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The Joker is a husband who played one too many cruel tricks on his wife, will he be found out and get his just desserts?
A Cheating Spouse
When a partner finds out the one they have trusted with their life is cheating on them trust is destroyed, self doubt floods the mind and the self-esteem is irreparably damaged. The healing process is long
I Could Have Sworn
Just a moment, I could have…no, would Jim play a horrible trick on me like that…would he? I knew the answer, Jim would play a trick on me, I’d found that out before the accident.
Jim eagerly told me my problem was, ‘you cannot take a joke, Kerry. You have to lighten up. Don’t take everything I say as gospel truth.’
Jim was always telling me I was too gullible if he asked me to go to Timbuktu I would go. I supposed he was right; he was always right. Then the car accident and nothing was good anymore. Jim lost his eyesight from shards of glass spraying everywhere.
I was sitting at the dressing table brushing my hair, watching Jim through the mirror. Could I take Jim’s word that he was blind?
We were supposed to be going out; it was our celebratory second wedding anniversary. Unaware I was watching, h seemed to be moving freely about the room, and the thought crossed my mind, not for the first time, that Jim could see.
The Three A's Approach Ask, Assist
1. First approach the person suspected of low vision or blindness. Walk up to them, greet them and identify yourself.
2. Ask 'would you like a hand?' The person will say if they need assistance or not
3. assist by listening to they have to say. Not everyone with low or no vision wants help. Don't be offended if they refuse your help
The memory of many little things was beginning to mount up such as the time when Jim’s best mate, Barney turned up and suggested a game of golf. Jim was embarrassed, and I thought it was because he was newly blind and that Barney had cruelly forgotten.
Angrily on the attack, I accused, ‘Barney, how could you be as cruel to your best friend as to invite him to a game of golf at a time like this.’
Jim came to Barney’s rescue, saying, ‘It’s OK Kerry. Don’t take on so. It isn’t as if the world has ended; I’m only blind. Barney was only trying to help, even if he got it wrong. I would like to go out for a while Kerry, do you mind? Feel the wind on my face and Barney could play a round of golf, I could try to caddy for him. He could be my eyes and give you a spell.’
It sounded plausible, and I understood Jim’s need to get out and resume a normal life and do things without me. Another thing was puzzling me, instead of struggling with the loss of eyesight, not as a newly blind person might trying to come to terms with the loss of his sight permanently. I could not help thinking that after that first bitter outburst, ‘Why me, Kerry? Why did I have to lose my sight?’ Jim had overcome his loss quickly, too rapidly. He had not spoken of his loss hardly at all and adapted remarkably well. At work, he changed from an architect to a consultant and began to learn Braille.
Three Ways to Love Your Eyes
1. Have regular eye checks every two ywars
2. Protect your eyes from UV light by wearing sunglasses and a hat. Ultra Violate Light is known to contribute to cataracts and macular degeneration.
3. Eat well, don't forget your greens and fish. Keep moving, don't be a couch potato. Smoking can send the sight up in smoke or at worst macular degeneration
I looked back, there were many incidents such as the time when Jim’s best mate, Barney turned up and suggested a game of golf. Jim was embarrassed and I thought it was because he was newly blind and that Barney had cruelly forgotten.
‘Barney, how could you be as cruel to your best friend as to invite him to a game of golf when he cannot see,’ I accused, angry at Barney's insensitivity.
‘It’s OK Kerry. Don’t take on so,' Jim came to Barney’s rescue, 'It isn’t as if the world has ended, I’m only blind. Barney was only trying to help. Anyway, I would like to go out for a while Kerry, do you mind? Feel the wind in my hair and and sun on my face. Barney could play a round of golf, I could try to caddy for him. It would give you a spell.’
It sounded plausible and I understood Jim's need to get out and resume a normal life and not be tied to me. Another puzzle, Jim was so happy. Not like a newly blind person trying to come to terms with the loss of his sight permanently. I could not help thinking that after that first bitter outburst, ‘Why me, Kerry? Why did I have to lose my sight?’ Jim had overcome his loss quickly, too quickly, I couldn't help questioning. He had not spoken of his loss hardly at all and adapted remarkably well. At work, he changed from an architect to a consultant and began to learn braille.
A Watch in Braille for the vision impaired.
A Personal Crisis
I was having a personal crisis. The loss of Jim’s sight seemed to isolate me from him. I no longer felt close to him; I was not used to him not looking at me – not seeing me. I wanted him desperately to tell me how pretty I was, to feel his eyes rove over my body appreciatively devouring my boy arousing my senses erotically, inwardly, my heart was breaking. I could not tell Jim of these feelings, and he couldn’t be expected to understand.
He would sense my distress and critically say, ‘what’s the matter, Kerry, what have I done now? Spilled my food down my shirt?’ I felt he was critical of me that I blamed him for being blind.
My heart would contract at my selfishness and his loving graciousness at my inability to come to terms with his disability. I would determine to do better and not be a weight around his neck.
