- Books, Literature, and Writing
The Lone Mother
The Lone Mother
This mother stands alone, no husband due to return home, she was trapped in the walls that surrounded her, suffocated in the responsibilities that grounded her. Imprisoned in her own home forced to wait until her children are grown. Lost in the chores with the boredom that bored and bored her. No appreciation was sent her way, the endless jobs she endured each and every day, bogged down in a battle she knew she would not win the laundry and the chores in tidal waves that kept coming. She went through both pregnancies all on her own she gave birth to her children on the floor of her childhood home. She battled with bottle feeds the endless days and nights rolled together, sleep deprived, staving and trying to build a new life. So young and afraid when the reality hit her, she was twenty three with two kids and no one to help her. Not one single moment of peace belonged to her, the quiet left along with the rest of her, the person she once was; was gone and her children replaced her. Her former self vanished without a trace, lost and left behind just a memory from another place and time. There were no days off for this lone ranger she was mummy and daddy and sometimes a complete stranger. She was good cop then bad, the constant personality shift sent her a little mad. Her children never went hungry but she often did. She starved to feed them because no body else would. No body ever showed her how to be an adult she had to learn with two little people needing her help. Growing up together mother and child walking life's paths mile by mile. Her heart broke when the children's father let them down a no show again, the children ready waiting but he never came. He treated his children like the lost and found, leaving for weeks then coming back around. The father didn't care because he couldn't see, he couldn't open his vision to the hurt he caused everybody. This mother endured the anger from her child who thought it was her fault and she never denied it or put his father down, she took his vocal blows that cut her heart and used it to love him with all she had. The hardships she faced living far below the breadline from day to day, the worries kept on accumulating in the usual way. Problem after problem they never seemed to go. from clothing needs to grocery bills and laundry soap. Claiming the government handouts because she had no choice. The Job Centre kept her locked in their system she was sentenced to life. She was no better off even if she could of got a job. She put up with the judgements from the people she met the ones that failed to see her talents were hidden just beneath, just inside her was a beautiful song, low self esteem caused her to only sing it alone. Offer her a pencil she would draw you perfectly, a life like imitation of yourself in HB. But she could not sell her art for the price it was worth because she was surrounded by the low of the earth. People through no fault of their own entrapped in the same system she herself had grown, the generation lost with no hope of ever coming back the system claimed them so they couldn't be independent, they couldn't get out from under the governments failings, trapped in a world where the only future is day dreaming. This lone mother has battled it all the she has valiantly fought the darkest depressions of all, she kept it at bay but it always returned the darkness swallowing her up in its cold numb hand. With no help with coping she found ways to get by, forcing herself to live in a world of her own open eyes, all doors are shut there is no one at home the barriers went up and they never came down. Her children saved her for the deepest depths of depression they gave her hope and inspiration, they gave her something to wake up for and kept her loving on the darkest of days of all. She wouldn't of changed them even if she could because they were a part of her very sole this she understood. She didn't mind that the Father was gone she was mother and father all rolled into one and all the pride that lone ranger felt when achieving the impossible all by herself made it all worth it in the end because her struggles became memories she buried within herself.