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The Jingle: Flash Fiction

Updated on December 13, 2016
wingedcentaur profile image

The first step is to know what you do not know. The second step is to ask the right questions. I reserve the right to lean on my ignorance.


Roland Carger walked into the room where Steve Laurel was tied to a chair, gagged. Roland sat down on the chair he'd brought in with him. "Hi, Steve. How're you doing? Those bounds aren't too tight, are they? Just tight enough to keep you there, but not so tight as to cut off the circulation. Cause God knows we wouldn't want that, would we?"

Steve Laurel could make no meaningful reply.

Roland Carger smiled with his entire body. "You know what my all-time favorite jingle is, Steve?"

This time Roland waited for a reply.

Steve shook his head: No.

"Oscar Meyer Bologna. Can you believe it? After all those years ago, that's still my favorite one? Its true though, yessirree bob!"

Roland sang:

My bologna has a first name, its O-s-c-a-r.

My bologna has a second name, its M-e-ye-r.

Oh I love to eat it every day; if you ask me why I'll saaaaay...

Cause Oscar Meyer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a.

Roland smiled and laughed. "Cute song. Cute kids who sang it. You never saw the kids singing it on camera, but you could tell they were cute from their voices."

Roland paused to take a breath.

Then he said, "You know, Steve, I'm no professional songwriter but I composed a little jingle just for this occasion. Would you like to hear it?"

Roland waited. Steve nodded: Yes. What else could he do?

Roland sang:

You borrowed money from me, that's the way it is.

Don't try to screw me over or I'll take you from your kids.

Take it from me, Buster, I'll make them sad and blue----your family that is.

Cause I am Roland Carger and that's K-I-L-L-Y-O-U.

Roland smiled and laughed. "Not bad for an amateur, huh?"

Steve shook his head: No, not bad for an amateur.

"Its memorable, isn't it? It kind of sticks with you, don't it?"

Steve nodded six times: Most emphatically yes! It was memorable. It kind of sticks with a person.

Roland stood and folded his chair. "Nice talking to you, Steve. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement."

He went to the door and opened it. "Oh Tony?" He beckoned to Tony. He put a hand on the big, bald, bruiser of an enforcer. "Uh... let me see, break every toe on his left foot. And then cut him loose so he can go get me my money."

The End.


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    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      4 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      @savydating. Thank you so much for the kind word.

      Take it easy.

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      4 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      @Fran Atanacio!

      Thank you so much, Frank, for the 'awesome' vote and the 'share.'

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      4 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      @carrie Lee Night. Hi there and thank you so much. I'm glad the piece didn't bore you.

    • savvydating profile image


      4 years ago

      I'd hate to be in Steve's shoes....

      Quite an interesting story. I'm guessing that's a jingle Steve wil never forget.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      4 years ago from Shelton

      wow..I actually enjoyed the are an able story teller voted awesome and shared :)

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Carrie Lee Night 

      4 years ago from Northeast United States

      Interesting and fun ! Love the jingles! :). Great flash fiction ...flowed nicely.


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