The Coffee Chronicles
The Stupid Things I Did Faster With More Energy
Caffeinated Lines on White Paper Cups
I’m not really sure what chronicles are but I know the word begins with the same letter as coffee.
My name is Erica. I love coffee. I tried to save the world by carrying around a personal re-usable coffee mug, but I dropped it while I was carrying almonds at the grocery store and it broke. Now I have granola in my teeth. Turns out that Buddha and Mrs. Vanden Bosch were right. I won’t tell you how. Like Dorothy, you’ll have to figure it out for yourself. The Good Witch of the North can’t help you. Neither can the Wizard of Oz. Or me. I. Death isn’t a challenge for Grandma Antoinette. It’s a benediction. But Quebec children have misery becoming adults. And their ph levels are always changing. Stevie Wonder was right too.
Direct formation. My current vocation is to seduce the world. Then take those sunglasses off the top of your head. You look like Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse seduced. What was Mike Snow’s word of the day? Friscalating. As in friscalating darkness. As in useless seduction. He offered to lend me a few squares of toilet paper. Farewell to the corn cob pipe and the button nose. And the eyes made out of coal. Considering how boring this course is, the teacher is in an admirably good mood. An eye rhyme. If your eyes were made out of coal, would you see it?
I love you more than spelt bread.
I love you more than cantaloupe.
You know what’s funny? The guy who walks around with his opera in his pockets. He doesn’t want it to get stolen. They call marshmallows guiBLANCS, because guimauves aren’t mauve. Xanadu doesn’t have a Z in it I don’t think. My horse is a kingdom and I am a terrorist. The next thing I was going to say would have been redundant. Hillary Clinton has three L’s and how many children. My mom has a bracelet for depression. What’s your bracelet? You could be diasporic or exiled and that will not make my spinal fluids boil. Or bubble or freeze. Migrant authors don’t celebrate the city. And I shall celebrate nothing until this class is dismissed.