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The Door to Nowhere: My Story (Part 3)

Updated on February 19, 2015

Promises is now standing by the office door leaning against the wall, one eye on me and one on the door. Still on the couch, I close my eyes. The details of my dream pour into my consciousness like it was yesterday, like it was real. Just closing my eyes takes me back to my childhood friends as they, one by one come out from behind the rocks and approach the Gorilla who is beckoning them to come out and play. He's come down from his perch and they are chasing him around the arena as he lopes, back and forth then up the little stone mountain. The kids are now all over him climbing on his lap, hugging on him and giggling as he sits on his perch with them all around sitting on the cracks and crevices of his mountain.

Feeling left out, I come out from my sideline hide and start to climb up to play with the gorilla. My best friend Ricky, is next to me. Everyone is happy giggling and stroking the gorilla when this feeling of fear comes upon us all. The Gorilla is looking mean, he starts pushing and grabbing at my friends. They become scared and laughter turns into crying. Children are climbing down the mount, and running for the safety of their rocks.

Ricky & I jump off the mount as the Gorilla stands on the peak and pounds his chest, glaring directly at us. We take off running for the pillars as the Gorilla leaps from the top and in our direction. We're heading for the the pillars and down the long never ending hallways of the coliseum, running for our lives sensing all the way the Gorilla is on our trail. Adrenaline is surging through our veins and it seems that the hallway goes on forever, we can't get out. Just when we can't go on any farther because of exhaustion we come upon a cedar chest. This cedar chest is familiar, it is from my bedroom at home. Ricky runs by but I stop. Somehow I know this cedar chest is our salvation. I call Ricky back, and we open the cedar chest. We both can see the Gorilla far off coming down the hallways . Ricky says "What are we doing," and I reach into the cedar chest and pull out two inflatable horses. We blow them up, then they turn into real horses, we mount them, and we gallop away just in time as the raging Gorilla almost catches up to us. On the horse I sense a deep feeling of relief and security, we're riding with the wind ... and then I wake up.

All of that dream, that memory I replayed in my mind in what was only the closing for a brief moment of my eyes as I lay on the couch. I'm anxious to recount this to the Doctor when he comes back. I think, does it mean something? Maybe he can shed light on what it means, if anything at all.

Then Promises breaks the silence and says, "Luke why did you not swallow your medicine when I gave it to you? You know that you need it. Immediately I feel anger rise up within me, I need it? I need it? I blurt out "Why do you think I need it?"

Promises, "Well,doesn't it make you relax? Doesn't it make it easier for you to cope? Tell me it doesn't. You know I've seen you when you are off your medicine, you are not a happy person."

Relaxed now I'm strangely feeling embolden, "That shows what you know. What makes you the judge of whether I am happy or not, is that not something only I can determine, MY own happiness? Maybe I'm happy when I'm not happy." As I get up off the couch I go on "Maybe because being unhappy is the lesser of two evils, being unhappy or being controlled, being free"

now I'm in his face

"or having to kiss your ass!"

"Sit back down Luke, If you know what's good for you, you'd better Sit Down Now!" I feel inhibited, but rage is boiling deep within me like an internal gas pressure forcing the magma of my discontent to the surface of my psyche looking to erupt through any weakness.

My psyche? huh, it is nothing if it isn't weak.

Right then a knock comes at the door, Promises turns toward the door to open it.

This is my chance to cold cock him, slam him into the door as he falls to the floor, I quickly lock the door and begin to kick the crap out of him, but he's not out cold!

He crawls away while I pick up an end table and smash it on his head.

He lays there motionless while I bath in the satisfaction of releasing my rage and the thought of how it would feel if I had really done this,

but I didn't,

I just couldn't take my chance.

Promises opens the door, it's Lies who says, "How long you goin to be here? Where's the Doc." Promises looks at me standing there, day dreaming of basking in the aftermath of my imagined revolting deed.

" I have to baby sit this nut case 'til the doc comes back...Sit down Luke!"

"Lies, what are you doing now?"

Wandering back to the couch and glaring at those two as I sit down I privately marvel at the emotions I just experienced, this is not normal when I am on medication.

"Nothin," says Lies "just waiting around for you. We have to do our rounds in 20 minutes."

Promises looks out the door down the hall, "Oh, here comes the Doc, I can go with you now."

