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The Fiscal Cliff Solution

Updated on November 24, 2012

Focusing on Solutions

Every four years, members of the United States have gone through the election process since 1789. Millions of dollars are spent on campaign funds, mud slinging and advertising. The economic crisis continues to build while we waste funds on deciding who should be the "chief decider" of our country.

Is it mass hysteria that causes all of us to get caught up in the political rat race? At the current state of affairs it feels more like a necessary evil.

I propose a complete change in the system that will take effect immediately. We need to throw all the old political science strategies out the window and play a new game. America loves reality television and this would be reality at its finest!


The Fiscal Cliff Game

A simple solution to the nation's problems could be solved on daytime television. There will be no need for campaigning, speech writers, republican parties or democratic parties. Save the billions of dollars spent on the clothing politicians sport to financing the tour. No need for secret service plans for travel. No more having to memorize what your party stands for or against, it will be all about what is best for the country as a whole nation.

I propose we do away with the Presidential tours and gala events, dinners, hand shaking and cheek pinching. We can just run our election on television like a game show on daytime t.v. We can keep it simple, honest and put all that cash saved toward the national deficit.

American's won't have to wait in lines to cast a vote, cheaters won't have to figure out how to rig voting machines and no one will have to waste time on a recount. No more distinctive parties of reds and blues. It will be all for one and one for all. All "Legitimate" candidates for government jobs can apply.

Q & A Sessions - So Simple, Straightforward!


The Decider

How Many States Comprise the U.S. today?

How To Play

First it should be televised kind of like "Hunger Games." Whoever desires, regardless of their current physical or financial condition or location can tune in for the fun. Anyone who chooses to run for political office can show up at the door and prove they are the best person for the job.

The only requirement is to bring identification and a transcript from the college they attended. I do think it's very important that the leader of the United States has an education in history, politics, human anatomy and biology. The current B.S. just isn't enough education, apparently.

Next, they have to agree to allow me to administer a polygraph exam while the host of the show, Anderson Cooper, asks them a series of questions. We can start out really simple like, "how do you spell potato?" Then the questions will get a little harder like, "how many states comprise the United States of America?" Three strikes and they're out!

Kathy Griffin is going to co-host and she gets to ferret out all the wicked stuff. Kathy can ask questions like, "are you for the straights or the gays?" or "did you like to kill small animals as a child?"

She won't hold back! No need to ask your back scratchers how to answer those questions, just be honest and tell your own truth.

If they get through round one, the questions will be tougher. Such as, "who wrote The Federalist Papers?"

The leader of the country should be extremely well informed about history and subjects such law and the legal system and current affairs. If they are the right person for the job, it should be no problem.

To make it fair - we can offer a lifeline. It would only be fair to use George W. Bush for this position, being the past chief decider. If they get stuck, they can phone GWB for help, after all he even has experience.

Additionally they are allowed to say, "I don't know." if they do not know the answer to a question posed to the candidate.

Instead of "Ask the Audience" we could change it to "Ask Congress." The audience can be made up of "congress" men and women. These people will be educated in things such as law and the legal system, social problems and economic reform.

If the candidate passes the q & a round, they move up to the personality part. During this phase of the game they have an opportunity to come clean about any previous indiscretions or immoral mistakes. If they don't confess, the audience can call in and sling it on national t.v. where the candidate gets to make their defense case for the public opinion.

Redistribution of Wealth Plan

After the candidate makes it through the intelligence and personality sections they will move right along to the bathing suit and talent contest.

The winners get to keep their jobs (or are elected into office) and the losers have to donate their pension toward the national deficit and get a push off the proverbial fiscal cliff.

Consolation prizes will consist of a motor home and directions to the nearest public assistance office where they can get in line for food stamps and welfare until they can find suitable employment.

Keep it Real!

"This is a frightening statistic. More people vote in American Idol than in any U.S. election." ~Rush Limbaugh


Submit a Comment

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Ha! Hi Sharon - hey I'd vote for you for President! You'd be terrific! Your smart, honest, know how to add and subtract:) hahaha. Thanks - yeah I had this vision of this game and could not help myself:) lmao

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Oh heck no, not me! I want to enjoy my life...I say lets scratch the whole president race and get us a decider that knows some shit without having to ask for answers. I mean GWB? Serious how the hell did he graduate? You know he wasn't doing his own homework or something! Hahahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Oh I would NOT want to be President Vicki! Ahhh! No way...I insist on having a job I love and I am it that good of a liar:) hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Yep. It's pretty pathetic to me. We use this whole race for class as an excuse to spend, spend, spend some more. So ridiculous, the costs for travel for just ONE candidate could probably feel a whole village for a week!

