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Are You Comfortable When Nobody is Speaking?

Updated on January 5, 2012

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Piece of Quiet

We have a very large family, although as we got older we dispersed from the house. That always happens, or is supposed to.

Any time there are two, three or more people gathered into one space, there is the need to communicate. How we do so varies from family to family or group to group. Even at work, there is a group of people that get used to each other, and it ends up that some of us talk more than others, or that some are happiest not contributing to the conversation but prefer to listen. This is the rarer personality, but every group has one.

From household to household, the noise or volume coming from each particular place is different. Sometimes you can walk into a place and find that those person in it are just as comfortable and content to enjoy the company of others, and the peacefulness of their surroundings at the same time. Family life does afford us with that time when everyone is enjoying the solace found in a good book, working on some sewing or maybe a project on the computer. It gives us the quiet we sometimes need to restore the reserves we need when we have kids. It gives us the time to unwind, or loose the stress we have built up through the day, and gives us all the time to think.

Yet it would seem that there are some amongst us that do not seem to need this quiet time, or at the least have not figured out to use the quiet time that is right before them if they would allow it. There are a couple of people in our family that seem to be outright uncomfortable with even a short gap in the conversation, and try their best to fill the gap with any kind of conversation at all. Stories that have been told over and again, or talking to the dog. Baby talk, or on occasion even those who bark if given the space to do so.

If you will pay attention, you may notice that those people who prefer silence to useless babble, will not be using the television for background sound. There are no cartoons filling the air with s creams, whistles, and horns inducing the laughter of youngsters. The stereo is off, leaving the loud beat of drums and squealing of guitars out of the area, although they still may be enjoying the company of a beer.

It is good manners, and also something to recognize when entering a room, whether or not it is an atmosphere of celebration, or of peaceful silence. If the conversation falls to a lull, and there isn't any conversing filling in and perhaps the only thing uncomfortable with the lack of talk is within yourself, not anybody else present. It is true that some feel that when nobody is talking it is considered to be called an "uncomfortable lull in the conversation", and perhaps there is such a thing when it is only a couple out on a first date .

Don't be uncomfortable or self conscious about several people being silent  in a room together. If they are alright with it, perhaps you should just learn to blend in and make it your place to enjoy the peacefulness also.


Submit a Comment

  • profile image


    7 years ago


  • ddsurfsca profile imageAUTHOR

    deb douglas 

    7 years ago from Oxnard

    Sometimes I like to talk if there is something to talk about, but just talking for the sake of filling up the silence I can do without. Talking just to hear a voice I find annoying, and I much prefer the company of a friend who can occasionally enjoy the quiet with me.

  • That's the way profile image

    That's the way 

    7 years ago

    I like a background sound, and I feel uncomfortable if I'm with a friend or relative and we both don't talk. If we don't have something to talk about, I usually grab some magazine and show him/her some article that I liked and ask him to read it and tell me what he or she thinks about it... :)

    Happy holidays! ;)


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