The Soscide Bomb
I was only three minutes younger than my big brother Tyler. He was always above me. I use to staisfy myself by declaring that all his achievement was because he is older than. Some days, I stand I front of the mirror and trying to imagine how can three minutes make all this difference. Well, I have no answer and ,probably, I will never. From the day I was born, the only thing I knew is that Tyler is completely better than me. I don’t know if I believed that I will be able to reach him, but that was the fact.
Three days before the school started, he came to my room and narrated for me his story with the big guys. Brother always tries to calm me down by telling that there are a stronger people than he is . He never thought that this action makes me worse. Anyway, he told me how awful he felt before a teacher came and dragged him safe. “God saved me, I was going to die,” he said with his always star-shining voice.
“You want to tell me that you don’t want to go to school?” I asked him , but I was sure that his answer will be no.
“ Umm… not really Timmy, ” he answered waving his hand around me.
'Timmy’ is the name that Tyler always calls me with. I don’t know exactly what he means by calling me this. The only thing I know is that I hate to be called by that name, but I never told him this. I can’t blame him. Mom named me Simon while dad was inestegating by very small body . I came after my brother Holding his leg. The doctor explained to my parents that my size will not be a horrible problem, but they need to be careful. What he mean by ‘need to be careful’ was supposed to also mean that my situation needs a huge care to save my life. Tyler, on the other hand, is a huge boy. He has all his health components. When I stand beside him, he looks like one or two years older than me even though we are twins.
This summer, my tribble immunity was doing its job. I stayed at my bed for half the summer unable to move even an inch. The only thing I can move was my eyes. That was exactly what I treid to prevent , because this summer Tyler promised to take me to the Disney shows. “ I am sorry Timmy.I wished I could take you but _” he stopped because he knows that I can guess what he was going to say after. I just give him a nasty look and surrendered to sleep. I was able to speak and walk three days before school. That was my best summer ever.
Next year was our fourth-grade year. However, I will stay at third because I was apsent for almost three months (total) from the school due to my immunity. My parent tried to stay against this rule and I did too, but I was of no use. The principal promised to push me to fourth grade if I finished some summer sessions this fourth-grade summer. I don’t really think if I could because it is according to my immunity. “Thanks, Mr. Gene” dad was so appreciative. Tyler was sitting beside me while my parents were protesting with a principal.
“ What do you think the principal will say?” he asked me suddenly.
“ He will say get him out of school solely,” I replied with a tired voice.
Tyler gave me a horrible look and then crunched me in the shoulder with his big hands .“ Don’t say this again?” he said bringing his head closer to me, “ you have to be hopeful”. I just looked at him with a blank eye. Being helpful was only a joke to me. My parent then came out smiling indicating a sign of the principal acceptance.
I dint appreciate the first day of school. As usual, it always ends up with a horrible headache that keeps me absent the next day. Everybody will be super surprised by an absence at the first week of school.I will not be absent. I don’t really care how miserable I will look tomorrow, I will just go because I am sick off missing school days.
“Are you sure you can go Simon?” said mom from behind the kitchen table. She was giving me this eyes that everybody gives even if they never see me before : the eye of pitying.
“Yes, mommy. I don’t want to miss the second day; it is important”
Tyler comes forward and measured my forehead, “ He don’t have fever mom. Let him go.” Mommy just smiled and gestured a faint ‘ok’. By this time , Dad exits for his work after kissing the three of us. We helped mom with the dishes and left. Tyler was holding my hand all the way to school. I wished he could not do that to me. I wish I could push him away from me. Since we started going to school, I never wanted to be with Tyler. He looks older than me and more normal even though he is my twin. When we walk beside each other, half of the school will start murmuring as if the principal was passing by wearing a girl dress or something. I can see all of them staring gain with this eye that I really hate. I wanted to stay at third grade. At least it will be normal how small I look comparing to my brother. However, dad and mom solved the situation already and I don’t want to be absent a lot this year.
He finally left my hand free when he heat the principal calling him. Tyler is the student council president. That job is really important and that is all that you need to know. This is not his only contribution, however. He is also number one in the ranking system. Everybody speaks about Tyler when they come to talk to me. They tell me how I am lucky to have a twin brother like him. They will list on of my ears all the stuff he is better than me at. Swimming, soccer, tennis and even horse riding. He became famous in just a week when we first transferred to Brinker Elementary School. I became famous too , but not for me but for him.
I don’t love my brother, but I also can’t hate him. Everyone around us thinks that we are best friends just because Tyler must stay with me to take care of me the whole day. You don’t think that make me mad, don’t you? It did make me very livid that my brother who is same age as mine is responsible for me while I am not. The long time we spend together at home and at school shielded hatred from entering my heart, but there was still something that causes me to cry every night, but I don’t know it. It came from inside my heart and blow into tears. I don’t know if Tyler knows the truth about his only brother, but I don’t want him to know.
When we went back home from the second day of school, I closed myself to me room and never came out. Why? I heard enough about Tyler this second day. I know my parent will talk about him at lunch and every time. They seem that they only care about my brother. They are waiting for me to die and for him to be their only kid. After that, Tyler takes all their care by himself.
“Where is Simon?” mom asked anyone who noticed that I was not with them at launch table.
“ He is at his room ,mom. I don’t know exactly why, but I think he is tired,” replied Tyler.
‘Sick’ and ‘tired’ were they only characteristics I get from my family description of me. I exit my room to proof I am not tired, but I fell down the stair because my eyes were blurred with tears. Now they will think I am crying because I was hurt.
“ Simon!” Mom stood up and run toward me. She was giving me this eye again.
