The Fear of Making Decisions
“Please do make your decisions in life and feel confident that they are right. However, if fate is involved, feel just as confident even if they aren’t.”
― C. Elizabeth, Absolute Obsession
Romance writer C Elizabeth is certainly confident, despite a relatively short writing career. The writer of short novella Absolute Obsession has many creative outlets, including photography, cooking and of course, writing.
Decisions are a pain to make, for many understandable reasons. We have difficulty making them every day.
Yet not making them creates a scenario of guaranteed failure. Being more decisive, as with all matters of personal development, is gradual, deliberate and in most cases, certainly painful.
1. Why we fear making decisions.
That pain causes us to balk when we have to make choices. It comes in different forms.
We are brought up not to fail. Well-intentioned parents, with their desire to set us up for success, tell us that it is undesirable. The social circles in which we interact discount us when we do not make successes of ourselves. The fear of such ostracism is enough to make us balk at making tough choices.
To add, we doubt ourselves. We are afraid to embrace new concepts. We fear the challenge of new ideas. Our ever-present lack of knowledge holds us back from moving forward.
Humans need the security of the tried and tested. They need to understand the waters in which they sail so that they can charter them.
We fear the responsibility of dealing with the consequences of an inevitably sinking ship.
The Key to Better Decision Making
2. The consequences of indecision
Ironically, the ship does sink when we refuse to make these necessary, though fearful, choices.
If we do not make them, we never move forward. Our growth is paralysed.
We are unable to cope when change is inevitable, with no way to run to higher ground when a tsunami strikes.
Not making the decisions you have to actually makes you more insecure. Though every decision involves risk, not making it guarantees failure.
Not making the choice between abandoning your home and moving to higher ground means certain fatality in a tsunami. We cannot stay still and retreat within a shell.
3. How do we become more decisive?
How, then, do we become more decisive? Stability is never assured when we weigh our decisions, then painfully make them.
No matter how we try to avoid the crushing wave of defeat, it comes. Pounding. Hard.
It is a rogue, but we can counter it when we know what is making us indecisive. When we understand our fears, we can better address them.
We can start to develop the tools to counter these frightening anxieties. Perhaps it is the fear of losing savings in an investment. It is better, then, to make a smaller one.
Then, developing healthy self-belief, without arrogance, does not hurt. Belief that you are capable, no matter the naysaying, always pushes us to positive rewards.
Practicing a little positive visualisation helps in this area, without a doubt. If we visualize the rewards of our choices, we attract them.
It helps to have a concrete plan and not be impulsive.
And then, embrace failure and mistakes. They will be there, perennial nuisances that they are.
Mirror Cinquain Poem: Retreating Turtle
Turtle
Head drawn in shell
Fears tender flesh exposed
And the oncoming flood of tide
Weighted
Cowers
Its wrecked shell covered in old weeds
It stays blessed within
Still protected
It rots.
4. Conclusion
Make a choice. You are not friends with the turtle that retreats within its shell.
Other poems by Michelle Liew
- Savoring the moment
Savoring important moments. - Hands up for poetry
Let's celebrate National Poetry Month. - Writing a Cinquain poem
How to write a Cinquain - The Rogue Wave, a sonnet on overcoming loneliness an...
On overcoming feelings of loneliness and the discomfort of being in crowds. - In the turbulent sea of humanity
Being human is facing ups and downs - an eternal struggle to be kind, to be generous, and to be patient. - Viva La Vida: The Music and Chords of Life
This is a poem celebrating music's ability to express our every emotion, quell our fears, and most of all, give life.
Comments
I never thought of myself of showing fear when making decisions. I always do what I think is right for me. You have created an interesting and helpful hub on decision making.
It's so difficult to make decisions sometimes - and it's worse when there's no one but yourself to blame if it wasn't the right one. Well written and pithy.
I'm a person who always struggles with making decisions. I always need people to help me with making decisions. When I make a decision I often tend to regret it. That's so bad. I try to work on that but it's such a damn habit. Thank you for sharing this interesting and well-written hub.
Self-doubt is a tough one to overcome. The indecision that results from it can tear families apart and wreck jobs.
Beautifully written and to me covered well some essential truths. The Maths guy? well .....
I am one of those people that don't like change. Without change we just stay stagnant though with the same old life.
I like the turtle, as well. I know many folks just like this. Thanks for sharing! ;-)
Nice hub and very clever of you to bring in Turtle to make your point.
As you said many people are not decisive and sometimes they think and think a lot but are unable to decide.
Voted up as interesting!
I read somewhere once that the key to success is to fail faster. Also, while I believe in making good decisions sometimes it does help to marinate on a plan for awhile to see if it will work so there is a balance.
It is difficult to make decisions at the best of times. I was reminded of the saying damned if you do damned if you don't. When it comes to decision making my hubby and I do it together. So to say share the burden. Making decisions when called for online is an entirely different matter and often I find my self taking more time than necessary and have a time or two almost missed an important deadline for something I might or might not want to be a part of. Passing this on.
I have people in my family who are terrified of making important decisions, so much so that they literally become paralyzed. That's not me. I just make them and deal with it. :) Very original way of making your point here, Michelle.
You did this very well, Michelle. The use of the turtle photos is clever in making a point. I'm sure many will learn to make good decisions from following your advice.
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