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The Ascent: Lost in the Landslide of Life

Updated on February 26, 2013

Lost in the Landslide of Life

Let me paint a portrait—a picture of my life. You see the smiles in my photos and through my words catch a glimpse of the mountain moments. Standing on top of a conquered mountain is such a great place from which to speak and share. The air is crisp and the high perspective makes all seem clear. The climb doesn’t seem so bad once you’re at the top. This I’ve discovered about myself—I love to write from mountaintops.

But you see, much of my life consists of climbing. Most of my steps reflect the struggle to soar—the challenge of the ascent always before me. Rocks crumble and I lose my footing and what seems solid often gives way. It’s not just you—I stumble and slide down the mountain too.

The Ascent

Sometimes the storms come and the thunder threatens me in its booming voice: “Leave. This mountain is too grand and you are too small.” It mocks me with thunder laughs that echo in the valley, teasing, “You will fail, you will fall—once and for all.”

These are the times when I must choose each step with precision. These are the times when I must sing and shout so loudly that the voice of the thunder is drowned out by declarations of my decisions—of what shall be but has manifested not. I must remember the truth that I sought that what I once knew I forgot. I search for thoughts of hope I’d once caught. There is no guarantee that the storm will ever cease. My only hope is to climb and shout through the storm and to hope that as I rise my strength will increase.

My feelings rebel and my emotions try to drown me in self-pity. I feel imprisoned in a forgotten, abandoned city. Thick fog obstructs what has always been, before this moment, so clear. My body tells me to stop and my muscles tremble in despair and fear. Everything in me says, “Give up! Make a life for yourself right here.”

Well—almost everything.

There is a little light—a faint voice—a whisper of wisdom from another age, from another day. It is barely noticeable when shrouded in such darkness but I know that it is there and that it can make a way. Like a candle in the wind one puff of resistance can blow it out. But previous journeys have taught me the power of letting the little light out.

I protect it—I nurture it—I hide it from the wind and the rain. I encourage it to grow and promise it a place in my heart and mind and to let it expose my pain. It begins to grow and as it expands I ascend into the free. The voice of truth becomes stronger and the light burns brighter, making clearer the path before me. The winds howl but the light pays no heed. It leads me upward and asks only that I see and agree.

The light and I become intertwined—I sing its song as it rewrites mine. I have embraced it and now it carries me. I have agreed with it and now it empowers me. I believed against all odds and now it creates a path of escape where once one was not to be seen.

I reach the top of the mountain—above the clouds—the storm beneath my feet. I am overcome by the presence of its heat. I bask in the light—it permeates this place—it creates an illuminating space. How was it ever so contained, so small? When now it is everything, everywhere, it is all? I hide a little flame in my pocket—just in case I forget—just in case I fall. And then I remember, I’ve been here before. I forgot, in the landslide, that I was born to soar.

I know a new mountain will come along and a new storm emerge. How quickly will I again be caught in the surge? I so easily forget in the darkness what has been learned in the sun. This time I put light in two pockets, not one. This time I prepare a little bit more so I’ll remember the light I have stored. The next time I become undone, I’ll reach into my pockets and pull out the sun. And next time, instead of climb, I will soar, because I’ll remember that in the light, the light I become.

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    • Seek-n-Find profile imageAUTHOR

      Jenna Ditsch 

      4 years ago from Illinois

      @Ocfirefilies: Thank you! Oh yay! I actually LOVE hugs so great reward for me. :-) I love metaphors. My writing gives that away. It's the only way things make sense to me. I so appreciate your stopping by and leaving such a kind comment!

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 

      4 years ago from North Carolina

      Congratulations for receiving Hug of the Day. After reading works like this one, I can understand why for you speak in such a comforting way.

      Most beautiful are you use of metaphors. Consider me a new fan.

      Many Blessings,

      ocfireflies aka Kim

    • Seek-n-Find profile imageAUTHOR

      Jenna Ditsch 

      5 years ago from Illinois

      @Availasvision: Thank you so much for your comment! I totally agree with what you are saying. Though trials do not "feel" pleasant, I too have learned how to embrace them and realize they are often times blessings in disguise. Thank you so much for stopping by--hope to see you around some more!!!

    • Availiasvision profile image

      Jennifer Arnett 

      5 years ago from California

      I love your style of writing. I think it is the struggle of climbing that makes the top even better. If it were easy, the top wouldn't be as rewarding. We can spend our whole lives waiting for the next summit, or enjoy the trials, darkness, and struggle knowing that the light is coming. I now enjoy trials because I know I will come out stronger and wiser. Enjoy each dirty step to the top, there is a reward at the end.

    • Seek-n-Find profile imageAUTHOR

      Jenna Ditsch 

      5 years ago from Illinois

      @JThomp42: Thank you! Appreciate the read and the vote. :-)

    • Seek-n-Find profile imageAUTHOR

      Jenna Ditsch 

      5 years ago from Illinois

      @lifegate: Thank you! I'm glad it encouraged you. Sometimes I actually write for the sole purpose of encouraging myself--and then I decide to share it with others. :-)

    • profile image

      JThomp42 

      5 years ago

      Very nicely done. Voted up and awesome.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      5 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      SnF,

      Nicely done, I enjoyed the read and the encouragement. Thank you.

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