    Thank you!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Sunnie! Watching the election makes me sick. I see them all dressing up in clothes that cost thousands of dollars and wonder if we just cut the clothing cost for candidates - how much money that would save? I heard one candidate suggest that American families stay home rather than eat out one night so we could contribute to her next dress...'er sorry campaign! For shame!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Lord! Haha...I swear this would be more fun and way more productive! Hilarious:) thanks for enjoying the joke with me:)

  • Sharyn's Slant profile image

    Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

    LOVE IT! I want more. Upset that it ended :( When I think of the term "fiscal cliff" - it reminds me of that "cliff hanger" game on The Price is Right. You don't answer correctly and boom, your gone. Thanks for the giggles I desperately needed here at almost 2 a.m. What else do you have up your sleeve Kel?

  • tammyswallow profile image

    Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

    Realhousewife for president! This is a brilliant idea. Every president running for re-election is so distracted by the actual race it makes you wonder how things are getting done in Washington. You have my vote. :)

  • Victoria Lynn profile image

    Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

    RealHousewife for President! Way to go, Kelly. This is both funny and brilliant. I love your videos. LOL. Every vote possible!

  • Sinea Pies profile image

    Sinea Pies 5 years ago from Northeastern United States

    You've got a point. In a way, they're stepping closer to this by spending more time on entertainment TV than ever before. It's becoming a popularity contest and steering away from real qualifications for the most powerful job in the world. Sad, isn't it?

  • profile image

    Sunnie Day 5 years ago

    I have an idea...I think you should run for president next time around. :) I love your thoughts and ideas. I agree the money spent on campaigns could have paid our debt down immensely..surely a more cost effective way of campaigning..Great hub, very funny but yet totally on track..Loved it.


  • Lord De Cross profile image

    Joseph De Cross 5 years ago

    Funny as hell, where some politician are heading no matter what. Your ideas are better than any political reality show. I better don't start giving ideas to the networks! You are da bomb! "Plop!"

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Ardie! Too funny...sometimes the funniest hubs come about in the strangest ways. KG is hilarious and if anyone would get on a stage and be naked honest...wouldn't it be her?! Hahaha

    Hey and I did want to mention that at least she understands women's reproductive parts...ok well just the legitimate parts:) hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Amy!! Good to see ya St. Lou!

    I was laughing to myself about how almost know one realized the fiscal cliff was sneaking up on it's all we are hearing about. Suddenly the tax increases are looming...ugh!

    Then I wondered if any one person in politics could survive in the world if given food stamps and welfare. HA. HA. HA.

    Thanks for taking the time to laugh with me about it - at least we have that!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi Drbj! No way! I'm not getting in the race - I'm a watcher:) lol. I would NOT want that job...the president never gets to say anything he wants - he's too busy regurgitating what his peeps tell him to say.

    Politicians are another breed and most of them are in for the wrong reasons, I think:) just sayin'...hahaha

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Rich! Lol. I couldn't help myself. It's sad that this would probably work better than the current party games, huh?

  • rcrumple profile image

    Rich 5 years ago from Kentucky

    Kelly - I love this! All that's missing is the "walking of the plank" for the losers, and the guillotine for the members of Congress that are called upon, but don't know the correct answers either! Where's Madame DeFarge when you need her? lol Great job!

  • Ardie profile image

    Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

    Kelly! LOL You are hysterical. I dont know what I love the most about your plan...probably Kathy Griffin :) She's great and I dig her hair and abs. Seriously, I think your plan is the best one I've seen yet.

  • Amy Becherer profile image

    Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I get a vicarious thrill when you kick ass and take names, Real. The Redistribution of Wealth Plan, in order to pass the reality test, needs a crowd of onlookers, viciously shaming them for applying for welfare and food stamps. They need to get a real feel for how the wealthy see them; as losers with their hands out who need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, instead of whining and feeling sorry for themselves. Yeah, that's the ticket. Brilliant, RealHousewife, absolutely brilliant.

