The Kite Runner - A Grade Example Essay - English Literature Ella 1 - Hassan's diary entry about Amir's betrayal
Write a diary entry in the voice of Hassan, focussing on Amir's betrayal in chapter 4.
Give careful consideration to your language choice.
Today I am sad. Sad because me and father can no longer stay with Amir agha and Baba jan. Usually Amir’s thoughts are the only thing I can read like a book, but it took me a very long time to realise why Amir has been acting so differently, so badly to me, since the kite running tournament. He no longer wanted to play with me, like he didn’t want to see me or think about me and snapped at me when I asked him what was wrong. Amir was my first word, my best friend. Now he hates me.
At first I thought it was something that I did. After Assef committed a terrible sin, after he did what he did to me, all I wanted to do was finish my chores and sleep. I thought maybe Amir agha got upset with me and thought I was avoiding him. I asked him what I did wrong and why he no longer wanted to play with me, but he said I didn’t do anything at all, and told me that he wants me to stop ‘harassing’ him. I think that means annoy. This made me very sad, before Amir would always play with me.
But then I remembered how when other boys were round he would play with them instead of me. I guess they are more fun than me, or Amir just wanted someone different to play with. And then I realised, after Amir won the kite running tournament, he and Baba jan became closer. I was happy for this, but then I thought Amir no longer had a need for me which made me sad. He had replaced me with Baba. They went on a trip together without me because Baba jan thought I was too sick to go.
I was wrong about all of that though. I was stupid. I had not done anything wrong, and he did not lose his need for our friendship. At least not because of Baba. It was only before we left that I finally realised what Amir had meant when he said to me that I was harassing him. It was not my actions that annoyed him, it was my very presence.
On the day we left, Baba called me and father into Baba’s office and asked me if I stole Amir agha’s new watch. I didn’t know what to think. I was so confused. So upset. Then I realised, this was Amir’s way of getting rid of me, getting rid of my presence which annoyed him so much. I realised that Amir had seen what happened to me in the alley after I ran his kite. I know Amir, he is sensitive and cannot stop thinking about the past, his feelings ‘torment’ him. ‘torment’ a word I learned from his books. He blamed himself for what happened to me, for not trying to help. That’s why he hid. He was ashamed. He thought he had no nang and namoos and every time he saw me it reminded him of that. But I know that he loves me, he doesn’t have to risk his life to prove it! I wanted to cry. I knew that Amir knew what was best, for him and for me. Even though I knew Baba jan and padar would get upset with me I knew it was the right thing to do. I guess lying is not always wrong. I said I stole the watch.
It always shocked me just how much Baba jan cared for me and padar. He was good to us. He fixed my harelip which other children made fun of me for and for that I will forever be grateful. Every time I smile I will think of agha sahib. Though when padar said that we were leaving for Hazarajat, I did not expect Baba to start crying. Seeing that broke my heart. Baba jan is a man of courage and strength. Crying because of losing me and padar from his life really showed me just how much he cared for us. It made me happy and sad at the same time, but more sad because I knew we would never see Baba and Amir again.
The time that Amir agha threw pomegranates at me was a warning. He wanted me to hit him. He wanted to be punished. But I couldn’t. Amir was my best friend, nay, is my best friend. I would never hurt him. Even people who do wrong things like Assef should not be hurt. They just do not know any better. Inshallah, they will learn from their mistakes and become good.
And it’s okay here anyway, Amir was right, it really was for the best, it’s what Allah wanted. Life in Hazarajat is good for me and padar, it’s where we belong. Everyone here is like us and we no longer have to be called mean names. But I really do miss Amir agha and Baba jan. I will always be grateful for what they did for me and padar, and, although I doubt it, inshallah, I will get to see what kind of a man Amir turns out to be, what books he writes, and what his wife will look like. For now, I will focus on helping padar and start up a new life here, inshallah, it will all work out. Everything is Allah’s will.