deception that made junior want his money back. Nobody told him that really would be so boring- a routine of assignment, typing, photocopying, long hour lectures, group work that makes junior want to loose it. To cap it all, whenever a beam of fun glow from all the stickers but hard:

Hmm, it had almost six months now and the lad could hardly recall his matriculation number. In the last chat we had with a friend junior exclaimed, “guy e no easy” and insider's perspective.

The university is not always what we think

It is, for it is what it is when you are in. so,

Count yourself fortunate for you are about to be

Told the 10 things most students were not fortunate

To know before gaining admission. People are really

Stingy with it, nobody will tell you at home, and

Probably you can't get it online. So pay attention.

· Rigorous Registration that might offset your psyche – check

· Departmental Excos will welcome you with open arms, even throw you a bash- be careful, they're out for your money- check

· You may end up getting acquainted to all the eggrolls and cool canteens but never visit the library unless for registration. Students will tell you all the books are too old and outdated, go see for yourself - check

· Some lecturers sent from Hades will find pleasure in making you suffer, you'll even detest them-but in the end you'll be glad they did ------ check

· Petty assignments, seminar/presentation and group works will make you have rethink whether you were really meant to study in the university or should maintain a shop at terminus market – it had never been better, shey na degree – check

· Some results on the notice board would be the opposite of your intellect. When the time comes you'll know the right thing to do – check

· Friends, friends, friends will come and go and come and come and go; let them go, the right ones will stick with you till the end – check

· Material and mental possessions will attract people to you- sorry if you have non, be humble that helps too – check

· The “Less pocket Syndrome” will limit fun on campus, makes the most of what you have, but wisely – check

· The strikers will surely strike! Anytime, it could be during examination- develop your shocks, go home, be a believer and pray the man above intervenes. You dare not be overly confident to the extent of certainty of a precise graduation date. This one is serious O! Toh – check

Blessed is the person reading this for you shall be readily equipped for whatever funny surprise that will come your way. Before you, are laid As and COs, I won't tell you which to choose. Check!

By Ndem Vivian & Zakhai G. Ibrahim

WITHOUT CRUTCHES

Oh great nation!

Crucified at birth

Affixed with strife amidst thy offspring

An intent malady

By the womb that conceived thee.

Great Olympus of the Black race!

Lamed at cradle, yet without crutches

An intrigue to totter endlessly

In baby-sitting, you survived a centenary hurdle

Thy pillars quiver at menace of thy enemy's arrow.

Oh great nation!

Thy treasure trove is now thy bane

Thou art food basket

Yet thy offspring are incorrigibly famished

Great in quantity, abridged in quality

The amazing rivalry between six and three pence!

Great Olympus of ancient wonders!

When did they label thy expiration?

Thy amalgamation was a masterpiece of convenience

The drive of thy taskmaster

A selfish meld!

Great nation of fury eyes

Thou were handed over to mediocre to tend

Designed to be piloted by planked eyes

A quest for neocolonialism at curved end

The rebirth of perpetual slavery!

They merry at thy strife and disarray

And criticize as if they care

Yet thy failure, the joy of their accomplishment

When you dance astray they spank on thy spine

Yet in the media they becloud the resonance of a mother.

Thou Freeloader master

Free her and let her ascend her throne

She is grown strong to shield herself

Now the giant of the most prosperous continent

Indeed, your elucidation from America

Cannot assuage the snags in Africa!

How many more tanks shall her tears fill to pierce thy reprobate heart?

Quit thy crocodile tears and back off

Thy reigns of terror and mischiefs are over

Having survived thy hurdles

Let her merry in the glory of her plenty!

Great nation of never-give-ups!

Whatever doesn't kill you leaves you stronger

Arise and shine

Reconcile thy differences amicably; for

Alone is voice and together is force!

Watch out for the guiles of religion

The crucifix and star in a crescent are replacement of

Knotted palm fronts

Whose fears kept anarchy off thy heart

Yet destroyed to rob thy conscience and project liberty untamed.

Now, rise like the giant you are

Give thy offspring a heroic history

Wipe their shame of inferiority and disdain

Rise in valour against your oppressors

And let those who mocked thee submit to thy majesty.

By Eze Collins Ofoma

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