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The Perfect Storm

Updated on August 13, 2011

The clouds, distinctly edged,

by moonlight, sweeping in,

rolling waves of omens,

ignite the fears of men....



...Jagged, streaking lightning,

of silver, laced with white...

tainted, dark expanses

of sky, before your eyes....


...Mystic might, malicious

in appearance, in intent,

distinctly vivid flashes

electric static scent...



...Vast stretches of onyx,

smeared by crimson shades,

threaten desecration

of cherished, peaceful days...



...Mastery of senses,

too great to comprehend,

the perfect storm approaches

as acid rain descends...



© copyright Ben D.A 2011

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    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      I felt emotionally electrified, really beautiful and inspiring, Ben! Energizing. Yep, that's the word.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Awesome Benny with great pics and video too. The video just scared the crap out of my one cat who is laying against my laptop, ha, poor Punkin.

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      Rev - congratulations on having written a poem. That's pretty impressive. We've all done that a time or two. And I'm glad you're an anonymous "professional" writer, which must give you the right to be a dick.

    • profile image

      Rev 5 years ago

      Learn to take criticism. Do not dismiss it because it's "anonymous". Even if you knew my real name I'd still be a faceless person on the other side of a computer screen. I don't have a "hub" because I'm an actual, professional writer who's been published many times over the past 15 years. Just for you, here's one of my older poems.

      -Note Theory-

      Math can render speech awful;

      going through formulas can break

      binary waves upon beaches formed from nights

      loaded with pauses, entries between -

      rock stars pointing at the boy dozing at the edge of the club.

      With an intention borrowed from library texts,

      black shirt and grey hair imitate life

      in a dance none too surprising, more accustomed to

      following random whim or chance; speaking

      in tongues heavy with squares of LSD

      on the outskirts of an Orlando downtown which is saturated

      and, too, weighted,

      by the air itself, every individual wondering

      where the story begins.

      They gather in dances; they live with brass expectations;

      they drive themselves crazy on roads and moments.

      Forgetting the concrete reality of the city, they meet

      in black screens, huddled

      in rooms piled with dirty clothes

      with clean fingernails.

      And this city, if it sleeps, does so in fits.

      Grown around abandoned playgrounds,

      carried through the night on the whisper of youth,

      viewed with such joy that the lights go out,

      and the blinking motion of an eyelash would be nothing less

      than a treasure.

      Over and through you I've written these words,

      to land in your mind

      like wartime sparrows.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Another naturalistic sensory of words Ben.;)

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      thank you chspublish :]

      tnder - immensely is always good :D

    • profile image

      tnderhrt23 5 years ago

      I enjoyed this poem immensely!Intense, vivid and flowing. Nicely done, Ben!

    • chspublish profile image

      chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

      The power of nature captured within the power of your words. Thanks for sharing your gift.

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      Right on, Wayne! Haha, well, I hope I rise to greatness, after I'm six feet under :D

      I appreciate that comment, thank you

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      Ben, I read it twice and found nothing within this work that I would call "deeply entrenched cliches". Perhaps "The Rev" needs to enlighten us as to where and when his/her career as a writer hit such heights as to even suggest such criticism. Frankly , I don't know any writer of substance who would stoop to such commentary. Besides, we know that all the great poets are the dead ones. You just keep doing your thing. WB

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      I wouldn't dream of letting some smart ass anonymous hater shoot me down :D lol

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      Ben the REV wasn't the caliber of traffic I intended to send your way, where did he slither out from under, must be bored on a Saturday night, figured let's go in and shoot down a few poets. NADA..doesn't work. and your welcome, I put a good word out for a fellow Poet.

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      oh, and also, sorry mckbird, I accidentally left you out!

      thank you for your visit and comment!! :]

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      thanks, saddle...

      easy to be an asshole, when you're anonymous, isn't it? haha

      Thanks for sending some traffic my way, it's helped :]

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 5 years ago

      Here here young Ben, that's telling him:0) gotta luv these characters who come in and leave a rant, don't identify themselves, don't have any hubs, yet come in and criticize. Don't let the REV get to ya, he's a spill over from the forum, can't secure an audience in there so has to come into a hub and shoot it down. Gotta love those BOTS.

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      qudsia - thank you again for your kind words, and yes, I love those two words, but in this poem's case, it was because I had to use them for a contest. :]

      cardisa - thank you for the visit and comment :] and yes, inner turmoil can be compared to that haha

      willstarr - thank you very much for that :]

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      Oh, and also, I wrote this poem for a contest that required me to utilize certain words, perhaps those were the "cliches".

    • BenWritings profile image
      Author

      BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

      rev - I'll dignify your ridiculous comment with this response:

      It's pretty obvious that my fan base is FAR FROM "emo-tinged" girls...I have been supported by many other groups of people since I started on here.

      If you'd like to point out my cliches in a constructive way, feel free...otherwise, "grasshopper", keep your insulting opinions to yourself.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Very good, Ben! Wow! Up, and everything but funny!

    • profile image

      Rev 5 years ago

      If you'd like to approach writing from the standpoint of actually getting published, you'll need to get away from the habit of using such deeply entrenched clichés in your poetry. If you're content to have your audience limited to emo-tinged girls who think you're cute and that the True Blood novels are decent literature, don't change a thing. It's your call, grasshopper.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      BenWritings. Apocalyptic imagery and ample metaphor.

    • Cardisa profile image

      Carolee Samuda 5 years ago from Jamaica

      Our inner turmoil also brings such storms into our lives. Sometimes the storms come from the core of our beings, to burst forth as our sorrows spew outwards to release our pent up woes.

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 5 years ago

      Wonderfully done Ben.

      The lightening and thunder effect made it even more surreal.

      I believe you have a certain attachment with the words 'onyx' and 'crimson'. I see them often in your poems; still you do them justice as well.

      Do stop by my hubs if you have the time sometime. :)

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