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The Disappointment

Updated on May 21, 2013

A shadow on her door step
Stops and looks around
"Come in, the way is clear"
She calls from a distance
not too far
yet so close
He hesitates a little bit first
and then creeps inside
the crypt
Smoothly as a gentleman
strikes few strokes
but all of a sudden
melted down
with satisfaction
"What a mission"
she thought
"That was too fast!
How disappointing!
Dried-up,
not spicy!
No ebb no flow no onward no upward
no kiss no caress
just the ice age method: inside out "
Before she finishes her soliloquy,
He blows himself away,
out as quickly as burglar
running away from a break-in
leaving her in more anger
and want.



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    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      4 years ago from Morocco

      Ranzi,

      Thanks for stopping by and commented.I am glad to hear that you liked it :)

    • Ranzi profile image

      Cut The Bullshit 

      4 years ago from All Over

      Great poem.. quite humorous especially the part about sneaking out like a burgular

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Wildove,

      Book ?I never thought about it.I was here just by accident hehe I ve never thought that I could write poetry since English not my mother-tongue.I am not wise.I am just illustrating my mom s ideas and feelings here.She is the source of may it appear my wisdom.

      Thanks so much for the visit and comment.

      James

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 

      5 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      So, you've met lover. Actually most of them it seems. I would certainly be in your debt if you would be willing to write a hand book for men explaining the ins- and-outs of being the perfect lover! It would make the perfect stocking stuffer! Your poem speaks of a knowledge that most men need to learn. Please share your wisdom for the sake of all woman! LOL

      Nicely done! Voted up!

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Made,

      There's nothing worse than being disappointed in somebody.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 

      5 years ago from Finland

      I understand her disappointment. Awesome and amazing poem!

    • profile image

      Beth37 

      5 years ago

      Come and go, come and go. A sad commentary.

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      For centuries,poets,novelists..have recognized the therapeutic nature of writing.Verginia Wolf ,my favorite writer who had big impact on my life ,explored her profound revelations about illness in her seminal essay On Being Ill.She wrote that (illness Changes our relationshi to the world around us.It enhances our receptions:it reduces self-consciousness).Over the ast 30 years social scientist and Medical researchers have invistigated the ways in which writing promotes health and wellbeing.Clincally,it has been proven that writing is a good medicine to rinse our souls ,as one of my friends here in hubpages says,from anxiety, depression,tension..I agree with you we may not writing intentionally for therapeutic purposes but the outcome is very beneficial :Great Relief .Besides to this,we become great articulators of the unconscious parts of our psyche and so well-acquainted with our (shadow)selves. Because deep writing does bring us face to face with ourselves and it's fine to move slowly and dip in and out of this process. As Emily Dickinson said, "The truth must dazzle gradually, else all men be blind."

      Honest true love certainly is a good medicine.the good thing about it is that if the process of writing as a therapy would take you long time to be recovered,Woman on the contrary just for short time you will forget your pain and even the name of yourself haha .

      It is true while I am waiting love to find me ,I have to stitch up my own new shoes.I am kind of guys who dont let his own burden to be carried by others.I am Sisyphus and the rock is mine:)

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      James,

      You may not be writing intentionally for therapeutic purposes, but I can guarantee it is a therapy nonetheless. Anyone of us could us or would benefit from therapy. Personally, I don't want to go talk to a stranger with argyle socks and convince myself he cares about my 'problems'. I really don't want to take and medications :D Whether it is our intentions or not, I think us writers find relief in writing; that's a big part of why we do it. Instead of having someone paid to listen to you; people who actually care about you, listen for free, because they want to.

      You're right about the love, but only true honest love will be a therapy for you. You have to stitch up your own shoes if you want to attract a good woman for you cannot place the burden of mending you on someone else, that is a big weight to bear and you may resent her if she fails. Then, she will come along and help knock down those walls, but you have to be willing to let the mortar crumble.

      Much love to you, James,

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      PHILLYDREAMER,

      Absolutely,he needs it lol

    • PHILLYDREAMER profile image

      Jose Velasquez 

      5 years ago from Lodi, New Jersey

      I think he needed a Viagra or that stuff on the commercial where the guys is always smiling. LOL

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      I really dont know that I am much more involved in therapeutic writing.I heard somewhere Bruce Weigl says that he likes this kind of writing because he couldn't trust a therapist the way he could a piece of paper and It has many benefits.This quote is from Wikipedia.He says "What it helps you do is externalize things, give a shape to it. And that’s what Denise Levertov kept telling me is that, Look, you control it now. It doesn’t control you anymore. You own it now. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Writing_therapy.

