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The Fat Lady? She Did Sing, After All!
Many and various are the "fat ladies" who sang
Who would know!? There was a Fat Lady!
One of the most popular sayings in sports over the last 40 or so years is, "It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings." Although first use of this over the air has been attributed to Dan Cook, the line has been a southern proverb much earlier than that, as, "The Carnival (or the Church) ain't over until the fat lady has sung." Whether or not there was a specific overweight femme who sung around the south in the early days was not known. Southern belles may not be greatly known for their nightingale qualities, but many are well covered, so the choice would have been limitless.
The evocative line has been used by many celebrities, including Humphrey Bogart in one of his movies - I forget which.
In any event, many may have wondered if this poor diva would have to hold her breath for all time without ever finishing her song. I am about to explode this myth and offer surcease.
Yes this scribe found some old jottings brought to light after the New Orleans hurricane, which indicated there was a fat lady who sang - and she possessed powers that those blithely repeating this old mantra might well heed!
The story was thus, title and verse supplied by your chronicler.
"Who would have believed it could happen?
Weeks, months, years flashed by.
She sat there like eternity:
Hands folded; still as the grave.
Cast as one, the massive Steinway and her.
Then one shrill Autumn evening;
My breath catching in a sob,
I saw it had begun.
Aghast, I watched the tiny tic, tic, tic,
Commencing at the larded temples;
Travel hideously down the vinous cheeks.
The porcine jowls began to quiver;
The bolstered bosom heaved;
The cracked lips puffed - parted.
Somewhere a chord sounded.
Mesmerized, I watched the beringed hands
Crawl along the stained ivories.
With a sigh of resignation
I put aside my sheet music;
Carefully filed my tattered scores;
Crossed over to my rumpled pallet
Lay down with arms folded on my chest.
It was over; the Fat Lady had begun to sing."
(from “Charged Particles,” copyright filed).