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Advice from the Know-It-All

Updated on February 19, 2017

We meet and see them, and are forced to listen to their opinions.

It’s the know-it-all in all their galore. They have every single answer to every single thing you could ever discuss, ask about, or problem you have.

The one thing this article exists for is to provide and justify the warning I am going to give to people about listening and taking advice from a know-it-all.


Why Call Out the Know-It-All?

No experience. They have no experience in 65% of the things that are discussed in a social setting.

They don’t know what it feels like to be shot. They don’t know what it feels like to be dumped on chapel steps while pregnant with quintuplets.

Any emotional advice from them should not be taken seriously.

Most of the know-it-all's too often say how a person reacted or behaved after an incident, was stupid, dumb, and so forth. After insulting someone, who’s probably coming out of a painful or horrible situation they've never been in, they say, "I would've done this or that."

They are not psychologists or sociologists. Without these credentials, they also lack that very same element, experience. So listening to them about advice on how to feel after your ex tried to blow you up in your car, or keeps leaving dead animals on your doorstep; is not a good idea.

Here are some things that Know-it-all’s tend to insult people on reacting negatively for, and then, spews their advice about what they would do, or what you should do in general.

These are also things that, you, the person who's going through the ordeal, should not seriously consider or listen to.



Life doesn't always pan out as everyone wants it to or needs it to. This is common. Some people are dealt a bad hand and it is harder for them to get out of certain situations.

People lose their parents before they make it big; people lose their brothers, sisters, or husbands to freak accidents. People suffer a loss with their children seventeen years from the wound to a silly drunk driver. And those people, who suffered this tremendous loss, will feel all types of things.

Most people will never have to deal with anyone telling them a person they love has been murdered or killed by someone else.

But for the unfortunate ones, the one thing they feel the most pain from is loss. Missing them, needing to see them and be around them is a feeling you can never shake off. For this individual to want to, or think of, committing suicide is natural. It is natural to want a way out of constant pain.

And then we have the know-it-all, coming up to say this is a stupid way to feel and how they wouldn’t feel this way.

And what you want to say, but don’t say, that I can say is, “you don’t have any experience with this type of pain and the depression that occurs from this, so shut the hell up please.”

This know-it-all saying someone is stupid for feeling this way would make the grieving individual very upset. It would make them feel like they should not be a human-being.

A person can feel anyway they want to feel during a horrible time like grievance and pain. They should in peace just because.

Therefore, tuning out the know-it-all is the best thing to do at this point. You don't need to feel terrible how much you want to get away from the pain you feel inside.



Failure can be a terrible thing. It can knock you off your of path in life permanently. Failure could be in the form of a failure as a father, mother, to yourself, in your goals, your career, or to someone who has desperately needed you.

In the event of any of this, please don’t take advice from the know-it-all.

If the person has never lost an opportunity to turn their life around, the will to fight an addiction, or something entirely other than what you're experiencing, you should not be listening to their advice on dealing with failure.

Trust me, you would be better off listening to a therapist or psychologist.



Being betrayed is a big deal. It is the hardest thing to forgive, and it brews that awful damaging thing that I have written about before, hatred.

No matter which way you look at betrayal, the offense will feel like a big deal.

Betrayal is your best friend ruining your relationship or marriage because they want what you have. It could be something entirely other from a family member or friend; there are plenty of ways to be betrayed.

And here comes the advice from the know-it-all, usually telling you to let what someone did to you go.

They have never dealt with any serious level of heartbreak or envy that's really been emotionally damaging. Yet, they will elaborate on how they would automatically forgive and forget.

I know for a fact, the worst thing you can do is walk around like what's happened to you hasn't happened. It makes you feel like you're not important. It makes life feel unfair and stirs up hatred. And no, you should not be giving your mental space to hating someone.

You've been betrayed by people you trusted and thought cared about you. So please, for the love of your own well-being, don’t listen to the advice from the know-it-all.

Not that you should go out and commit bloody murder, but bottling up all your anger, and not ranting or doing some other stress releasing activity, is not a good idea. It is hard to just forgive and especially to forget, it will take time.

Last Note

I don't know what it's like to be in most of these positions. I can't say how I would react to heartbreak, betrayal, or a psychotic ex stalking me.

That I don't know how I would react, neither do others that have never been in these positions. So, not discussing and giving advice to people in these positions would be something I would do.

Listening, being there, and offering good encouragement and understanding, would be something to do. This should be the norm for a lot of people, especially when regarding all the know-it-alls out there.


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    • SonQuioey10 profile image

      Toni Northern 6 years ago from Williamston NC

      Thanks @Deb Welch. It's hard to listen to people give others advice about how to deal something in a destructive way, such as saying, what they do to deal with their pain is stupid or dumb. And I've always felt, if that person has never been there, don't give any advice. Thanks for the vote up.

    • profile image

      Deb Welch 6 years ago

      SonQuio - To be Eyes and Ears has some value. You are very right indeed - no one has done it all or knows all in this world. Many can try to help or one must go on their own and find their own answers to their own individual problems. Good Hub - Up - useful and interesting.

    • SonQuioey10 profile image

      Toni Northern 6 years ago from Williamston NC

      Thanks for reading. Glad to oblige.

    • Abundant old soul profile image

      Abundant Old Soul 6 years ago from united states

      Been there. You make some great points. For me, as a know it all, I can it try to encourage and listen .

      Thanks. a o s

    • SonQuioey10 profile image

      Toni Northern 6 years ago from Williamston NC

      Thanks for reading. And you're definitely right, one shouldn't allow people to discuss their business, and they shouldn't discuss their business with anyone, especially if they're uncomfortable with a negative opinion.

      It's easy for someone, an associate of a friend, to come over or meet up and this person just and butt in a conversation between two or more people that are fond of each other. In that situation, I think the person who's not really a friend in the group, just the visitor, should allow the friends to talk with this person and not jump into the conversation. Jumping in is the know-it-all attitude in the situation, the person with answers to everything. And although they may only be trying to help or are just used to being boisterous, it's not good to throw your opinion into every situation. Sometimes, silence is definitely golden.

    • EstellaGrace profile image

      EstellaGrace 6 years ago from New York

      This is a valuable point you're making. It's easy for everyone (myself included) to dish out opinions for situations they are only imagining to have encountered. I have actually stopped giving advice for this very reason. I am now a listener, and an "empathizer", and I might lay a few options on the table, but I try not to tell people what to do, because what do I know?

      Another spin on this concept that is often over looked lies in the mind of the asker. People definitely need to stop looking to others for help in many situations. Answers lie within. Getting other people involved in your personal business will only cloud your judgment, and confuse your values. No one can possibly know what is right, or even which way is up, for someone else.

      It is a basic human instinct to want to "help" when someone is asking for an opinion or advice. People need to stop asking in the first place.