“ Hunny! Are you Ok?” Dad also gave me the eye. Suddenly all three of them were around me trying to figure out if I was still alive. Their faces were dark and painted. The last thing I saw was mom rubbing my back and trying to make me straight, but I suddenly fainted back to her lap. I wake up hours later with a food tray on my lap. Tyler was smiling at me using his huge mouth. “I pledge mommy to let me eat with you, Timmy , he explained before handing my a spoon. At that moment only ,I wanted to reach him and hug him, but I wasn’t able. He only held my hand and told me that I am alright. We ate in silence for a moment until Tyler brought out the story of those guys again. I knew by now that he is very grateful to that teacher who helped him. After we ate , Tyler went down to tell mom that he wants to sleepover with me today. She agreed anyhow and he came to my room holding his pillow and screaming from felicity.
“ Guess what?” he asked me out of excitement.
“ We will play together on the laptop before sleep.”
I didn’t reply because I don’t care anymore. Tyler looked at me so miserably. He knew that the idea didn’t feel to be really interesting to my ears so he messed my hair cut. Tyler does that when he want to warm me up. I stood from my bed and messed his too. Soon, We started to fall over each other and scream. I can hear my mom asking us to stop from downstairs. That night was the only time I wanted to stay with brother Tyler.
When Tyler got his thirteenth athlete medal this year, I left the house. My family kept searching for me for almost four days until they found me at Mr. Slim house. Mr. Slim is Dad's best friend and loves me so much, but he also pities me like everybody else. Maybe everybody just wants me to die . After that , thier eyes will be prevented from falling every time they see me.
Tyler hugged me rigidly while he was crying. Mom and Dad were just being asked to sleep over with Mr. Slim. Our house was really far.“I thought I will never see you again Timmy,” he told me while I was still surrounded by his arms. I just nodded for him. “ I couldn’t sleep all those days. Please, Timmy, don’t do this to me again.” I nodded again. “I want to be with you forever Timmy.” He made his hug tighter and then released me. For the first time, I saw Tyler crying. No, he was sobbing breathlessly. He wiped the tears from his eyes and hugged me again, but softer this time. I knew that my brother Tyler loves me as if we were a similar peace or maybe he is pretending. I don’t want to remain with my brother Tyler at all. I want to be as far as possible from him especially if somebody else was around.
The fourth grade ruled over really fast. Tyler received his awards from the school the night that I fell sick. He went to my room after he came from the ceremony and sat beside my bed. I opened my eyes and spotted him wearing a medal and a very beautiful shirt.
“ Timmy I got you a prize.” His eyes was glowing in the darkness of my heart. He opened my hand and handed me a Disney show ticket. I smiled and rolled by head away from him. He knew why I was not real excited. “Sorry Timmy. Don’t worry. The show is not until next month.” He kissed me on my forehead and exit the room. That night I was just crying and dreaming about the day when I will receive a medal. This day will be when somebody awards because of me not because Tyler is my brother.
When next month came, I was still sick. Tyler went to the show anyway. He probably didn’t even check if I was sick or not, He just guessed it right. I went to the dining room while mom was cooking something smell delicious in the kitchen. I sat on the couch in front of the counter and stared at the glass pod that was on it. I stared for more than half an hour. The next thing I was doing was approaching this pod and investigating it.
“ Hunny, this is the gift that you and Tyler gave me last year. Do you want to use it for something” mom asked me when she noticed my weird actions I am doing . I just nodded and I can’t say ‘yes’. My nod will be less shameful later than a clear ‘yes’. With a fake excitment, I went to my room and brought a wool. I then connected the pot to the chair with it.
After an hour, Tyler entered holding a huge camera. “ I got your life prize brother!” his eyes was brighter this time , but my heart was so dark to let it be. I pretended running to him happily and suddenly tripped with the wool that was stretched in front of me. The glass pod was falling on my back. I just closed my eyes. When I opened it, I was still safe, but a drop of blood fell on my cheek. I looked up. That was Tyler blood. He blocked the pod from breaking on my back. He just did what I wanted him to do. Eventually, he felled on me and my mom started running toward us. Her face visage was as if someone punched her.
The ambulance carried my brother to the hospital. Mr. Slim was called to stay with me. I was just staring at the area where Tyler blood stained the floor until the phone rang. Mr. Slim went to the phone. I can see him crying. He hangs up and went to continue cleaning Tyler blood. I went to Tyler room and started shuffling among his stuff and I found a bunch of polishing devices. I wonder what he needed those for. I was staring at them and wake up when I heard mom sobbing as the door downstairs was opened. I run down the stair and almost fell. She ran toward me and hugged me just the way Tyler did earlier. She stopped crying for a moment and kissed my head. “ Your brother wanted to you see you, but he died before that.” For the first time I couldn’t believe it, but when I remembered how big the stain of blood was, I became certain that he did. Mom released me and gave me something on my hand. “This is what Tyler wanted to show you.” It was a box colored green which was my favorite color. I opened it and spotted a lot of gifts and colorful papers. However, what got most of my attention was a huge medal. It was a circular medal and I could read clearly read what was written on it. ‘Simon, for being the best companion for ten years.’
I cried the harder I can do. I hugged the medal and lost my balance and fell to the ground. Mom held me and hugged me again. I knew now exactly how important my brother was. He was not only important to those who give me the pitying eye, but me too. He was the only who gave me the medal that was truly for me; only me. That is because Tyler loved me the way I was.It was too late for me to recognize this. Tyler was no longer here. I went to his funeral and helped in his burial.I knew at the last moment I saw his body ,once somebody has all this envy there is no reason for it at all. It kills him like a suicide bomb.
Please answer and comment
Did you envied someone one day? Be honest to yourself?
If so, do you think that the person you envied feel that you are envying him?