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The Canopy Bed
The Canopy Bed
More than anything else in the world, I wanted a canopy bed. We had finally got our house built, and I wanted a canopy bed in my new bedroom.
"You can't have a canopy bed!" my mother said." Canopy beds accumulate dust, and with your allergies, it would be deadly", she continued."Besides, I don't want to deal with having to clean it."
"But Mom!" I whined.
"No buts about it, you cannot have a canopy bed."
Dad Enters the Picture
It was a Saturday and my dad was home from work. "A canopy bed?" he asked as he entered the room.
"Yes, Daddy, please, please can I have one? They are so pretty. I want a pink one to go with my blue wallpaper with pink flowers. It would be so beautiful."
My dad appeared thoughtful..."Hmmmm..." He said.
I watched his face carefully. Was he really thinking about it?
"What does your mother say?"
My heart fell to the bottom of my barefoot toes.
"She can't have one," my mother said. "It would give her allergies."
Dad looked at me with a sparkle in his eye. "You want a canopy bed?" he asked. " I'll get you a canopy bed."
I couldn't believe my good fortune. Dad was taking a stand against Mom and it was in my favor. Where did my good luck come from?
I believed in horse shoes and 4 leaf clovers. I had a rabbit's foot on a key chain that I hooked onto the belt loop of my jeans,or whatever I was wearing.
Dad said, " I'll get a can of pee and put it under your bed. Then you'll have a can-o-pee bed."
I Begin to Scheme
He thought he was funny. "Daaad" I said, with my voice inflection going down and then up again.
"Oh, you don't want a can-o-pee bed?" He was determined to keep up this farce of a joke, I could see.
I began to think of cans of pee and remembered how when we were building the house my brother would get a can out of the garage and pee in it. I was jealous at the time. Only boys were born with that convenience. Me, I had to hold it or run around the block to my cousin's house to use the bathroom.
I decided it was time to use my arsenal of well kept secrets. "Did you ever wonder why the hallway has such a strange color of yellow?" I asked.
I Had Their Attention
I had their attention now. I knew there had been long deliberations on why the hallway was such a yellowish yellow. It was meant to be yellow, but not that (do I dare even think it?) pee- greenish yellow.
Both my parents were looking at me. This was a rare occurrence. I had their rapt attention and I milked it for all it was worth.
"Well, have you? Ever wondered, I mean?"
"Yes," they both answered at once. " What do you know about it?" Mom said.
I Thicken the Plot
Well, remember how Johnny used to pee in a can in the garage?"
"Yes," they both said again, in unison.
"What about it?" my dad asked again.
"Well,"I said, not being able to draw it out any longer, "I think Dad used the can of pee for turpentine!"
Dad Mulls It Over
Dad got very quiet. He was mulling it over in his head. "You mean, that can out there wasn't turpentine? I thinned the paint with turpentine."
He began to look sheepish."Or maybe it was pee." he said.
I watched my parent's faces. I looked at the hallway. It definitely had a pee- greenish- yellow cast to it.
Suddenly Dad burst out laughing. Then Mom did , too. Johnny came into the room. "What's so funny?" he asked.
The family lived with the greenish yellow hallway for several years until Dad got around to repainting it. The paint really did last a long time. It became the family joke.
To this day I do not really know for sure if the turpentine was really pee. I never got my canopy bed, either.