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The Effect Of A Positive Mindset
To those in search of happiness,
When I was in grade 12 I realized that the person I was, wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I was not a bad person, but I was very unhappy and it took me 16 years to see this. I am blessed it only took me 16 years to recognize this because I encounter people every single day that are clearly unhappy. You are the people I’m reaching out to.
My brain was constantly flooded with negative thoughts. I was always worrying about what other people thought of me and everything I could be doing better. I let the weight of the past and future affect me in the present. No matter what I did, it was never enough. I created a monster that fed off stress and fear and I nourished it every day. I had no one telling me any of these things, it was simply just the way I thought. I was the only person who believed I wasn’t enough and then, it clicked. I was the one feeding the monster, so why don’t I just stop?
This was the breakthrough to my path of happiness. From there, I created a list called “The Person I Want to Be”. There were eleven things on this list: graceful, patient, laid back, attentive, fun, honest, do not envy, assess before reacting, take advantage of opportunities, be happy with myself and enjoy the small things. Now, I certainly have not accomplished all these things but, I started going about life with the list always in the back of my mind. Eventually, I started to notice a change. I slowly stopped caring about other people’s opinions of me and I began to like myself.
Once I understood that I was capable of molding my brain to think however I wanted it to, my life continued to better. I became a positive thinker. If you’re always looking for the upside in a situation, you will always find one. The same goes with negative thinking and that is where so many people get trapped. They get trapped in their own minds. I’ve been there, I know what it is like, but I also know that it is possible to get out of there.
The number one issue I see in unhappy people is that they depend on others to make them happy. If you are searching for YOUR happiness in someone else, you’ll never find it. Happiness comes from within. This was a very challenging obstacle for me to overcome. Loneliness was my enemy, as it is to many of us. It’s hard to love yourself when you feel like no one else does. This is when you must get away from the negativity into the positive mindset. Remind yourself of everyone who cares about you and everything you have to be thankful in your life.
The second largest issue I notice, is stressing over things we can’t control. Shit happens, not everything is always going to go the way you want it to. This is a fact of life that you must accept. Worrying about yesterday or tomorrow isn’t going to change anything, it’s only going to make you more anxious. Your perspective on life is what is going to make the difference. If you are only focused on the present moment, then what do you have to worry about?
The people you surround yourself with will have a major impact. When those around you are supportive and always encouraging you to be the best version of yourself, it helps to make the person you’re trying to be more attainable. I cannot express how fortunate I am to have such amazing friends. Seeing them practice the person I aspire to be, pushes me to try even harder. Immerse yourself in an environment that promotes positive thinking because it is contagious. If your friends don’t influence you to be better, then why are they your friends? Find people who you identify with, it will make the journey much more enjoyable.
You can say you want to be happy, but you can’t be lazy and expect to wake up one day and all your troubles will be gone. Don’t complain if you’re not willing to work to change it. Your mindset is something you always have to be aware of. Know when you’re proud of the progress you’ve made and know where there is room for improvement.
The biggest struggle I face presently is remembering that it is okay to breakdown sometimes. Bad days still exist; you can’t prevent shitty things from happening. Life is going to take its course and no one can change that. What you can change is your perspective. The list I initially created continues to grow and it will for the rest of my life. I still have a long way to go, however, I am very proud of myself for the progress I’ve made.
I can honestly say I am happy and it breaks my heart how few people can say the same. I want to encourage everyone to be the best version of themselves. I am forever grateful for all the people who helped me get to such a peaceful state of mind and I want to spread the positive vibes. You have the power to be whoever you want; I believe in you!