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The Other Side of Me, a short story

Updated on September 7, 2010

There's a side of me that I don't show to friends or family,

a private part I'm sure you know, that doesn't look a bit like me.

She lives inside, a delicate sort, with ideas you wouldn't believe

she cries at night and begs and begs, "Please let me go free"

She's like a fairy, with a Gypsy's soul, no desire to stay

I know that if I let her out, she'll carry me away.

If there was a horse here, she would ride it,

a song playing, she would dance

If there was shot on the bar she'd drink it,

a cowboy, she'd take a chance.

I've been living up to responsibilities, I always do my part

but deep inside there's this other girl, and she has a gambler's heart.

If it wasn't for the debts I owe, the people I love, the friends I know

I guess I'd give in and let her out, but I don't do that, because I can't go.

The miles stretched out before us, I'd see the horizon's end,

I know that the gypsy inside of me longs for what's just around the bend.

The ache is strong and the tears are wrong, why can't I just go?

I guess the answer is in the question, I fear what I don't know...


She walks on glass

The way she walks you can see that she has come this way before. The glass no longer cuts her feet. Her scars are sore, but they have toughened her soles. She can walk on egg shells, hot coals too, she's been doing this all of her life.

Her curling hair dances in the breeze that calls her to the other side of here. We can't see where she's going, but her path is sure, she's gone there so many times before.

It must truly be something to see, if she would go barefoot across broken glass time and time again, just to see it. What could it possibly be that draws her there.

Is it music that she alone can hear, or is it a fragrance wafting on the breeze. By the way she tilts her head, you can tell it's one of these. If you ask her what it is she'll blush slightly, smile and lower her eyes... What could it be that would make her go to see it so many times?

You tilt your head this way and that, straining to hear what she hears, or smell what she smells. You have no desire to tread on broken glass or dance upon hot coals. You turn away, let her go, and you feel a chill as if all warmth leaves with her. The fear that one day she won't return grips you at your core. You look back, want to ask if you should come too, but she wouldn't hear you, she's too far gone already.

In her absence it seems as if everything is empty and dark and cold. The idea that you could have gone too crosses your mind and you promise yourself that when she returns you will ask where she went, why she goes... You vow that next time you'll go too!

You shiver in the surrounding shadows, darker now, and darkening still. You feel as if your breath is being stolen from your lungs as if the air is thinning. Where is she, your mind is moaning, you can't see her now, she's completely gone from view.

You grow angry in her absence, how dare she just leave you without even a word? You feel as though your lips are turning blue, why would she leave you like this? Doesn't she care, doesn't she know how much you need her? How dare she make you need her so! How dare she make you weak...

You must have fallen asleep. You didn't even hear her coming, but she's here. She's returned and you are crying. Her smile warms your tears and they dry on your face as the words you rehearsed over and over die on your lips.

You won't ask her where she goes, for fear she will remember and leave more quickly.

You won't ask what she sees there, because she is so beautiful to you, that you don't want to know what could be so beautiful to her. You wouldn't walk on glass, brave hot coals for her...

You won't ask her to take you with her next time, because of how you feel when she returns. All warm, and glad and grateful that she remembered you and came back before you froze to death in her absence.

It's a fair exchange, her warmth and light for your darkness.


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    • Faybe Bay profile imageAUTHOR

      Faye Constantino 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Breakfastpop, now I don't feel nearly so crazy! I was having great difficulty dealing with the fact that there are hidden others in me. Maybe that's all of us? Works for me! Saved me a trip to the psych ward, lol.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 

      8 years ago

      Beautiful and sexy. I'd like to think there is a little bit of gypsy in every woman.

    • Faybe Bay profile imageAUTHOR

      Faye Constantino 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi SaddleRider! I must admit I knew you would understand. I wish I could. I can feel the tears just behind my eyes and I know I made my choice long ago. I guess I'll write that story soon enough too. I chose to let my feet grow roots, and while the roots are not where my soul wants to be, they are roots nonetheless. I would dance if I were able, but there is a spell on my feet. It's not for me to go. Maybe someday.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 

      8 years ago

      It is the night that enraptures our souls and takes us on journeys such as what you wrote, to far off places to let our wanderlust souls free to roam and be gypsies and nomads.

      I believe it's our other selves that want to break free and show us who we really are. To breath magic into our spirits and let us soar with the eagles for awhile. I know that most of my life I have had that footloose feeling aching to come out and many times it did and people were hurt.

      Life is so strange, we take on all the responsibilities of marriage, children, financial burdens and at the same time feel like something is missing. I have struggled with often wanting to leave, run and be adventurous at times, sometimes never wanting to come back. So I understand your feeling in this poem. I have to sigh, take a deep breath and bring myself back to reality. Very interesting hub, now go be a gypsy:0) for awhile.

    • Faybe Bay profile imageAUTHOR

      Faye Constantino 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Ah Epigramman, you always make me smile. I know that if she could, my gypsy soul would be heading north to visit you and your lovely cats on the lake, sadly I am at anchor here in Florida.

      @ Karobi, you must write from your soul sometimes. Thank you for reading and commenting, and for sharing. I guess I must sometimes make more of my art and less of my "enlightening" hubs. I am always trying to find things that are useful to share, but forgot that art is important too.

    • karobi profile image

      karobi 

      8 years ago

      Faybe Bay is now I really see the other side of you and also understand the very advice that you gave to me the first time I joined Hubpages. Nice piece I will let others know about this. Thanks again.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      8 years ago

      ....and your profile picture reminds me of something that Leonard Da Vinci would have painted ....... if Mona Lisa hadn't shown up!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 

      8 years ago

      ..I love 'all' sides of you - especially your hubdelicious approach to life and living and keeping your readers entertained, educated and enlightened!

      You approach your writing with a stark honesty and profound simplicity which is truly an art form all by itself - then again you are a walking talking person of art! (and then some)

    • Faybe Bay profile imageAUTHOR

      Faye Constantino 

      8 years ago from Florida

      @Carolina Muscle, thanks for reading and commenting. Your one whose opinion always carries weight with me. I know it's silly, but I was afraid I was over the top. I have always felt like there was a side that if I turned to sharply would just separate and go her merry way. That's my gypsy soul.

      @ Pink Umbrella: So the inner me revealed... I am glad you like it. Thanks for coming and reading it for me. I was so unsure as to whether I should leave it up. Some people just choose a new screen name to put their literary stuff on, separating the genres by separating the "hub selves" but I don't know if I could keep up with all that. LOL. There are too many people in me already.

    • the pink umbrella profile image

      the pink umbrella 

      8 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      This makes me want to be a gypsy. Wow, faye, i never knew you had this insode of you. Im actually speechless. im going to read it a few more times today because when i read it i got caught up in the world you created, and i want to go back. Dont stop writing like this faye. majestic.

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      .... what a beautiful, mystical vision your gypsy is !! Nice work.

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