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The Genetically Altered Tomatoes vs. The Creature From The Black Lagoon
The creature from the black lagoon gave his wife a wink and sat down to a plate of fried tomatoes that he had been told would be extremely tasty because they had been genetically altered to grow big and delicious. He had a long hard day in the swamp wrestling with alligators for their skin for his new alligator wallet venture and sure was hungry.
His wife held her breath as he took his first bite. The expression on his face changed from one of anticipation to that of puzzlement. The tomato was surprisingly flavorless. He wondered whether it was really a tomato at all or was he getting paranoid. Then there was a rumbling sound and he let go with a gut wrenching howl.
He got up and ran to the back yard and into the swamp, past the kiddie swings and sandbox, past the bugs, past the alligators in the swamp and into the Out House. He unbuttoned the flap on the seat of his scaly green skin suit and sat down over the big hole with the smile his little girl painted around it.
The entire state of Florida turned brown. The wild animals all died and the hurricanes refused to enter Florida ever again.
"I'm a tough cookie," thought the creature from the black lagoon, " but nobody wins them all. I guess I better not insult anymore genetically altered tomatoes."
His stomach felt terrible for a week. It hurt so much he went to church and got religion. He never ate another genetically altered tomato and turned down an offer to endorse them on the Internet. But he is considering feeding them to the alligators. But he doesn't want to be mean to the alligators. He just wants to turn them into wallets.
They all lived happily ever after.
Image by wickedneuron via Flickr