The Geek's Lament.
The Geek’s Lament
I'll never meet an aiel or a ranger of the north.
Never defeat an empire.
Never speak with a wolf.
Never fly an X-wing.
Never ride an ent.
Never cast a fireball.
Never ride a dragon.
Never lift an X-wing.
Never win a joust.
Never ignite a lightsaber.
Never learn to wield a sword in battle.
Never prepare for atmospheric re-entry.
Never track the orcs.
Never lead the charge.
Never rally to the banner.
Never hold the line.
Never heed the call to arms.
Never avenge my father.
Never rescue the princess.
Never charge my power armor.
Never find the grail.
Never seek passage to Alderan.
Never defend Helms Deep.
Never address the Council of Elerond.
Never live off lambas bread.
Never draw the sword from the stone.
Never flee from a balrog.
Never hide in my elven cloak.
Never turn Vader from the Dark Side.
Never make the shot down the Deathstar’s thermal exhaust port.
Never explore new lands.
Never be knighted.
Never join the Fellowship of the Ring.
Leia never liked Han as a friend.
Arwen never moved to Florida.
Gimli never told Legolas he had a band thing to go to….. every day.
Data and Geordi never had to call Tech support.
Chewbacca never had to go to French class.
Elves never have to get glasses.
Space Marines never have poor hand eye coordination.
Arthur never had to leave Excalibur outside because it was dangerous.
Obi-wan never gave Luke grades or progress reports.
Luke never had to show Yoda his GPA, SAT, or Personal statement.
Sam didn’t have to have a signed permission slip to go with Frodo.