      For woman,I am sure she is somewhere waiting me :) I ll look for her.She is my therapy too,besides to writing,maybe the most effective:).I think and no wonder if I say she is the only one who could stitch me a new pair of shoes to wear:) and tear down the walls that are erected around me.

      Thanks

      with much love!

      James

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      James,

      We're all full of flaws, scars and insecurities... you just wear them on your sleeve with your heart and share them with the world, I don't think you realize how theraputic you are for others. You are a beautiful person and sometimes the crooked road we take doesn't seem fair at the time, but things happen for a reason and this is only going to prepare you for truly recognizing that woman when she comes along, and she will. Some people are even lonelier when they aren't alone... and that, is truly a sad place to be. When you get where you're going, with who you will be going with, you will never feel alone.

      Hugs,

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      Wow,you are so sweet.Sometimes,the idea of losing her frightens me so much.I really couldn't imagine a day without her.I could lose things but I know myself I could regain them if not,I would be recovered and stand on my feet once again,but her I doubt if I could make it again and sometimes,I said to myself if I got a woman and have kids the pain of loosing her will be lessened because I wont be alone in that time.

      I really dont want anything from this life just a good woman worth her weight in gold.I know it is hard to find someone like that,but just someone who cares and love me for who I am.I 'm just me,full of flaws,scars,and insecurities and I am not seeking perfection !!!

      James

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      James,

      They always say if you want to know how a man loves a woman, watch him with his mother. I think it's wonderful that you are close with your mom and it is certainly no surprise. You witnessing a woman you love so dearly treated poorly, has no doubt affected you and how you love. I used to think I wanted a bad boy with a good heart... I've since omitted the 'bad' :D ... your angel is coming... her wings are heavy, the journey to you is long! ;-)

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Wayne ,my dear friend:

      Thanks for the visit and comment.

      Have a wonderful weekend!

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      I dont know why lol it seems most girls like bad boys lol and I am a nice guy lol you know nice guys always get the short straws...I need to search for the girl who matches my intrests and humor .I value women because maybe of being close to my mom.Always I was by her side when dad treated her badly.I know how it feels when you are in an abused relationship.

      James

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Isn't that the way it goes... someone like you who values women and has respect for them sits single and wondering when he will be discovered and loved for the beautiful person that he is? Yet the cocky, arrogant men that have no respect for women... have more than they know what to do with? But here is the magic James... those relationships will never be anything beautiful. What you will have, will be!

      Cat

    • wayne barrett profile image

      Wayne Barrett 

      5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

      Extremely good work here my friend.

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Cat,

      Women are delicate flowers.We men should take care of them,nourish them well physically and emotionally,protect them when they are in danger and stand by them when they need us.The most important treat them so well in bed hahaha

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      James,

      WOW... no, double WOW! This is fantastic, it's smooth and almost sarcastic and boy does it pull you in!?! See, I can truly understand the message that you are subtly screaming (oxymoron?), but you, a man... a man who I am convinced has not been such an offender... for you to be so perceptive is so extremely impressive... yet I knew that about you :D.

      I love this James... I'm sharing it! I'm happy to be back on your pages dear! (oh and up, awesome and beautiful too!)

      Cat

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Laila,

      Thanks so much for the visits.I really appreciate that:)

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      lol Sir Colin ,I like to be treated badly on bed too :)

    • LailaK profile image

      LailaK 

      5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Your poems are phenomenal! Deep and phenomenal! Voted up!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      ....but then again, I've been a born again virgin for so long (don't ask) that I wouldn't mind having a woman treat me badly in bed, lol.

      Up again at 8:33am on a nice sunny day with first cup of coffee, two well fed pussycats and the Gregorian chants

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Sir Colin,

      Thanks so much for taking time out to read this narrative poem.I am glad you liked it.I just felt that women are treated badly in bed by their men.As soon as they get what they want,they left without thinking if their women are satisfied or not.

      James.

      ps.Thanks for the compliment:)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      5 years ago

      Lovely writing here Sir James and your narrative poetry style here flows with such vivid cinematic detail I can see it all in my mind while reading your crestfallen words. Only the great ones can write like this.

      Hubbravo from the epi-man and your Canadian buddy Colin at lake erie time ontario canada 2:50am

    • James-wolve profile imageAUTHOR

      Tijani Achamlal 

      5 years ago from Morocco

      Thanks Debbie.I am glad you liked it :)

      Many Blessings to you!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 

      5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      James... wow this is so deep.. what a poem... amazing.. my dear..

      voting and sharing

      deb

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