Diagnosed, as permanently blind Jim would never see again. Miracles do happen, and we often discussed what would happen and how we would react if the miracle of sight returned. As I looked at him in the mirror tonight, my heart flooded with love and pride in his physical perfection, his maleness, his air of wellbeing. …A little niggle of disquiet underscored my joy.
‘Are you ready Kerry?’ Jim asked. ‘What’s keeping you so long?’ Irritation threaded his voice. ‘We mustn’t be late; I organized the secetary to book a table for us. If we’re late, we’ll lose it.’
I Want to Look Beautiful
‘I want to look my best for you,’ then I remembered that he could not see me. I quickly rose and picked up my coat, going to his side put my arm through his, and together we left the room.
Just as we reached the lounge roo, the doorbell rang, and Barney entered in response to Jim’s, ‘Come in.’
‘Must you be so free with your ‘come in’? The wrong person could enter,’ I remonstrated in a whisper.
‘It’s all right, sweetheart. I knew it was Barney, my sixth sense and all that. You know how blind people become sensitive to what’s going on around them.’
Yes, I knew how knowing Jim had become. Was his sixth sense correct? I'd like to know.
‘Going out?’ Barney spoke hesitantly, ‘I won’t take long, just wanted to know if you had seen the plans for the new Japanese Consortium…’
‘Want a drink, mate?’ Jim cut off Barney’s words moving to the cabinet, noisily setting out glasses and uncapping the decanter, ‘Kerry and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary tonight.’ Jim poured the wine expertly and handed the glass out to Barney, ‘here’s to us.’
The moment was over, but Barney words hung in the air. The mists of uncertainty cleared for a moment, and I knew Jim could see. Then the cloud dropped, and uncertainty besieged me again. Just for a second, I could have sworn…Tomorrow I knew what I would do.
HOPE: a poem expressing the emotion that many people feel when they fall prey to sickness or disability. They hope and strive bravely to overcome their conditi
Hope drives forward
Seeking a reward
Hope never gives up
Looks on the bright side
Hope never dies
Suggests another way
Hope can be squashed
But springs up, born anew
Hope is always ready
To take another step
Hope is prepared
To take a knock
Hope is the stuff of success
If given full rein
Hope doesn’t stop
To count the cost
Hope keeps on trying
Hope is the backbone
Gwenneth Leane ©
- How would you treat an impaired vision person?
- Give them your seat on a bus, tram or train?
- Help them unravel a parcel?
- Make sure their plate of food is in front of them?
- Do you allow them space to be independent?
- Do you make sure they have a guide dog?
- Do you make sure they have a white can?
- Do you make sure the furniture is never moved?
- How would you feel if your loved one lost their sight?
- What would you do if your loved one became blind?
The History of Braille
When Dr Pignier introduced a History of France written in braille for his students, he faced dismissal from his position as headmaster, due to his insistence on pushing Braille’s system rather than the standard embossed letter system of the day.
Braille is a writing system used by the visually impaired and the blind and written with embossed paper. Braille users can read computer screens and other electronic supports thanks to refreshable braille displays.
Braille named after its creator, Frenchman Louis Braille, lost his eyesight due to a childhood accident. In 1824, at the age of 15, Braille developed his code for the French alphabet as an improvement on night writing. He published his system in 1824.
Two Kinds of Blindness
A vision impaired person often sees more than a person with full vision. More senses have been trained by the vision impaired for self preservation, for independence and awareness of what is going on around them. The seeing person takes sight for granted and has no need to train up other senses to just survive or earn a living. The seeing person can coast through life without a struggle.
A Reason To Quit. Blindness is often a result of smoking and therefore a good excuse to giving it up
The Many Causes of Impaired Vision In Australia
The leading causes of blindness and low vision are cataracts, onchocerciasis (‘river blindness’), trachoma, leprosy, and vitamin A deficiency,
The most prevalent causes of blindness and vision loss in Australia are age-related macular degeneration, cataract, glaucoma, diabetic retinopathy, uncorrected or under-corrected refractive error, eye trauma and trachoma in some remote areas. Other causes of blindness and vision loss in Australia include retinal diseases such as retinitis pigmentosa, amblyopia, eye cancers, stroke, complications of premature birth and various infective agents such as herpes zoster and cytomegaly virus in people with HIV/AID.
A cataract is a clouding of the eye’s naturally clear lens. When the lens becomes opaque, the amount of light that passes through it is reduced and scattered, and the image cannot be correctly focused on the retina at the back of the eye, leading to blurred vision. The eyes may be more sensitive to glare and light, and colours may seem faded or yellowed. Double vision may also occur. There are three types of age-related cataract: nuclear cataract (in the centre of the lens), cortical cataract (in the outer shell or periphery of the lens) and posterior subcapsular cataract (at the back of the lens in the central axis). The three types of cataract often occur together. Prevalence of cataract It is estimated that, in 2004, almost 1.5 million Australians aged 55 or more had cataracts, which represents 31% of that population (AIHW 2005).