I watch as Promises and Lies ...

... go out, and Doc enters the office door, another..."Door to Nowhere" (as you will see in Part 4)


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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hmm....stop it or you will even tempt me to go on and read the following parts to this story as well.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 19 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Besarian...This was all before we convinced Tsad to get some help.....he's a lot better now~~~~so, you can only imagine how very serious his issues WERE!

    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 19 months ago

      Not sure I know what is going on here, but looking forward to finding out!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hmm...I have never even heard of "Atlas Shrugged" I am sorry to admit. I have heard of "Ulysses" by james Joyce, though haven't read that either. I have read the original "Odyssey" and "Iliad" by Homer however. Currently my time is stretched between reading a novel written by a fellow hubber and trying to read at least one hub of each of the people I follow here each week (I think that's around 430 I follow)...then real life sometime's occurs in between reading, and occasionally I find time to write something myself.) I may even get back to reading your future chapters of this story when time permits. Keep smiling :)

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Yes Jodah, short attention spans, I considered that so I try to keep each part under 1500 words, however this thing, I can feel it in my bones, may turn out to be as long as "Atlas Shrugged" and no doubt as disliked by all the critics as it was when it came out.

      But did you know that book has turned out to be prophetic and today almost 58 years later has had more copies published than any other book except the Bible!

      Did you know, Modern Library 1998 board of authors and scholars found Ulysses by James Joyce rated #1 on the list of their top 100 best novels of the 20th century and Atlas was not even on the list. Modern Library's 1998 nonscientific online public poll of the 100 best novels of the 20th century found Atlas rated #1 while Ulysses by James Joyce was not even on that list of top 100. Amazing dichotomy between the "elite" and the "public", wouldn't you say? Makes one wonder, no it doesn't, really, it is obvious, just who is full of it. And please, no one should infer from this that The Door to Nowhere is comparable to Atlas Shrugged, other than maybe how long it will be.

      (I digress)

      Jonah, before you go, I'm reminded of a wise bit of advise I heard somewhere along the way,

      "Always good to leave someone smiling."

      Who was it that said that? hmmmmm, Hint, his name starts with a "J".....and ends with an "odah"? well anyway since I heard it I am trying to stand by it, so here we go, this one's for you, Jodah. That is if you can rest up that attention span are going to need it (I did put in an intermission just for the attention span challenged), if not up to it skip the beginning (which you've read before) and start where you see "Jodah". I guarantee you will be left smiling (ah hemm, that is not a money (or attention span) back guarantee).

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I have the UB40 Promises and Lies cassette somewhere Tsadjatko. Was and am still a Cat Stevens fan, or should I say Yosef. This challenge certainly inspired your fiction writing but unfortunately I don't think I can keep up with the story. It is becoming too deep and meaningful for me an my short attention span. Good luck with the rest. I am sure Paula will keep you company until the end. Cheers.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Thanks both of you, but unlike other things I've written that aren't fiction I still don't know where this is going or coming from for that matter. Usually writing about anything factual or humorous I know what I want to say, what points to make and am finished when I make them.

      This short story challenge is totally different, I am learning as I go not to preconceive what I want to write but to just go with the flow. Once I figured that out I got past the first chapter but now don't know when or where it will end, just writing 'til the cows come home, though I don't have any cows (see, profundity is just spontaneous now).

      LikeUB40, I just did a couple Google image searches using different phrases from my text to find some pics for this episode to make it interesting. "Promises and lies" was one phrase and the only images that came up were of a UB40 logo! I went to a page the image came from and found the video...I never heard of this song nor the group UB40 (I had heard the song Red Red Wine long ago but I thought that was by the Rascals, I was a Cat Stevens fan back then).

      So hope I'll see you here again, ummm, when the cows come home?

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      I enjoyed the story. Found it pretty insightful. Thanks

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Not only is your story building more mystery and intrigue, is pulling your readers in to protect your character,who is creating a lovable man, unfairly tortured by Promises and Lies......

      The Video is perfect! I love UB40....their biggest hit, "Red Red Wine," was being Universally sung everywhere in the '80's! So popular in England, they're an 8-man multicultural regae group and I love their music.! Thanks for the memories.

      Keep the story's really intriguing!...UP+++