The Most Annoying Words And Phrases In The English Language
I'll start with condescending remarks, because what could be awesomer than the supercilious attitude of some swellhead that dishes the sure thing about anything and everything that can be talked about and bellows at you scornfully for being the witling you are.
These come in two generic types: the cowardly keyboard warrior most of us know from a place called HubPages forums, and the neighbor or colleague that will actually look you right in the eye and say it directly and openly in your face. I don't even know which is more awesome, because they conjure up different but equally powerful feelings of aversion. My top list of the most annoying English phrases goes like this:
- This is not rocket science.
- It's a no-brainer.
- Go figure.
- Don't sweat it.
- It's a piece of cake.
- No pun intended.
Then, there are those who are just really smart and have to share their wisdom with the world no matter what. Their advice is given freely and in abundance, because they know that more often than not you are just plain wrong, and that you haven't thought this through properly and it is their duty to help. Here's what they say:
- The bottom line is... (Everybody knows some accounting.)
- At the end of the day...
- Because when it's all said and done...
- I wouldn't worry about that.
- You can't see the big picture here.
- If you ask me...
- Here's my two cents.
- Just wanted to give you a heads-up.
- The name of the game is...
Then, there are the overused, hackneyed phrases that we all grew to love. Life is a tough teacher, it teaches by way of guise and indirection. This attribute of life and the teachings it bestows on us are well-known to most of us, hence all the clichés and annoying everyday wisdom. My favorite clichés and overused phrases that are boringer than heck include:
- You can't please everyone.
- I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.
- Life isn't supposed to be easy.
Cynical, self-centered or sarcastic remarks are the cream of the crop. People sharing their experience and attitudes towards everyday occurrences are another great source of amusement, precisely because they make the assumption that their views and opinions matter in your life - oftentimes wrongly.
- Just for the record...
- You're good in my book...
- We're on the same page.
- Back in the day...
- Are we having fun yet?
- I'm forever in your debt.
Ungramatical items constitute another distinct and readily distinguishable class of annoying English words and phrases.
- It's me.
- Who would've thunk!
- Can I ask you something?
- would of / should of / could of
- my bad
Then, there are things that are just plain stupid to say simply because they are nonsensical or oxymoronic.
- we are pregnant (of a couple)
- on so many levels
- everyday expert
- so-and-so (to denote a person)
- tons of fun
- I can't wrap my mind around this.
Some fashionable phrases are so lame they can make you quit your job. Literally. (Wow, I forgot 'literally'.) Once I quit a job, because my boss was trying to demonstrate to me how to think outside the box by giving me a "problem" to solve. Now, the problem he gave me was so well-known that bringing it up as an example was the exact opposite of thinking outside the box. I thought this was so lame that I was left with no choice but to quit immediately.
- Step out of your comfort zone.
- There's a lot on my plate right now.
- Let's see how far we can push the envelope.
- We need to spend some quality time together.
- I like the look and feel of this room.
- Let's take it to the next level.
- Try to think outside the box.
- I have some stuff to take care of.
- This was literally the best party ever!!!
- This rocks/sucks.
Note: Of course, I'm not really annoyed by any of these, so if 'Go figure.' is like the coolest thing to say eva(!), you don't have to wail and protest in the comments. Instead, just play along and share your own nuisances and stuff. ;)