Nonsense stories-The Milk Bottle
So here is another delightful story that developed from a bedtime game with my 8 year old daughter. What fun. Don't forget the British Accents...
Once upon a time, the milkman put a milk botle on the porch. "Right then," he said, "soon enough, the baby will 'ave some breakfast." Off the milkman went on his morning rounds. Meanwhile, the milk bottle stood stoic on the porch step. "I don't want to be breakfast," he thought, "I don't want to be alone. Do I have a family? I'm getting out of here." So off he rolled.
The milk bottle rolled down the sidewalk, and when he was about three houses down, he bounced into a little boys sneaker. The boy said, "Oy there milk! Whatcher off rolling about for. Aint you s'posed to be the baby's breakfast?" The milk told the boy how he didn't want to be alone. "Don't you have nobody?" asked the boy, "like a mother or somfin?" "What's a mother?" asked the milk bottle. The boy looked scandalized. "Oh, A right good thing mothers are. I've got one of me own and she's a dandy." That did it. The milk bottle was decided. He needed to find his mother. Surely it would all be clear then. He thanked the boy and rolled on.
A bit further down the block, the milk bottle bumped into a little girl jumping rope. "Oy there Milk!" she said, "Whatcher doing? Aint you s'posed to be the baby's breakfast?" "I'm going to find my mother," said the milk bottle. The girl jumped up and down with glee. "Oh yeah! Right fine thing mothers are. I've got one. Where's yours?" "I don't know," said the milk bottle. "I bet she's at the farm round the corner," said the girl, "there's buckets of milk there." The milk bottle was more excited than ever. It thanked the girl and rolled round the corner.
He rolled into a grassy area and was starting to feel lost when he bumped into a black and white leg. "Moo?" said the thing attached to the leg. "Are you my mother?" asked the milk bottle. "Moo," answered the thing, and it kicked its leg out at the milk bottle. The milk bottle tumbled over and broke, spilling the milk into a puddle. The calf came trotting over and licked it up.
And so the milk bottle was the baby's breakfast after all.