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

    Well here's my vote, Kelly. If you choose to run on the platform you so ingeniously proposed - as a contestant on a game show, you will be elected unanimously.

    Here's your new campaign slogan: "Vote for Kelly as the Chief Decider. She KNOWS how many states there are!"

    You have been awarded a very large UP for your clever commentary and hilarious videos. Brava!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Mhatter - you know my first thought was, "that white house would be one big bi*&^ to clean." I don't like having even three toilets to clean Mr.! LOL

    Thanks so much:)

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hi David - that's my husband's name so it's really weird to respond to another David:) lol I got confused for a minute and didn't know if I should be making a "to do" list or griping at you. lmao

    It really makes me sick to thing about how much money is completely wasted on campaign funds. Every four years like madness - and just one dress of M.O's would pay for food for a needy preschool for a week. Seriously. What's that some people claim about insanity being the definition of repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting another outcome? hmmmmmm.....I pause...

    lol - thanks so much for the comment!

  • Mhatter99 profile image

    Martin Kloess 5 years ago from San Francisco

    When you running for office? Great laugh (your article not Washington). Thank you

  • David Warren profile image

    David Warren 5 years ago from Nevada

    I'M ALL IN! My wife will love this! Although I still waste time politically my wife has little interest in the system other than bashing the ridiculous amounts of money wasted by candidates.

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey Ts! Thank you so much:) I had a fun time thinking this one up. I bet it would be eye opening to e to just ask prospective candidates any random question we want without having to ask someone else what to say?

    I'd much rather hear a politician say "I don't know" instead of churning out a stupid answer too.

    Hi Lela! Too funny - I don't know if "In Living Color" was on in your area but "Wanda" is one of my favorite characters! Outrageous! You can find more of those on youtube if you ever need a chuckle:)

    Yeah, I agree - a voting box sounds fair to me. And right - as soon as they screw up - out they go. Easy and Simple. Like we housewives like it:) lol

  • Austinstar profile image

    Lela 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

    OMFG! That Dating Game Video is a SCREAM! Loved it, love the game show concept for choosing BFD Deciders and yes, the audience should be the viewing public at all times. Just like a SS number, we should all be assigned a voting box when we are born that is genetically armed somehow so no one else can use it. Everything gets an immediate vote. We could vote daily.

    We could also vote to kick someone out if they misbehave.

  • tsmog profile image

    Tim Mitchell 5 years ago from Escondido, CA

    Keeping in theme while spilling a bit of the truth. That pizza for dinner while reading tasted better than steak tar tar at the Waldorf Astoria. The oddity is I never finished the pizza, seems I laughed much more than I chewed. From the bottom of my heart and no lie, "I'm proud of you, RealHouseWife."

    Not sure of the value of that little speech (mine not yours - I see diamonds with yours), while not being an expert or anything like that, this article reminds me of Sutters Mill, even though there are arches and I ain't talking McDonalds either.


  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey MO!! I couldn't resist once I thought of it...I mean really - it would work! How better to judge a person for a political job than in the public? Yah! lol

  • profile image

    Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

    Genius. You are a genius. I'm all in!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Hey carol! I think about all that money they spend so needlessly on those fancy clothes and dresses. My goodness - it costs a fortune for those people to look good, doesn't it? That is insane! Then think about the travel and hotel bills and service people - now we do this every four years!!!! Insanity! And people call me crazy! ha!

    Thanks glad you got to share a laugh with me:)

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Bill - my husband was laughing at the things I come up with:) LOL But heck - it would be a lot more fun and probably insightful than the current system, huh? hahah

    Susan - I think your opinion counts a ton! I did want to stretch and include the whole world as one for all and all for one, but yeah, this is nutty enough! haha Thank you!!

  • carol7777 profile image

    carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

    Very clever and creative...And look at all the money saved. This was one of the worst fiascos in much negative stuff and so many dollars spent. I will be first in line.

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    Sounds like you've got it all figured out :) I think you should run. I'd vote for you. Oh wait can Canadians take part in this too?

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

    LMAO....Oh my God this is funny! The truly funny part of it is that it makes as much, if not more, sense as our current system. I'm all for it; start a petition and I'll be the first to sign it. Great job Kelly!