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The Bathroom Chronicle

Updated on November 4, 2010

 "Knock, Knock, Knock" on my bathroom door

One of the three devils wish to implore

My privacy as I try to go

I remember now the bathroom is now my foe


Aww the glory days are gone

when I sat here in peace

to do my business quietly

no interuptions to say the least


I never say

as to where I go

in hopes this will be the time

I have uninterupted flow


But everytime I take a trip

into the toilet world of nature calls right now

The kids always find me

I'm not sure how


I have tried a lock

But they found the key

I have tried concrete blocks

And they swore they had to pee


Even when they sleep

They know I am in there

And yet they insist

The monster under their bed gave them a scare.


My dignity is gone

As I sit with an audience of sometimes three

Asking me things that could wait

When I am in here why not let me be?


They could be halfway around the world

As I sit down to go

and there they will be

Asking me what I know


They ask me what I am doing

Honestly is it hard to figure out?

"I'm sitting here warming the toilet

and trying to get rid of all my doubt.


I'm sitting here contemplating

Why the planets revolve around the sun

Why your questions can not wait

Until I am done.


I'm dropping the kids

off at the pool...

Why is it you need something

When I am on the stool?"


The reply I get is a giggle

and "I don't know"

"Well, if you need the toilet,

just say so."


" No Mom I don't need the bathroom

I wanted to see what you were doing in here."

"Well, would you like me to stand up

So you can see my dear?"


Never fails they run away

and I have a moment to me, myself and I

but I know the next time I gotta go

They will be close by







Submit a Comment

  • Treasuresofheaven profile image

    Sima Ballinger 7 years ago from Michigan

    Mandyf, this is funny, I enjoyed! The little ones love you whatever you do -- that's what I call unconditional love. Vote Up!

  • Marie Louise profile image

    Marie Louise 7 years ago

    So true yet so funny!!! You always make me laugh! I voted you up!

  • TheSenior profile image

    TheSenior 7 years ago

    This is funny but oh so true - they just don't want to be without mommy. Another way to look at it is Your their Rock.

  • leni sands profile image

    Leni Sands 7 years ago from UK

    What a laugh and so true.

  • caceewalsh profile image

    caceewalsh 7 years ago from Montana

    ha, ha, funny!