The Bathroom Chronicle
"Knock, Knock, Knock" on my bathroom door
One of the three devils wish to implore
My privacy as I try to go
I remember now the bathroom is now my foe
Aww the glory days are gone
when I sat here in peace
to do my business quietly
no interuptions to say the least
I never say
as to where I go
in hopes this will be the time
I have uninterupted flow
But everytime I take a trip
into the toilet world of nature calls right now
The kids always find me
I'm not sure how
I have tried a lock
But they found the key
I have tried concrete blocks
And they swore they had to pee
Even when they sleep
They know I am in there
And yet they insist
The monster under their bed gave them a scare.
My dignity is gone
As I sit with an audience of sometimes three
Asking me things that could wait
When I am in here why not let me be?
They could be halfway around the world
As I sit down to go
and there they will be
Asking me what I know
They ask me what I am doing
Honestly is it hard to figure out?
"I'm sitting here warming the toilet
and trying to get rid of all my doubt.
I'm sitting here contemplating
Why the planets revolve around the sun
Why your questions can not wait
Until I am done.
I'm dropping the kids
off at the pool...
Why is it you need something
When I am on the stool?"
The reply I get is a giggle
and "I don't know"
"Well, if you need the toilet,
just say so."
" No Mom I don't need the bathroom
I wanted to see what you were doing in here."
"Well, would you like me to stand up
So you can see my dear?"
Never fails they run away
and I have a moment to me, myself and I
but I know the next time I gotta go
They will be close by