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The Facts of Life: You Take the Good with the Bad - That's About It
The Facts of Life Theme Song
I was talking to my daughter tonight about a baseball signing she attended at our local mall. She mentioned that the people waiting for autographs had to split into two lines. One line had a meet-and-greet with 3 certain ball players and the other line had a meet-and-greet with three other ball players. Because of the number of people at the event you could only meet one trio of players. My daughter said it was humorous because the young girls all lined up to meet a certain young, attractive player and the real fans lined up to meet the projected next big player. Then Bette laughed and said the poor girls who chose the line with the young, attractive player also had to meet-and-greet the ugliest, goofiest looking player on the team. My response was “oh, they had to take the good with the bad”. THEN I started singing the theme song to the Facts of Life, a television sitcom that ran in America from August 24, 1979 to May 7, 1988.
I started thinking about all the things I didn’t learn from that television show. All the things that are a part of life but that rarely get discussed. And so here is my list of the facts of life.
1. There will always be someone better than you no matter how hard you try, so be happy with trying your best and knowing you gave it a shot.
2. Everyone poops. Really, they do. So don’t be ashamed to do the deed at work, school or a friend’s house. You’ll only make yourself miserable and get a belly ache from it in the long run,
3. Anyone who has a dog uses it as a vacuum at one time or another. Cereal box was empty except for the bazillion teensy crumbs? Your toddler knocked it over? No big deal. Heeeeeeeeere, Fido.
4. When someone says “what are you doing?” and you respond with “nothing” you are a big fat liar pants. You are, at any given point in time, doing several things. You are holding yourself erect so you don’t fall over, you are breathing so you don’t fall over, and you are thinking about doing nothing now that you gave that answer.
Grammar Lesson Anyone?
5. ESL students have better grammar than most Americans. It’s true. I use prepositions at the end of sentences and my foreign friends all point it out to me. My favorite is “where’s my coat at?” And my friend says “No AT, your coat isn’t AT anything. You simply say ‘where’s my coat?’”
6. If you’re a parent you will always consider letting your kid win at games. Even if that kid is 30 and you’re playing bowling on the Wii.
7. The old saying "Well if you forgot what you were going to tell it must not have been important" is TRUE! I would venture to say that 98% of the time when I finally remember what I wanted to say it really was lame.